I've been a slacker. I know it. So much has happened in the past while. It's too much to absorb. It's not enough information. It is what it is.

I've had this song in my head. The video below is some dude doing a cover of the song. I'm finding I like his cover of the tune better than the original. He starts off a bit shaky but you learn to overlook it. Things happen that way sometimes. The original is a tune by The Editors, called No Sound But The Wind. It is slow and long and wintery. I don't know. Listening to it reminds me of winter and warm blankets and wine and love. Especially that last one. If I neglect this before, Happy Christmas to you, whoever still reads this. You are loved.

We can never go home
We no longer have one
I'll help you carry the load
I'll carry you in my arms
The kiss of the snow
The crescent moon above us
Our blood is cold
And we're alone
But I'm alone with you

Help me to carry the fire
We will keep it alight together
Help me to carry the fire
It will light our way forever

If I say shut your eyes
If I say look away
Bury your face in my shoulder
Think of a birthday
The things you put in your head
They will stay here forever
Our blood is cold
And we're alone, love
But I'm alone with you

Help me to carry the fire
We will keep it alight together
Help me to carry the fire
It will light our way forever

Help me to carry the fire
We will keep it alight together
Now help me to carry the fire
It will light up our way forever

If I say shