FYI, my mil's dog needs to be shot and buried deep, deep into the ground.

K went over to T's house yesterday and Z came over to mil's to play with C while S was building our basement (why he chose between Christmas & New Year's Eve to start this project, I cannot understand) and mil's dumb chihuahua bit Hammer not once, but twice and apparently nipped Z.

This isn't the first time the dog has bit someone and likely won't be the last.

Anyway, rant off

K had a good time at T's however they did have a bicker here and there - typical of those two and clearly not any deep wounding as they are already clamoring for another play date. As are C & Z.

Um. I had more to say but now I have to to work now. So basically: kids had good time, dog needs to be shot.

S got me awesome stocking stuffers this year, including a box of bobby pins with a magnetic opening so they don't fall out all over the place, the best hairbrush in the universe, a box of Lindor chocolates, and a 2-disc Christmas album featuring most of my favorites - Sinatra, Cole, Fitzgerald, Martin, good ol' Bing - the list goes on.

The kids loved their gifts from Santa - for C, I managed to pull a miracle out of my ass and find one of those little 5 dollar dolls she was looking for. This pleased her beyond belief, and C was just as pleased and hasn't parted with her mp3 player (we only got it for 29 bucks! Talk about a steal). K has set up and pulled apart his Dino Attack Lego more times than I care to mention (mainly because yours truly got to be his "helper" the whole time), and enjoyed his little plastic Army Men immensely.

Both our sets of parents showed restraint this year when it came to gift-giving and this makes us very, very happy. S got a new cordless drill & bits from his folks and I got a bunch of Sudoku puzzle books and a Cranium Turbo board game, among little things here and there. The kids only got two big toys each and then books and things. C got Bella Dancerella Pop Star from S's parents and she just loves it - it's basically karaoke and dance game all at once. She can't wait to show her friend Z. She also got some Littlest Pet Shop thing - I don't know, I find it hard to keep up with all the new kid things! K got a Fur Real pet cat which he has been lugging around and loving because it isn't like his real kitty that doesn't let him hold her for long. He also got a dinosaur and truck thing which is pretty cool - the T-rex roars and everything.

We all love the Wii and I especially like that it gets the kids up and moving. Today we caved and purchased The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and for yours truly, Trauma Center: Second Opinion. Rogers video was giving out coupons allowing for 20 bucks off when you purchased two games. Hoorah! The Trauma Center game is wicked - you are more or less an OR surgeon and get to perform operations - from making the incision to stitching the patient up again - removing bad body parts, the whole deal. This appeals to me because I am especially geeky & macabre, I guess. I bet Hammer's daughter would like it since she keeps saying she wants to be a doctor - heck I bet C would get a kick out of it. It is rated T though so I'm going to see how bad it is before suggesting she play it.

Ok, that's enough product whoring for one post, non?

Hope everyone had an awesome holiday. I'll post photos later maybe.

RIP, James Brown. You've certainly earned it.

Charlie Brown Christmas
Originally uploaded by sadsilliness.

Merry Christmas to you all. May you all be safe and happy and at peace. Lord knows we need more of it nowadays.

The kids love the Wii and are playing boxing - one little problem though. K keeps yelling "Punch him in the weenie!"

Which is hilarious, actually...

My brother & his girlfriend came over for Christmas today, as did my Uncle M & his wife & my little cousin. My kids just adore her so they all had fun and it was a nice, peaceful visit.

My mother and father called from Portugal and they are living it up and having an excellent time. I'm sort of jealous but also sort of homesick for them. Christmas Eve is *our* time, you know?

Ok all, be safe, happy and whole.

xoxox

So V is here - due to a date mix-up she came a day early, but we had fun nonetheless. My mother did her usual guilt&martyrdom dance of "your house better be clean, this girl is sleeping over, bla bla bla and also here are all the things you did wrong with regards to your children and their Christmas concert". I don't want to get into it because I'll just get angry or cry.

I have to work today which totally sucks but V is sticking around until I'm done and then we'll spend another evening together and I'll take her home.

Christmas is only in a few days and I could care less at this point - and it makes me very sad to say that.

The kids are going to be happy though.

S bought a Wii. That is our gift to each other. I still got him stocking stuffers though.

Ok. I'd better go.

Office Christmas lunch today. So guess who gets to go in early and set up the whole damn thing? That's right.

I'm sure it'll be fine, and fun, and fun and fine. But still.

3 more sleeps till my V comes to visit. 5 more sleeps till Christmas. Where the hell did the time go??

So we had a Christmas gathering at my parents' house last night since they are going to Portugal on the 22nd. There was a metric fuckton of food and booze and whatever you could possibly think of. The kids got a LOT of clothes and new snowsuits and only 1 toy each from my parents (my mom actually *listened* this year when I asked her to slow down on the toy purchases). My vavo gave them each new pajamas and then my brother & his girlfriend gave them both the Harry Potter Scene It game and ten dollars each. Overall, they were pretty content.

My parents loved their gifts from me which is a huge relief as I'm always struggling to find something they will love and/or actually use. I gave my mother this porcelain statuette of a mother and daughter holding hands and it looks like they might be playing ring around the rosy or something. My father I gave a big bucket with wine and some glasses and a martini shaker and then a DVD of choice episodes from Welcome Back, Kotter. He's big on nostalgia so he was all over that.

My brother and I have stopped exchanging gifts - what we do instead is all go out for dinner sometime before or after the holiday and spend our money on food and time together rather than gifts we may or may not need.

The kids' Christmas concert is next Wednesday. As class rep I'm supposed to call parents to remind them about it and about what they need to bring - in all honesty I just don't have the gusto to do it... plus I seem to have lost my call list. Hmm.

So there's exactly one week until Christmas. It still feels surreal to me - the year went by FAST.
My brother celebrated his 29th birthday on the 11th. He isn't looking much forward to thirty - I told him 30 was probably the best birthday I had, and I'm sure it'll be the same for him.

Ok time to go.

Happy Birthday Jackie!

Haven't slept too well the past few days. I think things are piling up too much in my brain.

We went to S's bank to talk turkey about our mortgage today, at the new banking officer's request - new acct manager = meet the clients time.

It went over ok... she was happy to talk to someone who knew what she was talking about.

I have more to say on it but this isn't really the forum for it.

One of my friends is due to have her baby any day now - keep waiting for the phone call, but I'm not surprised I haven't got one yet. It's her first baby, after all, so of course it'll probably go past the due date.

My kingdom for a Dr. Who Dalek knitting pattern. I would love a soft cuddly toy that cries "exterminate!"

But that's just me.

I may just have to make one for my own damn self. I bet it would be easy - just use the bobble pattern for the base and knit a tiny skullcap for the top, then knit on a couple of limbs... hmmm...

I bet a get a lot of google hits now for mentioning "Dr. Who Dalek knitting pattern". Betcha five bucks even.

Ok time to go wrestle with my hair again.

Holy crap I want to do this .

I realize it's all about how he's shaking the cup around to get the dice to the top but it's still pretty damn cool.

Also, I've always liked that letter to Virginia.

Christmas is almost upon us and frankly I'm nervous.

Ok. So. My friend from the UK is coming to visit on the 22 of December - this makes me absolutely giddy. My cousin Lo is coming on the 29th so I'm twice as giddy. It's going to be a good holiday, in spite of having to work a few days through it.

C got in trouble - she kicked a boy in the back. All because some girls told her that some boy had hit her on the butt - but she didn't even feel it. Then this other boy was laughing with his friend at her. She got all mad at being made fun of, so she kicked him in the back. She didn't even want to tell me what she ended up doing was saying "sign this and don't read it ok?" So naturally I read it and was even more upset because she tried to hide it from me. S decided to tell her she wasn't going to Brownies tonight, though it was the Christmas one. We had a long long talk about how she should be dealing with her anger, and what she should do. To drive the point home we also added that this boy's parents must be pretty angry, and probably wanting to see the principal to see what happened and be assured it would never happen again. We reminded her about how many problems we have had with K being picked on, and how it made us all feel, and then she goes and kicks a boy in the back while he is sitting and certainly not expecting it.

In the end we agreed she could go and instead, her punishment is going to be that she has to scrub the upstairs bathroom - I mean really scrub. She is going to do her regular chores as well and NOT get allowance for it this week. She is going to apologise to the boy and mean it. There were some other things discussed but you get the point. The only reason we relented about Brownies was because for one thing, it was the Christmas event and she had already missed last's week's festivites, and she didn't kick up a fuss when we told her she couldn't go - she took it in stride and just went to her room when we told her. She was terribly upset but she didn't pull a tantrum or anything. S had actually given her the choice of either missing recess for 2 days (her punishment if she didn't bring in the signed note) or missing Brownies. She chose missing Brownies, even though she was desperate to go, because missing recess would be too much.

In a way I feel like I copped out, but on the other hand, the kid is eight, she's never really lashed out at anyone before, and she was reasonable about her punishment. Plus, there's nothing like scrubbing at a tub to make you realize "gee... I really, really hate this chore" and maybe she'll think "perhaps I will behave better next time".

Any feedback on my terrible parenting skills will come upon shut ears. You've been suitably warned.

A little hungover today. The Christmas party was decent but there was something off, I don't know.

Brotherinlaw & his girlfriend K are very cute together. S looked dashing in his suit as always. ME & JG were pretty mellow - probably because ME was pregnant and not in the mood to dance or anything, while JG was doting on her so she didn't feel out of the loop or whatever.

The meal was pretty decent too.

Too much vodka though.

Head a little hurty

Also it takes about a damn hour to straighten my hair because my hair straightener is crap. I will have to invest in a better one if I wish to pursue this.

Ok time to go nap before we get the kids from my folks' house.

I got a haircut today. I kinda like it!



Took the day off work as it is a PA day and I had one left to use for the year. If you don't use them you lose them.

The kids also got their haircuts, and are looking pretty snazzy I must say.

Tomorrow is FIO Christmas party. I have to remind S to get his stuff from the drycleaner. I also need to see if I can find my red skirt as it will match S's shirt super awesome x1000.

Christmas is starting to stress me out. When having to choose between paying bills and getting gifts, bills are winning at the moment. I get a bonus from work but not until December 22. Eek. The kids' main Santa gift is taken care of though, so the grownups can wait till the 22 no problem.

I have a big roast in the oven with chorizo and potatoes in a hot tomato sauce. I know it sounds weird but trust me... it's soo soo soo delicious. Oh hey cousin Lo do you want a jar of my dad's pepper sauce? The stuff we put in roasts etc? Let me know I'll keep you a couple jars!

Now on to more silly things - should I paint my nails? They're too small and I can't afford a full on manicure at the moment, but I do have home stuff and have done them often and long enough to know exactly how to make them look pretty in spite of their smallness. I'm thinking I should.

Wow. Sometimes vanity just up and creeps up on me. It bugs me out, man.

Hmm, auto-fill tells me I've already used the above subject line. Watch me give a darn.

Today is my cousin's birthday, so happy birthday Stolenswan! There's a link to her blog on the right over there. (Stick a Fork in Me).

I don't want to.

Snow is piling up and piling up and piling up. Stupid snow. Grrr.

The kids are happy about it though.

We all have appointments for hair cuts on Friday. S actually booked them which could just knock me over with a feather. I must remind him to take his suit to the dry-cleaner if he wants it done for Friday.

Christmas party this weekend. I'm actually looking forward to it, and hoping not to make an absolute git of myself once again by getting drunk on 3 bottles of wine and having to hold the wall up by the end of the night. ME is actually hoping I do so, as she heard all about it from JG last year and she being pregnant (!!! I know! this makes FIVE! FIVE children!) she will be sober and able to witness my ridiculousness firsthand.

Ok. I don't have anything else to report as I now have to trudge my way to work. Bleh.

Did I mention I hate snow?

Tonight was last meeting for yr 2006 for parent council. It was also the Brownies Christmas party for the whole lot of them. S was working afternoons this week; I tossed a coin. Council won, as I slacked off from the last 2 meetings in deference to Brownies. Besides, there's another party next week for them with just their unit. I doubt C will be very much deprived. The kids went to my sisterinlaw's to be babysat while I went to the meeting.

As a treat for bringing home spectacular report cards, the kids got to choose supper tonight. Wendy's it is then. However the guy totally forgot C's fries which upset her but sisterinlaw to the rescue, she made some up in the oven for her.

There was a pretty big accident on one of the streets on my way to sisterinlaw's from Wendy's - I hate seeing all the flashing lights and firetrucks come zooming by. It just makes my heart lurch like you wouldn't believe.

There's a parent at our school who is incredibly ill right now. We're talking terminal, may not live to see Christmas type ill. I used to work with her husband and I'm just devastated for him, because I know how important his wife is to him.


My thoughts are all disjointed tonight because I have a bunch of parent council crap running around in there.

Apparently one of the political platforms of the upcoming Provincial election in October is the disintegration of the separate school board and having one, faithless school program across the board. Some believe even if there was just an "all faith" sort of school, this would be more acceptable than abolishing religion in the classroom altogether. The platform against the separatist ideal that comes part and parcel with Catholic education is of course smattered with half-truths, but it also has some very good points. Weighing in the pros and cons though, even if I wasn't Catholic, I would rather my kids go to Catholic school - in general it teaches them things that just aren't provided in a public system, and if some have their way will never be provided. Faith is important but along with that comes the typical social mores and graces that are extremely lacking in modern society - compassion, kindness, respect, et al. S is not Catholic in the least and even he was all for signing them up.

I don't know. It will prove to be a *very* interesting debate.

Blah di blah blah. I think the playground fundraising crap is almost complete. Which will just lead to future fundraising and budgeting debates. I keep reminding everyone that my job as treasurer is volunteer-based and requires me to do nothing further than disburse and deposit. If they want sound financial advice I am not available for comment; anything I would suggest would be rebuked anyway... or maybe not. The tides seem to be turning council-wise, with more parents of young children showing up and less "old guard". I'm hoping this establishes a trend of tossing out old systems and looking forward to new ways of improving things, but I won't hold my breath.

Ok enough typing for me. All you fuckers that aren't returning my emails - boo to you. Those of you who are going crazy at work trying to put out fires, or vacationing, have reprieve from my booing. Which is pretty much everyone probably.

Ok. Um. Also would miss bagohammers please provide me with Suzuki phone number? I seem to have lost that info - I know it was published in the newsgroup, but I did a massive cleanout of mail the other day. I suppose I could just email you to ask but I'm too lazy to open my email client. It's been that kind of day.

Woke up to SNOW! And the kids were EXCITED! Because LOOK MOM, SNOW!

You know why I was excited? Because my car was in the garage and I didn't have to clean it up or heat it up. Bwahaha! I'm very, very glad that my hubby [who I am from this point forward going to label just "S" for his name rather than SO which initially meant "Significant Other" (we've been married six years, I think the term has outgrown itself by this point no?)] had the foresight to do a major clean-out of the garage in October so we could fit the car in it.

Mmmm, cappuccino. It's cold outside and nothing tastes better than that first warm drink of winter. The kids are hella excited at the prospect of having hot chocolate every afternoon now. That's their favorite part about getting kicked into the backyard to play - the coming in to warm cocoa with marshmallows.

My sisterinlaw loaned out Donkey Konga to us with a couple sets of bongo-drum-controllers. So I played it for a couple of hours last night and now my left hand is all seized up from the clapping and slapping the drums viciously to prove to S I could out-drum him to "All The Small Things". It was that or "Hungarian Dance #5 in G Minor". I kicked his ass six ways to Sunday. Man has no rhythm. "Turkish March" was surprisingly easy for me too. The only thing that gave me lots of grief was the Zelda medley.

Friday I had a gathering in my home for that book club thing I'm in. It was the Christmas gathering so we had a gift exchange. The girl who got my name got me spa stuff, whee! I'm actually excited about that because it's all vanilla scented which I actually like, plus I'm out of bath stuff anyway. Nothing is better for relaxation to me than a nice hot bath with a book and a glass of something, whether it be wine or water or whatever. It makes me feel all peaceful and sleepy.

The goodies exchange was awesome and I came home with lots of treats on Friday which were put to good use when the ladies came over. We had a potluck so I supplied dessert (naturally) and everyone brought delicious things.

Um. I had more to say but suddenly I'm sleepy and noticed I have dishes to do. Yuck.

Thoughts are going to be a bit disjointed here; I'm still half-asleep.

My dreams keep creeping into me and making me wake up either sad, or disturbed, or more often than not both. What is bothersome about them is, I don't usually tend to have persistent dreams unless I'm supposed to learn or do something. Echoes of things from my past are coming up and I don't know what to do with them.

Someone throw me a lifeline.

The Santa parade is today; we're still waffling over whether or not we'll go.

SO made breakfast this morning, and it was good as usual. I made a pot of Serendipitea, and it was better.

I need a jolt of sorts to wake me up - except I'm afraid to ask the universe - be careful what you wish for, right?

We took my brotherlinaw out yesterday to buy a new suit jacket & shirt & tie for the upcoming Christmas party. His new girlfriend K is a bit of a stickler for fashion and brotherinlaw is pretty clueless. He was happy for the help. SO was a bit grumpy because as a result, brotherinlaw got the very shirt that SO was hoping to get. This wouldn't matter except they work for the same company and SO doesn't want them going as "twins".

I finally got the damn tarts made. the edges on my last two batches were a little burny but guess who doesn't care? i just trimmed the burny parts off.

I started this blog at 8:30 am. I only just got home now to finish it. BLeh.

I have Boney M trilling in my brain right now. Eesh.

I've baked the first two of what looks like is going to be about 5 trays of buttertart squares for the Christmas treat exchange at work. I may never be able to look another buttertart square in the face... doubtful though. I do love those things. What will happen though is any leftovers I have will have to be disbursed among friends. Any takers?

K's French teacher approached my MIL and went on about how phenomenal K is at languages and how quickly he's picked up French. Make me crow? Yes indeedy.

SO is hot for Wii. It's too bad Wii keeps eluding him. (note: edited this after the fact. Initially I had written "alluding". Damn you, internet. You are destroying my spelling and grammar, little by little.) I *told* him to pre-order. Men never listen, do they? Unless they're getting a suggestion from another man. That's a different story.

For instance, we've started working on our basement. There have already been several times where I've made a suggestion or told him we have to do something because of safety codes, and he totally blows it off. Right. Because helping my Dad build every damn basement in every house we ever owned, plumbing electrical and everything, from measuring to going to the suppliers to haggling for better prices to measuring twice, cutting once, makes me less qualified than SO who has never built anything that wasn't somehow configured electronically (read: computer geek). Then JG will go ahead and make the same damn suggestion and SO will be all "Oh yeah, that makes total sense man. I can see how it would be a bad idea to leave the stairs open-concept instead of putting a railing in. We do have a six-year old monkey after all." WHAT? That's right son. JG is actually telling him the same things, and getting a very different response than I am.

I'm not bitter. I promise.

Rrrr I have an itchy foot and it won't go away. I'm sure you all needed to know that.

Sisinlaw is getting not one but two kittens. C is very happy about this - she loves kitties and is dying to meet them so she can spoil them.

Brotherinlaw is getting along smashingly with his new girlfriend, so hurrah! I'm so happy for him. Even if things don't work out in the end, at least now he knows he can attract a sane, happy girl with a good sense of humor and little to no baggage. Instead of the alternative, which believe me I could fill a book about.

Nothing more to report.

Plum plum!

I think I need a break.

I have a lot of crap going on in a very small space of time , and things are piling up, and I feel like I'm caving in the middle. But oh well right?

I got cornered into participating in a Christmas sweets exchange at work. This means I now have to make 84 of something. I had offered buttertart squares so I'm thinking, hmm. That's not so bad I can cook two large trays at once and be done with it. Thank God I didn't offer up something like cookies or somesuch. Bleh.

I was going to bake tonight but my get up and go just got up and went. I have no energy whatsoever from all the lack of sleep.

Speaking of sleep - I have been having very, very weird dreams. Here's the thing. Every night it is the same dream, but features a different person. Each time the person goes through the same motions, asks me the same questions, answers the same way. It is just the person interacting with me that changes. First the person was someone I hadn't spoken to in 15 years, then someone I hadn't spoken to in 10 years, then someone I hadn't spoken to in 5. I'm not sure why... and each time, I found it harder and harder to refuse what they were asking of me. I don't quite feel right about jotting down all the particulars here. Needless to say, I'm a little disturbed about the whole thing. Waking up felt like having to pull myself up from a deep ocean. I haven't dreamt so deep in a very long time. I always end up waking up feeling exhausted and not rested at all.

There was a Mom-to-Mom sale on Saturday that I participated in. It wasn't so bad - I made 40 bucks out of the deal and got rid of some stuff we don't need anymore. The remainder went to House of Blessing. Hammer organized the whole damn thing and I give her lots of props for that - a lot of work with little payoff. Her daughter played violin with her group, they did pretty fabulously. C has mentioned several times now she wants to start violin. I told her if she was serious about it, we would discuss it in the New Year but for now let's just think it over. I told her if we were going to invest our time and money into this, she had to prove she would also invest her time, and stick to it. I explained it will be hard at first but if she stuck to it the rewards would be great. She's going to mull that over. I'm willing to back her on this but I want to make sure she understands what she is getting into. K wants to start playing piano again - he really liked the lessons when we went but frankly it was a bit of a drive, we were going out of town to get him lessons. I'm going to look into what is available in town maybe. Both my kids have music in their hearts and sing all damn day when they're home. It's only natural - my grandfather was a folk singer, as was my aunt, and my father when he was a kid for that matter. I took all kinds of music lessons when I was younger. It's in the blood.

Blah blah blah. I do carry on about nothing. I'm going to go soak in the tub and try not to fall asleep - this may require doing logic puzzles while soaking or somesuch.

I'm working 12-8 this Monday to Wednesday, my regular shift Thursday, and if it gets approved I'll be off on Friday. SO is off on Friday so it would be a great opportunity to do some shopping for the kidlets.

Whoops, look at the time. Gotta go.

So Hollaback Girl came on the radio on our way to SO's company kids Christmas party today. Of course, the radio bleeps out a certain word. C doesn't seem to notice and sings it as "ship". Haha! The S. S. Bananas!

The kids got nice gifts - each of them got a movie from "Santa" and were very pleased.

Just got off the phone with my brother in law, who was reporting the latest on his new love interest (thanks to me; I am totally taking responsibility for this) with whom he is getting along fabulously and even invited to the Christmas party at his workplace (which is same as SO's workplace - this works out nicely as at least the girl will know a couple of people there instead of a room full of strangers). I'm very happy for him and he sounds pretty content, so hooray!

Um. I had more to say but I'm pretty tired. I worked 12-8 on Friday and do it again for M-W this week, covering someone who is off on sick leave. Thankfully SO is on days this week - that was the only reason why I agreed to do it, at least I knew one of us would be home with the kids for dinner/bedtime routines, you know? Don't know how the Brownies thing is going to fly this week. I'll probably get the car to SO during my lunch break at work and he can take C, otherwise she might miss it this week. We'll have to see.

Ok, I'm going to go watch a movie and knit or something.

I caved and put Elvis in. Just for the one song. Then we put on How the Grinch Stole Christmas and decorated the tree. The kids spend hours figuring out where to place each ornament and the end result is a chaotic masterpiece that would give my mother conniptions but that I absolutely love.



There are a few questionable items on the tree, including a few fake little birdies that I have no doubt the cat will annihilate once she discovers them.



I also put up ten thousand knick-knacks. Here are a few of the ones I mentioned in my previous post, which shall go to the highest bidder or whoever is willing to take them for FREE.



I really need to get a new memory card and decent batteries for my digital camera. This taking photos with my phone thing is for the birds. But it will do for now.

Time to get the kidlets off to school. I may post more later - I'm not sure.

So I caved last night and started the Christmas decorating. I had been feeling blue (welcome back, PMS. I had forgotten ye) and decided to jazz the place up.

Here's something I learned. I. Fucking. Hate. Knick-knacks. My MIL has given me more useless Christmas knick-knacks than everyone else I know combined. I have no idea where to put half this crap and the Salvation Army is the answer for most of it. There are one or two pieces I do truly love - the Nativity scene, for instance. Most of it though is little china figurines of carolers and kids frolicking in the snow and all that rot. I've never expressed an interest in knick-knacks, have in fact pointed out how useless they mostly are many many times; and I think she was downright insulted when last year I finally voiced my opinion around the October mark in that I had more than I knew what to do with and felt that I had plenty more than was needed. Hint, bloody, hint. My FIL was also there and I think he talked her out of future purchases - however she trumped us both by buying me Christmas Tree decorations instead. Which, by the by, I also have a metric fuckton's worth. Both my and SO's mother drive me nuts in this manner - they just keep trying to dump on us all the stuff they don't want anymore. Listen, if you don't want it, what makes you think I will??? Drives me batty. Honest to Pete.

In any case, I got the tree up and put the lights around it while the kids were in bed. That way, they don't have to wait very impatiently while mother scratches her arms off installing limbs and curses under her breath testing tree lights. When they come home from school we can just get things going proper. I may or may not break out the Elvis tunes. Listening to Elvis belt out "Blue Christmas" is synonymous with the season for me. I am determined to have a happy holiday this year - although a little bittersweet as my parents have decided to vacate the country in favor of warmer climes. My mother is going to visit the island she was born on, a place she literally hasn't been in 50 years. Then they're going to mainland Portugal to celebrate the New Year. I'm happy for them but at the same time - it's going to make the holiday feel a little empty.

Ok enough mood swings for one post, no?

Am I crazy to start putting the decorations up already?

I woke up to Jimmy Eat World blaring out of SO's clock radio. Startled the bejesus out of me and SO. SO managed to get back to sleep no problem though.

I baked like the Dickens on Sunday. The results were very good and I'll be lucky if it makes it past Wednesday. Mostly the reason for baking was that C's group in Brownies was responsible for goodies for tonight's initiation celebration of the new girls in Brownies. C is sponsoring none other than her nemesis from last year-turned-friend, E. I'm glad the girls managed to sort things out. It's amazing what a summer can do. I have also noticed though that C seems a lot more confident this year. I have no idea what was the catalyst for change but I like it.

I can't believe Christmas is a little over a month away. I feel so ill-prepared. Usually by now I have over half my Christmas shopping done. Not so this year, I'm really slacking for some reason. Oh well I'm sure it will all go well.

Went out for brunch/lunch with Sir T yesterday as it was my day off and the alternative was watching SO sleep on the couch all day getting his energy up for afternoon shift. We went to the new Indian restaurant and I got the tandoori which was pretty good but not as "extremely spicy" as the menu would have you believe. Soooo much food though, I was stuffed. Nice restaurant though and you definitely get your money's worth. I hope it manages to stay in business; it would be a shame to see it go in a world surrounded by ten thousand italian and chain-type restaurants.

This weekend my little cousin is turning 3. We were invited to her birthday party. At first my Aunt E was a little shy about asking - she figured an 8 yr old and 6 yr old wouldn't be interested in a toddler bash - but C & K just absolutely adore their little cousin and jumped at the chance to go. So that's Saturday. On Sunday it's SO's company party for the kids. They're having it at McCully's - pity about the lack of snow but I'll be honest, I'm really happy that there isn't any snow so far.

SO's company Christmas party is coming up December 9. I'm waffling about getting something new to wear or just digging something out of the closet, trying on ten different things and then going with the first thing I put on. The whole process of shopping for a new dress this time of year is a rather depressing one - the stuff I'd really love to wear is usually made for people size zero and under, or will cost me about half a mortgage payment. I could just say toss it and sew my own. Don't think I'm not tempted! I'm just such a novice at the sewing thing I'm scared to fuck it all up royally and be left with a mess of cloth that may or may not resemble something that can be worn.

Ok I need a cappucino or something. Blar blar blar.

Is it sad that I mostly want one of these for the cool container?

I forgot to mention in my previous post... our building got evacuated around 1 pm yesterday due to something to do with air quality issues - it's a long story but I'm not supposed to say more than that. All the other departments got to go home but not ours - we just got moved to the building downtown and hooked up there so we could still answer calls. Most calls we got were people that were sympathetic but a lot of them were also angry - what do I mean, we can't transfer funds to them? What do I mean, everyone got sent home? What do I mean, emergency evacuation? Why can't I just do it then? Why can't I just do it then? Why can't I just do it then?

Bleh.

Ok first off? What the hell, blogger. What the freaking hell. It took me seventy times to post this stupid thing.

I'm actually really sad to learn Jack Palance died.

My first actual exposure to him was when he hosted the television show "Ripley's Believe it or Not"... I've liked him in everything I've seen him in.

Today is remembrance day. Last year I posted a really cheesy poem I had written when I was twelve or so. This year I don't really feel up to doing anything but lying under the covers and crying myself to sleep. I have some very mixed feelings about this day, most that I would not care to divulge to the general public.

I just keep reminding myself of two very good things tied to this day - the day SO asked me to marry him, and the day I found out I was pregnant with K. It mostly drowns out all the bad things. Mostly.

I am itching to put the Christmas tree up. If anything it will keep me occupied, plus make the kids happy. I spent most of my morning reorganizing my scrapbooking supplies and cleaning out underneath the computer desk - talk about a scary chore.

C had a sleepover with her Brownies group last night. She had a ton of fun and I am very glad I had the foresight to bring our two big blowup mattresses - most of the girls only came with sleeping bags. C's friend Z ended up in a different room so I was doubly glad bringing both - that way both got to sleep in comfort even if they couldn't be roomies.

C said to me this morning that this has been her best week ever. She has been all smiles all week and I have to tell you - it's like walking into sunshine. It just brightens me up like anything. K enjoyed having me all to himself last night. We watched A Series of Unfortunate Events curled up under a blanket eating chips and yammering. I am soaking up the cuddle time when I can; before I know it he won't want my company anymore. The fickleness of adolescence shall soon descend upon both my kidlets, so while I'm still the best smartest coolest person in the world I take it all in. Soon enough I'll be a know-nothing jerk who is like, totally unfair man.

Ok enough procrastinating. Time to go seize the day or something.

Tonight was Best of the Best, a sort of employee appreciation night wherein we nominate and celebrate our fellow employees who provide outstanding service. It's a huge to-do and they usually get some awesome entertainment. This year they had some players from Second City come to entertain us, it was hilarious and wonderful. Winners get their names put into a draw to win a free trip to Mexico. This is a huge deal and 15 people out of all the areas in Canada win. We managed to have two winners from our building - one from my department! She was so shocked... So anyway. This year it was at the Arden and the food was actually really good and hooray for free booze! I love my job. It was a nice evening. The kids were at my in-laws' for the night as SO had to work afternoons this week.

I have Monday off, that's another perk for working for a financial type place. Gov't holidays.


The kids' school photos look hella awesome this year, but only digs it in my brain a little deeper that they are growing so fast...

Ok time to put some groceries away and stuff.

Since some are probably wondering - the court thing went ok. Charges were reduced considerably but the fine remains intact.

Halloween came and went with a bang and a whimper. Our house managed to pull through all the sickness but not without me missing a scandalous amount of work last week. It is frustrating in some ways but I'll get over it well enough.

My court date is tomorrow and I am a bit nervous as I've never been up in front of The Man before. I'm sure it will be fine though.

Went to see my friend's boyfriend's band play at Molly Bloom's on Saturday night and brought the brother in law along to meed another friend's sister. They seemed to like each other well enough but as brotherinlaw said, it was a bit awkward because he felt like all eyes were on them. He said now that he's met her though he'd like to call her up and actually talk without the social awkwardness having just met and etc. Anyway. We'll see how that goes.

Anyhow the band was fabulous and the singer who happens to be my friend's boyfriend has an excellent vocal range. They played original material as well as covering other tunes. What is funny? Funny is already knowing the singer because he's the son of this Portuguese couple my parents used to hang out with all the time when I was in high school. Our mutual parents once tried setting me up with his brother, who was 5 years my senior, so yeah. Y'all can guess how THAT went. I was fifteen the guy was twenty. There was no way it was going to work. Now the guy works for NATO or somesuch and lives in Switzerland. Crazy shit man.

This whole being on birth control thing is still weird. I keep remembering I have to take them at weird hours. It's like this - because I am not choosing to be on them for a specific purpose, I've been just terrible about remembering them. When I was taking them for a specific reason, I was like clockwork, very vigilant.

Ok. I just stared blankly at nothing for three minutes. A clear sign I am ready to take on the day.

Things have been strained here the past few days. Sickness rampant in C and I and now it looks like SO is getting it - K seems to be unaffected at present but I'm sitting here waiting with baited breath. C seemed to be getting better yesterday then she woke me up at 3 am crying because she got sick again. Which in turn is making my stomach churn.

I was hoping that all the damn disinfecting I'd done around the house yesterday would keep the pesky germs from attacking again but no such luck. Ooog. Time to go take a shower and hope my stomach stops, and hope her stomach stops, and hope I don't have to miss yet another day of work to take care of one or both or all of us.

So I managed to get myself suckered into working until 8 pm tonight. Ugh. So. So. Tired.

But it makes up for being off on Friday, so all is well.

Memo to self: court date Nov. 7

While I'm too tired to move, I'm also wide awake mentally. I hate that feeling.

I'm almost done C's hat - it looks gorgeous if I may say so. I will post results when complete. My sisterinlaw has requested one using shades of green - I'm actually pretty excited about it.

MIL wants me to knit some mittens for her mom for Christmas, which is fine, but I'm thinking what's the point? She's never out in the winter. But I'll do it because I think her mom deserves the little things to make her happy since she doesn't have very much to be happy about for the most part. There is a very long, very convoluted story behind that, that I am not at liberty to disclose since it is skeletons from a family not my own, and I have my own skeletons to deal with, why borrow someone else's?

Maybe I should be a skeleton for Hallowe'en. Yes I still haven't got a costume. Yes I totally suck this year. What's wrong with me? I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY and yet I am so blase this year. It sucks!

Ok, back to knitting.

Reformat status: VICTORY!

It was totally painless save for a bit of an issue updating my network adapter driver, as I had momentarily misplaced the backup disk. But all is well and we are up and running and in business again.

SO bought a George Foreman griddle type thing that lets you fry up delicious breakfast items all on one pan. So needless to say I got spoiled for breakfast. Bwaha! I love it.

The weather won't make up its mind lately - snowy then sunny then windy then all three. Bleh. It makes it hard to dress the kids in the morning.

Ok I'm off to reinstall games etc. since I was primarily focused on getting the machine back up to par.

Gone reformattin'. See you on the flipside, if all goes well.

If you don't know who Goldfrapp is - go find out.

Anyway. My PAR (employee review thinger) was this week (finally!) and I did excellent and they agreed with my self-assessment in that I am FABULOUS and hah! So anyway. Yes. Good PAR.

JG came over tonight and yapped in the garage with SO for most of the evening. Then I made pasta and he watched me carefully and wrote it down. He asked me for feedback on things he may have missed, then asked me how to make gravy, then asked me how I make that Portuguese stew I make, then wrote down as much as he could. See, he is moving in with ME come December, and figures he needs to be the cook since she doesn't really. I mean she can cook but she doesn't really like to, and he wants to, so it's all good.

My head sort of aches now because I was sitting in the garage with them and JG is a chain smoker when he gets talking, and since I quit back in - uh - I can't remember. A long time ago. I find it really hurts me head.

Tomorrow SO has declared it is going to be a boys' night in, in which they drink beer and order chicken wings and yap in our garage till all hours. I can't complain really, since the kids will be at the in-laws' house. But now I'm thinking, "what am I going to do to get myself out of the house?" So if you have any suggestions or wanna do something - call my cell, otherwise I'll be roaming around aimlessly in search of respite. Even if the kids end up staying home, SO will be home with them and they'll be safe in bed by the time the boys get their thing going.

Not that I don't enjoy spending time with SO and his buddies - I do. I'm just not in the mood for them right now.

Ok. Time to go resume my knitting project for C's hat and watch pointless films. Maybe finish up school council banking.

Whew. Thank God all that self-absorbed sadness decided to take a hike.

For reasons I'm not comfortable disclosing at this point, this is a really hard time of year for me, and I sometimes have to fight the sadness in favor of cheerful, but as long as I surround myself with positivity things seem to go ok. Last night positivity meant watching old episodes of The Family Guy. Also talking to a friend after picking C up from Brownies was nice - most of the people in my life are drama mamas and that's fine and all, but sometimes you need a break from it and just want to natter about whatevers and whosits as opposed to the "oh em gee I hate so and so they did xyz insignificant thing that just drove me up the bend".

Another major contributor to the yucky feelings were probably due to the fact that the gynecologist has now put me on birth control. Looks like the progesterone levels in my body were making it all crazy and stuff. As in, the ovaries refusing to let go of the eggs they were producing, acne forming, hair being courser/thicker, the migraines, the crazy menstrual cycles, the issues with my breasts, etc etc. So since the ovaries weren't letting go of the eggs, these eggs accumulated over time and caused all those follicular cysts that have been causing me grief. Since the ovaries never released eggs, the uterus didn't know it was supposed to shed anything - it just kept waiting patiently for the egg to drop. Eventually my body would overload and just shed it all at once - thank you progestrone. The doctor went through my entire medical history and basically said that I've likely had this problem all my life, and he was amazed I had two kids. Then we went on to discuss the various points in my life that I was actually on birth control. Oh boy did the fun start then.

I am today defining irony in this manner: had I not been on birth control when I was seeing SO, I probably would not have gotten pregnant at all. Both of my children are indeed birth control babies. There we were, thinking we were all responsible and shit, and basically, I was facilitating my body to do what it should have done normally anyway. The doctor said however that this was probably likely due to the type of birth control I was on, that caused my hormonal levels to be at just the right point. And since my pituitary adenoma was also likely a contributor - fighting back at the birth control, making me prime for fertilization - the chances of that being the issue now are much slimmer, as my pituitary seems to be attacking the other adrenals these days anyway.

Needless to say, I'm really really glad SO had a vasectomy. So um. Sorry for the up close and personal. But you know. Inquiring minds, et al.

K wore his Jayne hat with pride today, citing that it matched his coat perfectly, and nobody else on the playground would have one. C wants one but not in the crazy orange and yellow and redness - she wants one in blue tones. So I went to Giant Tiger and picked up some cheap yarn (no sense in getting wool when acrylic will do and is just as warm) so tonight I start making a blue Jayne hat.

Well. I think that's enough update for now, hmm?

Anniversary was good, and something I've chosen not to discuss on the internet.

Yesterday I got to sleep in, then headed to the inlaws' home for my brother in law's belated birthday dinner. My MIL wasn't there of course so guess who got most of the food done by the time she actually managed to show up? Yeah.

It was chinese food - brotherinlaw's favorite food. I managed to convince her to oven bake some of it. I hate most deep-fried food, mostly because it just sits like lead in my belly. Not to mention it makes my clothes smell like a deep fryer. Ugh. But everyone seemed to love the food so hooray.

Sisterinlaw brought over her suicidal friend's daughter to the birthday, a move which baffled me but I couldn't be bothered to bring it up at the time. Mostly yesterday I hid in a spare room and talked with her about everything else. She did mention that dude was not allowed to have his daughter unsupervised, and had moved back home to facilitate this. Then she mentioned she had another awkward moment over the weekend with another male friend of hers. I told her she needed a red herring of sorts - did she happen to know any gay men who were game in pretending to be her lover? At least if she had "someone" it would deter others from confessing their undying love every other weekend.

I'm just not shaking off this sad stuff. Somebody give me a reason to laugh already.

Happy annivesary darling.

I really love the Gary Jules cover of Mad World.

As much as Smallville irritates the hell out of me (The Outer Limits meets Melrose Place. Niiiice. Plus I probably wouldn't be so irked by it if I weren't forcefed every episode back to back a la clockwork orange) I do have to say they have the best music. It's like the producers are channeling Quentin Tarantino - they know what songs are going to give the right feel to a scene.

I'm just mentioning Smallville because that's where I first heard the cover.

I'm just babbling now. I've had a very long week. Today I do my PAR interview with my boss. Guh. I'm just not in the mood for this.

This Saturday is my six yr anniversary. Well, six years married, anyhow. We are going out for dinner and all that jazz, which is fine but I just. I just feel like huddling under blankets and watching a sad movie and letting him play with my hair until I fall asleep. Nothing more. It's true, what I was told once, that sometimes being with me is like courting sadness. That mantle on my shoulders can get pretty heavy.

I'm not being all drama-queen woe-is-me here. There are things in my life and about my life that are large contributors to my sadness. For the most part I just shrug it off, and most people that know me in general can attest that I'm normally a happy go lucky jokester. In all honesty I'm pretty selective about who I allow to witness me when I'm feeling like this - I'm good about putting the happy on in public especially. That stems from years and years and years of playing "everything's perfect" in my household. I don't know if it's the European upbringing or something - more than likely though. You know, that whole "Oh my what will the neighbors think" thing.

At some point I will write about my phone conversation with the prosecutor, the extra-long appointment at the gynecologist, and spending 2.5 hrs on the phone with a friend who kept asking me for my honest opinion and then kept pestering me because I was giving her my honest opinion instead of the answer she wanted to hear. But right now I am just going to listen to sad music and try and get it out of my system before heading for work.

No reason for the title, just had the tune in my head.

So. The courthouse called today but unfortunately I didn't get the guy's message until he had already left for the day. So my morning agenda has calling him back on the top of the list. I will let you know how it goes.

Wednesday I have off - time to be spent going to see gynecologists and etc.

Talked w/sir T on the phone, which is always interesting banter at the very least. Discussed current situation w/SIL. Considered possibility of gathering forces and getting a group to play board games or whatever, however scheduling is becoming a quick nightmare. Welcome to the Christmas season (yes already).

Which reminds me, I need to call a few places about reservations for the employee Christmas party. Yes I got suckered into planning it. Hush.

Today was a day from hell at work, I had a terrible migraine and every second call involved something complex that required some investigation and callbacks. Bleh.

Bags under my eyes are only slightly smaller - I really need to do something about that not sleeping thing.

Dead tired
Originally uploaded by sadsilliness.

My sistern in law came over yesterday just a mess. A friend of hers decided to attempt suicide, shortly after she told him they could only ever "just be friends". She feels terrible of course and blames herself - understandably, as her ex boyfriend killed himself a couple of years ago. She feels at fault and is scared of relationships now.

I jokingly told her that her only option now was to become a monk. She was grateful that I was home as I provide good distractions - I know exactly how she is and know that what she didn't need was someone going "oh honey boo hoo that's right cry it out". I mean I let her cry a little and hugged and hugged her like the Dickens, but then I straightened her up and poured her some wine. We made brownies and then she stayed for supper. We talked about whatnots and nothings and I made her laugh and bit back my anger at that selfish boy who made an attempt on his life in so selfish a gesture it makes me absolutely sick to think about it.

This guy has a daughter who is barely three. He apparently has been in love with my sisterinlaw since he met her years ago in high school. She and he lost track of each other, then started hanging out recently. On my sisterinlaw's part there were no feelings, she made no advances, there was no physical aspect to the relationship that would allow for these emotions of his to give way. Apparently he was being treated for depression and some other thing. She and he had an argument wherein she told him explicity and firmly that she did not feel about him in any sort of romantic/sexual way and she never could. She thought they were friends and she was sorry if he ever thought there could be anything else, but she thought she had made herself pretty clear. After she left apparently he took all his medication at once. He is now at the hospital, incoherent and in restraints. Something inside of him snapped and I told my sisterinlaw - she cannot control these things. She has no control over what he does to himself, no more than he could control her feelings. The fact that he KNEW exactly what she has gone through, KNEW how much she went through to get over blaming herself about her ex-boyfriend's suicide, makes it all the worse and makes what he did absolutely pathetic and terrible.

My sisterinlaw's culpability in this is nonexistant, but that is not how she feels at this point in time. In any case, we then went to the pharmacy and got hair dye and dyed her hair. We didn't have enough dye though so we had to go back a second time. The first adventure to the pharmacy resulted in my bumping into someone I hadn't seen in years, and this person I saw has this way about them that causes my heart to stop and I never know what to do. I don't know where to put my hands and where to look or how to be. I can't explain why this happens to me whenever I encounter this person - it just does, and it always leaves me reeling as though I'd been struck by cold water.

I did my best to shake it off though, as I had a mission in keeping my sisterinlaw company. She could tell something was off though. It didn't matter, I managed to cheer her up a bit and she went home in much better spirits than when she first arrived.

I have not slept much in the past while and you can tell. Photo evidence above indicates that the baggage on my eyes could not get any lower if it tried. Any remedies for insomnia are appreciated, but keep in mind I refuse to take sleeping pills and gave up on counting sheep long ago.

Ran into someone I didn't expect to and felt so many confusing and conflicting emotions my heart stopped.

I don't really want to elaborate; just wanted to put that into the ether. How can this happen still? It just...

Cappucino and Maltesers... breakfast of champions!
Originally uploaded by sadsillyness.

Cappucino and Maltesers... breakfast of champions!

Bwahaha. I dropped the kids off at school, picked up funds to be deposited into the council account, and came home and had evil breakfast. Photo evidence shown above.

I remember when I was a kid I couldn't wait until I was grown up so I could have ice cream for breakfast if I wanted, etc. Then I actually became a grownup and felt the need for things like eggs and toast and whatnot. But every once in a while I indulge that little girl in me clamoring for bad non-breakfasty things.

The snow is still lightly on the ground. We'll see if it lasts the weekend.

Oooooo it's Friday the thirteenth! I would be worried if I were into that superstitious mumbo-jumbo. It's also the day after Alistair Crowley's birthday. It's also the day that Lemony Snicket finally ends the Beaudelaire children's saga. I'm most excited about that last bit of information.

I ordered books one through ten from C's scholastic order, and eagerly anticipate their arrival. Only 30 bucks for all ten books! Talk about steal. I don't care if they're paperback. I just saved a kajillion dollars without even trying. Now I only have to buy 11 to 13 (and probably also the Beatrice Letters). The nice thing is C is just about getting to the age where she would absolutely love these books.

I am so glad my kids are bookworms. In the age of electronics, it's tough competition against television and video games. Don't get me wrong - my kids love those things too. Everything in moderation, right? But they will plunk down and read/be read to for hours and hours without getting bored.

The auditors are gone from work hurrah! From the email from my boss it looks like they were impressed. Now we are on to employee review time - interviews etc. I'm a little nervous as this is my first formal review since starting there. I'm sure I'll be fine but there's this stone at the pit of my stomach just agonizing over it.

Ok time to go to the mall and see about some books. This weekend I'm supposed to go to a book club gathering to drink sake, eat sushi and sashami and discuss Memoirs of a Geisha. I absolutely loved the book. The beginning was a little slow - I found the preface would be a turn-off if that was how you were to judge the book. But man oh man. Interesting? You bet your bootiepie.

Ok time to go. Seriously.

Let it Snow!, originally uploaded by sadsillyness.

So we had flurries today after all. I'm very glad I sent the kids with hats and mitts and boots.

Took C to the mall tonight to re-pierce one of her ears. When she got them done initially, one side got pierced crooked and as a result her body rejected it and pushed it out entirely. She's all better now thanks to her bravado and a little emla cream. She's all better now and it was pretty exhausting.

I put in the other earring so that she wasn't lopsided earrings wise. They look nifty and she is very happy with the result. It's given her something to talk about at school that is for sure.

Time to go pretend I'm a bear and hibernate a while on the couch, with some cappucino and a book or movie. I will probably end up watching Aeon Flux for the fifteenth time this week. I cannot help that I am a sap.

Here's hoping the snow goes "poof" and Halloween is warm.

The forecast over the next day or so includes FLURRIES. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Over.

So for the first time since, well to be honest since ever, I took the kids out boot shopping early, in preparation for the impending doom aka Canadian winter. We managed to find boots for K right away at Payless. However, we are now running into a problem with C. She is size 4 generally but to make the boots last we'd have to go 1/2 size to 1 size up. That brings her into ladies sizes. That is fine whatever but most women's boots at payless are for fashion not function, and come with a kickass heel on them. So we tromped through Sears to see if they had any - suuuure they did. For 99 bucks a pair. I'm not about to spend that much on a pair of boots I know that my daughter is going to outgrow in a year. Call me miserly all you like - it just doesn't make sense, fiscally speaking. So we went to my last resort - Zellers. There she hemmed and hawed and tried on fifty bajillion pairs until she finally found a decent, affordable pair of black lace-up boots that will keep her feet warm up to temperatures of 20 below celsius. Hurrah, says I. I still ended up shellng out about 90 bucks total for both of their boots - yowsa. But I know they'll have warm feet and the boots will fit them through the cold season.

So naturally they wanted to wear them this morning. Not only that, they wanted hats and mitts, too. Who was I to argue against that point - it's 4 degrees out there, and the wind is getting mighty chilly. At first I figured "oh boy my kids'll be the only ones decked out at school" but nope, lots of kids were dressed more warmly, except of course for the age 11 and up crowd. They're too cool to be cold.

That's it for today. I mostly just wanted to rant about how friggin expensive women's boots are. I mean it wouldn't be so bad if I could wait until mid-season to catch a sale, but I can't do that in this situation.

So we rescued a pidgeon last night.

On the way to take C to brownies, there it was on the ground, all puffed up and scared but unable to fly away. K & C were pretty upset about it. I promised C that when we were finished dropping her off, K & I would take the pidgeon to the SPCA. We ran into Hammer & her daughter Z on their way to brownies as well, so Hammer K and I ended up performing operation: bird rescue.

I grabbed a bunch of paper towel from the church bathroom when I dropped C off and we picked up mister pidgeon who was docile as docile can be. Hammer bravely held onto the pidgeon as we drove to the SPCA. I would not find out until after the deed was done that she is indeed terrified of birds. She managed to end the adventure unscathed, and all was well. Then we went to the bank to make deposits and while I was waiting for her, Sir T pulled up so I spoke with him for a minute or two before we took off again.

K proclaimed an interest in going to Dollar Giant, and offered to lead the way for Hammer. (I really have to find a better name for Hammer, which I dubbed her as due to the title of her blog.) I ended up buying an air freshener due to the fact that my car now smelled like injured pidgeon, not something too terribly enticing I can assure you.

Then I came home and gabbed with ME for an hour or so, and then called it a night, good deed done and feeling sleepy.

Almost time to take C to brownies tonight. For supper I made chicken balls and home-made sweet n sour sauce. It is hella easy and damn, son. So tasty. When I was pregnant with C I used to have weird food cravings and aversions. One of my favorites that I ate for most of the second trimester involved putting pickles, mayonnaise, and this home made sweet n sour sauce on toast. No joke, I ate that like the dickens. That and bologna sandwiches, which may not seem weird, but considering I absolutely hate most processed meats, it's weird for me.

Wow, that was a strange digression. What was I on about again? Oh, right. Supper. So yeah. chicken balls and pineapple rice and etc. JG came to pick SO up for work and had supper with us. He and ME are looking to move in together come the New Year. This is a big step but hardly surprising - they are pretty happy with each other and it's the next logical move.

Ugh, audit. Still going on this week but the auditor guy isn't so bad. By the time it's done he'll be sick of us though. We chirp the same greeting into the phone ten thousand times. Seriously.

As for the titles lately: I have been using snippets of tunes that are stuck in my head. A rather gauche version of that livejournal thing where you can post what you are currently listening to. Today's title is from a Pulp song, "Like a Friend". I love Pulp. I had this song stuck in my head all day. I don't typically post lyrics but with this one I cannot help myself. Here's the end bit:

You are that last drink I never should have drunk
You are the body hidden in the trunk
You are the habit I can't seem to kick
You are my secrets on the front page every week.
You are the car I never should have bought
You are the train I never should have caught
You are the cut that makes me hide my face
You are the party that makes me feel my age.

Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid
Like a plane I've been told I never should board
like a film that's so bad but
I got to stay 'til the end
Let me tell you now
it's lucky for you that we're friends.

Was up late last night watching Batman Begins w/SO and then Basic on my own. I really enjoyed that movie - for once I actually agree with a film-maker's change in the script in that initially, in the movie Basic it turns out Travolta's character was actually the bad guy. The ending that was re-scripted gives it a better twist.

I lent the movie to my parents and my father actually stayed awake to watch it - a great compliment to Hollywood, who usually inspires snores from him, and mom giving him the synopsis when he wakes up five minutes before the movie should end.

I wish the weather would make up its mind. I also hope it's nice for Halloween. My FIL is taking the kids out trick or treating this year apparently - they had already conspired with him on that take. So I guess I get a break this year. Why am I so pouty about it? Probably because I love this holiday as much as they do, if not more.

Woke up to the cat chirping in my ear. Here's why - the cordless phone was emitting beeps and blips to let us know it was low on the battery. This woke kitty up, who in turn woke me. Seven am and it was dark as night out. When did that happen? Nobody invited old man Winter - tell him to come back later, it's early and we're not prepared!

Time to head for work. Auditors are coming back this week.... *grumblefuck*

Thanksgiving was full of lots of turkey and potatoes and desserts and... well... poker.

Not at the inlaw's today though. At my parents' house last night. I cleaned my family out. My brother had no idea I was a card shark which made winning against him all the more fun.

SO had actually spotted me the 5 bucks to play. The interesting thing is, they don't usually let girls play poker so I was one of those genius ideas dad had to "mix things up, keep it interesting". So there I am, playing on borrowed money, and it ended up just being my brother and me playing it out for about an hour. I finally crushed him like a bug. He had no idea what to do, he was flabberghasted. So of course we went for round two, this time I spotted SO with some from my winnings. I cleaned up the second round as well, and turns out I went home 40 bucks richer. Woohoo!

Because you know. Nothing says Thanksgiving like gambling.

I love gmail because it lets me talk to my friend V who is all the way in the UK. For free. Thank you, internet. Thank you, gmail.

I'm too tired to discuss anything else - due to sleeping issues (no, not again, rather consider it "still"). Also I have the supermario music in my head - the boss monster music, mixed in with the music you get when you go down the tubes.

ba-da ba-da ba-da! ba-da ba-da ba-da!

Still no idea what to be for Halloween so I'll probably cop out and go as a pirate or something easy like that.

Ran into P at EB today who reiterated the need for a bunch of us to get together to play Risk. My October is filling up fast so we shall see.

What should I be for Hallowe'en? A bunch of us were going to go to a dance as the cast of Gilligan's Island, until I discovered the date of said dance was the very same day as our anniversary. While it would be cool and all to canoodle as the Professor and Marianne or whatever, I'd much prefer quiet time with my boy.

However it does not mean I cannot dress up while taking the kidlets on their Spookyween adventures. So. Any ideas? Usually I am full of them but at present I'm drawing a blank, and now is the time I usually begin to prepare for it.

The autumn blues are fast approaching and with each step my heart gets a little heavier, my words a little slower, my thoughts a little lower.

It isn't that I'm one of those people counting down, anticipating, and thus causing it to come. It just... sneaks up on me and creeps into me so slowly that I can scarcely believe it when it hits. I do my best to fight it off, but there you are.

The trouble with this is, in previous jobs I could more or less decrease my exposure to people and let it pass. Where I am working now, there is no break from it. I am more or less entrenched in socialization, in talking talking talking all day. In a way I guess it's good, but in a way it sort of irritates me. I need space. I can't breathe.

I am smart enough to realize it will pass, as all things do; and the winter will put my heart to sleep and my mind will spin like a snowflake and land in the cold and thoughts will freeze up and I will dry up and wait for spring. And spring will come as it always has and the sun will warm me and my mind will wake up and I will feel alive again.

In the meantime, it's me and my sappy prose. Amigos till the end.

I have that Aimee Mann song stuck in my head.

So the audit is going well thus far. The auditor appreciated my taking the time to show him how we process certain aspects of things, he also appreciated my forebearance in answering his questions. He also liked that I tended to anticipate his questions and provide the answers beforehand. Here's hoping it was for the good. My boss was hella curious to see what he asked me about, so I told him, and he looked relieved at my answers, so hooray!

They have this co-appreciation system at work called "applause", which allows you to send words of thanks to your fellow employees for their efforts. The clever thing about this is, every single applause you get goes through your boss, so they can see how often you are recognized for your awesomeness. This helps come employee review time. I am averaging receiving 3 of these a month, which is no small feat for someone as new as I am, and especially working in the department I do, which is mostly about getting complaints, you know?

Parent council meeting at the kids' school tonight was... guh. No words. C had a good night at Brownies although she was a little cowed by the fact that she was the only member of faeries present so she had to sing the faeries song all by herself. She did it by golly though; that's my girl.

SO is watching Lois & Clark in the other room as we speak. I will watch the occasional episode with him, but for the most part I could care less. There's a reason why that show died after its fourth season. Although I found the episode featuring H.G. Wells quite amusing, I must admit.

I just finished of an individual package of Famous Amos cookies all to myself. Ask me if I feel guilty.

My cousin JPk just got engaged - this is exciting news and I am very happy for her.

I'm also very tired so it's time to sign out.

So. Very. Tired.

We're having an audit this week at work - which is fine in and of itself, but considering I've only been there six months, I do feel a little pressured having the auditor more or less hanging over my shoulder all day asking me about processes, and why I do what I do, and what to do when I don't know what to do, and etc.

Also roped myself into doing parent council stuff at my kids' school again this year. What doesn't kill you... certainly doesn't make you breakfast, that's for damn sure.

Mmmm, breakfast.

I had a bagel and strawberries & cream flavored cream cheese this morning. It was a little slice of heaven, as I have not had any substantial breakfast in probably literally a month of Sundays.

Time to get the daughter ready for Brownies & myself ready for council meeting. And probably cook supper somewhere in there. Ugh. ugh.

Ever do a random search on something, and then for whatever reason, came across something/someone you hadn't thought about in a great long while?

That happened to me today, and it brought back this whole flood of thoughts and memories.

Which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't stop me right in my tracks and set my heart apace and make me wonder if I should pursue for more information. Curiosity killed the cat.

Meow.

Why is it when I have a cold, I crave Pop Tarts? This is an oddity I cannot explain even to myself. Odder still is that when I eat one, I then feel very ill over the whole damn thing (but not in that whole "oh I hate myself for eating a Pop Tart bla bla bla" sort of way) and wish I'd never knew Pop Tarts existed. Tricky, tricky. I have decided not to cave and eat one this time. Take that, Pop Tart!

I had like, twenty people tell me on the phone today that I sounded terrible. Well no shit. Really? Because I thought I sounded fine, thank you. Hah. Others complimented the voice for some reason. Ever been hit on by someone over the phone? It's pretty funny, actually. Funnier still when it's a solicitor.

I got a bunch of free samples of things in the mail today, which leads me to believe a friend might have had them sent to me, since I never sign up for that sort of thing. Which is fine but if it increases my intake of junk mail I shall be very put out.

Ok time for rest. My chest feels heavy and my eyes woozy.

So from Smallville-a-thon land we move on to Lois & Clarksville. SO may just drive the fangirlness for Superman right out of me... feh, who am I kidding, right? I've said it tons of times, I love Superman like nobody's business. I love the whole lexicon and ideal enough to defend the recent abomination that Bryan Singer tried his best to save.

My cold is rapidly depleting what little source of energy I have had lately. This should make things interesting this week; paired with this is an appointment with a gynecologist on Wednesday that I now may have to reschedule for erm, natural causes.

I can't believe I just alluded to that on a public blog. Bwaha.

I am rapidly understanding that C is soon going to need a bra. Holy crap. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

Ugh time to go buy some Dayquil or something and face the music. On the schedule for this week is a school council meeting, C has badge night at Brownies, my mom is insisting I take the kids to visit her Wednesday (mom and I are in the 'arguing lots about everything' cycle of our relationship - it actually goes in cycles where we get along great and then can't stand each other. Mostly because I have a mind and my own opinions and my own life and she refuses to recognize that), and I think that's about it... my 6 yr anniversary w/SO is coming up October 21. Technically we've been together a lot longer than that, but by official capacity of the bond of marriage, it's only been six.

Ok seriously time to go.

Home sick today, which makes 2 days in a row that I didn't go in to work. yesterday I was taking care of C who had fallen ill (again). This time not her tummy tho- her neck & chest hurt. Last night K also got sick. So I was back and forth between the two of them while fending off a cold myself.

Also in between I was coerced into making chili for SO - he said with the weather being so dreary and cold, he had a hankering for chili, and would I please please please make some? So of course I obliged. It isn't like it is a gourmet recipe which would take hours of my time anyway, you know?

In any case, I battled a cold as well as took care of my family. Looks like the cold won. I woke up achey and bleh. My chest feels like a wall of bricks is resting on it. K has been crying on and off - overemotional and tired. C is not complaining, just sort of lying limply on the couch.

I'm going to go lie down shortly myself.

Here's hoping everyone has a much better weekend than me. My sisterinlaw & her friend P took this weekend off to celebrate his birthday - if it's anything like Sir T's, I'm sure they'll have a good time and not remember much save for the fact that they had a good time.

Mmmm warm bath may be in order. And large mug of tea.

What do you do to make yourself feel better when you are sick?

So Tokyo Rose is dead.

Most people only know the name from the song by Idle Eyes.

C is really enjoying Brownies - she was practically gushing last night, talking about plans and making new friends and how she got to stay in faeries again this year. I'm very glad she's enjoying it so much.

K was put out at first that she has something to do and he doesn't, but he's also been enjoying having us to himself. Last night it was just he and SO until I got home - went out with Hammer to wander through the new dollar store. I am greatly impressed and actually on my way there to get cheap boxes of Mrs. Field's cookies. I bet the Dollarama is taking a huge hit from it - the store is spacious, has decent merchandise, and is clean, and takes interac/credit/cash. My only true bone of contention with Dollarama is that it is cash only.

People who don't know the joys of dollar stores need to come shopping with me. I find some pretty terrific things when I am of the right mood. Useful things, shiny things, things that make you go "wtf?".

Ok off I go before work starts. Tonight is family bbq night at the school - should be interesting.

I have had a lot going on in my little life over the past few days. For those of you in the know - she seems ok, not sure what the heck happened but I'm thanking God for small miracles and keeping an eye on her in case her condition flips again.

For the record also, and in case you didn't know, my MIL is driving me absofuckinglutely nuts. I cannot begin to express the frustration I've been feeling toward her lately. It is a very long, very boring story and I don't want to get into it. Just saying for the record - she is driving me up the wall.

I need a rest and I feel I haven't had a true rest since yegads, I don't know. A long time. I need me time and I'm not getting it. Oh Angst! Oh Bother!

What I would really love to do is just call in to work, have a long hot bath, wrap myself in a warm robe, and curl up under a blanket and watch crap movies. No interruptions or anything. What I am going to do instead is drag my sorry self out to work, hope the phones actually work today (they were wonky all of yesterday, led to some interesting times let me tell you), and answer calls with patience and not get too cranky when people are ignorant to me all day. They have been lately - it's a cranky time of year in mortgageland, I guess. I don't take it personally but it certainly is taxing on the nerves. One solicitor was very rude however and I told him if he didn't stop I would end the call - well he went off and I hung up. I told my boss about it he said I did the right thing. Some people believe because of their stature they can push you around - well sir I do not pander to that.

Wow looks like I had things to say after all. I just feel all empty and dried up, wordwise.

Also, I'm not the best when it comes to grammar and spelling, but I have to say when I'm reading newsgroups I openly cringe at some people's contributions. It just floors me.

Ok, time to go procrastinate some more before work.

Had a lovely visit with my friend LT this evening, walking along the river with the kids. The kids collected some lovely feathers, among them a blue heron, crow, and cormorant.

It was sketchy at first whether or not we would even have a visit at all - I ended up bringing C home early today because of a tummyache. She seemed to be fine by evening though. I'm thinking maybe growing pains? She's blossoming a little too early for my comfort.

In any case, it was a good visit, as I hadn't seen LT in, oh, 4 years? Something like that.

My head is killing me though.

I'm literally seeing stars as I type this.

Anyway... off to pass out on the couch watching Sin City or something. Maybe I'll watch Mirror Mask - I had actually borrowed it from sisterinlaw for C, as she loves those sorts of movies, and adores Jim Henson films especially (think Dark Crystal, Labyrinth and the like).

Ooo it feels like the headache is starting to go away. Bless you, Advil for migraines!

Tomorrow the kids are going to be at the in-laws' for a sleepover - they had made the plans and all before I even heard of it. So I'll be solitary for the evening - SO is working afternoons this week. Not to worry though, I always have plenty to do and a visit is in the planning.

Now off I go to go do that passing out in front of the telly thing. Woo it's almost Friday!

I have that Kyprios song stuck in my head. It's a catchy beat but kinda sad.

Took the kids to "Take Back the Night" for a bit this evening to support some friends. K wasn't too interested and got antsy way too soon so there was no walking for us. But they made signs and got the picture anyway.

Going to see a dear friend tomorrow morning? evening? Sometime tomorrow anyway. She came up to participate as a speaker for "Take Back the Night" - I kind of feel bad not staying to hear her, but I've heard her before and know what she's on about. She totally understood.

Um. So anyhow. I was going to say something but I got hella sleepy all of the sudden. I'm the boringest person on earth lately when it comes to posting.

ME is trying to convince me to convince SO that we want to join them for all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster this Saturday. Alas, this weekend is plugged full of things, and we promised to take the kids to the fair on Saturday weather permitting. We'll see.

Sunday is my friend's daughter's christening at 1, and then at 4 we have to be at the inlaw's for my sisterinlaw's birthday dinner. I already got sisterinlaw her present (read about waxing escapade on my previous post, possibly the post before that), but I'm making her a CD as well. I have this thing about making CDs. Because I'm a big music dork.

Ok, back at the laundry pile, which I totally neglected last night in favor of a long hot bubble bath and some logic puzzles. Meh, we can't all be perfect right?

I am sleepy but also in pain.

C's first night of Brownies was tonight - she had a really good time and I'm glad I signed her up for a second year. K was a little put out but then enjoyed his time just him and I. We went and visited my parents for a bit, which they also loved. Midweek visits are generally unheard-of come school time, so it was a pleasant surprise for them.

I stayed up late last night watching the brit comedy Absolutely Fabulous, borrowed from my sisterinlaw. I loved French & Saunders, and this was a spoof show put together by Jennifer Saunders. She did not fail me in the hilarity department. SO tried to watch some with me but he just didn't get it. He said "it must take a special kind of humor to appreciate this crap". What was amusing was he said this a few seconds after laughing at one of the scenes.

He ordered new parts for his dead machine, so I am preparing myself for a quick exodus of Mr. Helpful and the re-entry of OK Computer. I am hoping I am wrong, but I'm not holding my breath either.

I have 2 votes in favor of my setting this blog on "log in to read" posting. I am still leery of it - I might set up one of my other blogs as login only to test functionality and purpose.

Time to go do that laundry thing. Any minute now. Yes. Erm. Yes. Right away. Like, this instant. Truly.

I try but you see, it's hard to explain
I say the right things, but act the wrong way
I like it right here, but I cannot stay
I watch the TV; forget what I'm told
Well, I am too young, and they are too old
The joke is on you, this place is a zoo
"You're right it's true"

So I missed work today - migraine from hell and also overall stress from this whole fine nonsense. The prosecutor I talked to on the phone today from the courthouse told me to plea my case though - it's a long story but if the Crown is telling me I have half a chance, then hell. I'm going for it.

Took my sisterinlaw to the spa to get her legs done - it's her birthday coming up so I decided to treat her. She was looking forward to it with a little trepidation, but let me tell you: she's already hooked. She asked me sixty million questions on the pros and cons of the brazilian, which is not your typical dinner table talk, but was amusing nonetheless. I guess that can tell you how close we are. Since we both grew up with no sister in our lives, just brothers, it was easy to bond once I got involved with SO. She is considerably younger than I am but not so much that we can't get along.

C's first night of Brownies is tomorrow. Memo to self: fill out form.

So sleepy. Battling migraines all day will do that to you.

The fair is coming up this weekend. The kids are ecstatic about this fact. They are still young enough that everything holds interest for them at the fair, and old enough to enjoy most of it, and young enough that they still want their parents around to enjoy it with them. The kids make the fair fun. Otherwise I just see it with a disinterested stare. It's the same smelly food, cheap and tacky prizes, volunteers that are probably doing community service for their parole, rides that need to be fixed every few hours, animals pent up in little cages. I do have to say this though - I love a fair lit up at night. It's breathtaking, really.

C brought home actual homework today. It was math, patterns in numbers or somesuch. She finished it in five minutes, but it was homework all the same.

K brought home some things they had been working on in school. His printing is miles ahead of what C's was at this stage - it's amazing really. K is and always has been the type that you might think is slow, but really he is just absorbing it all and then BANG will show his learning off all at once. It used to concern me. I mean he didn't really start talking until he was two - we had his hearing tested and everything. He could hear perfectly fine. He was just absorbing. As soon as he was around 18 months he wasn't just saying the odd word; he was communicating concepts and stringing along sentences easy as you please.

Yeah. I just stared at the screen blankly for over a minute. Probably a good hint that I should hit "publish" and call it a night.

So I've been listening to Songs: Ohia on repeat lately. It is bluesy-slowsy-drowsy-zow.

I'm kind of sad because I didn't realize they were playing at Lee's Palace in TO this week- had I known earlier I would have made a point of finding a way to go.

Friday is here - how did that happen? The time is telling me it's 12:15 am - guess what I just finished doing? That's right, the employee review. I could have finished it earlier but I had a procrastination attack and cleaned my upstairs bathroom instead. Oh well. At least my procrastination was productive, right? Right???

you can't get here fast enough
i will swim to you

One of my favorite Songs: Ohia songs is Captain Badass. It makes me think of summer in the south for some reason. Hard to explain on typeface. Just... hmm. Nope, can't explain it. If you want the mp3 and have an email that can handle it, let me know, otherwise I could burn it if you're local to me.

Came home to supper cooked again. Wow. I don't know what I did but I have to keep doing it. It's times like these that help me to focus on the important fact that I am very fortunate in having SO for my chosen lifemate.


Ok I'm feeling the sleepies coming on now. Hooray for sleepiness! Take that, insomnia!

I have that Sneakerpimps tune stuck in my noggin. HELP!

Signed C up for Brownies tonight. K is wanting to join Beavers now, but I'm still waffling on it. I mean last year's seemed to be a disaster, and I'm not sure if it's even available anywhere in town at the moment. Plus he's six, and a boy, so I don't know if the dedication/attention span is there.

K's been pretty moody lately - crying at the drop of a hat. I think he's still adjusting to going to school everyday; he's been coming home just exhausted. He says he likes it but he is also very tired. He says it's also tough sometimes because he wants to play with T but sometimes he just doesn't get what T wants to play (this comes from T being incredibly, incredibly smart. This kid is gifted with a capital G, while K - well, K is special in other ways. As a result, sometimes K doesn't know exactly what it is T wants to play - I told K to just ask T to stop, wait, and explain to him).

I explained that he just needs to remember that friends won't always like all the same things, and that maybe he could suggest they take turns picking what to do. He also said that T disappears at recess sometimes or whatever and K can't find him. I said it's a big yard - and they don't have to play together every single time. But if he especially wants to play with T, all he has to do is just tell him so. K says it's hard because T sits in the middle of class and he sits at the front, and he doesn't want to get yelled at for trying to talk to T, because this teacher will totally yell if he tries. I gave K the option of maybe telling T when they are lined up at the beginning of the day - surely he can do it then? We'll see.

I think part of it is that K isn't used to actually having an option of someone he actually likes to play with at recess - last year was pretty tough on him, and he got pretty used to just sort of ambling and hoping someone would eventually let him play. Usually he ended up playing with C if she didn't have her "I'm older and don't want to be seen playing with my brother" attitude on.

I figure it'll all work out in the wash - it usually does with boys, and K & T are like peas and carrots for the most part.

As for C? She seems to be adjusting very well with her new class. She absolutely adores her new teacher, and she says recess has been pretty decent as well. She says she isn't always playing with the same people, but that her recess pals are pretty consistent, and that she is just so happy to be in a straight class with her friends. She is pretty bored with the school work, but her teacher has already said if C wants extra work to just let her know.

Guh. Work employee review time. I haven't even started the self-assessment, which is due by Friday, thankyouverymuch. I don't mind the whole whoring myself for that 1% raise jazz, but I just don't have the energy to fill out six pages of it. Meh. I hear my good friend Procrastination calling. Tomorrow night it is, then!

Blogger beta so far has been pretty decent - no loading issues, a little more user-friendly as far as interface goes, especially if you are new to the whole html razamajazz. Which I'm not, but it's nice to have an option if I'm feeling lazy.

Also I can access it from my google mail - niiiiice. It also allows for permissions - meaning I could set it up so that only certain people could see my posts, rather than the general public. I am toying with the idea - however, it adds an extra step for people to have to "log in" to my blog. Thoughts?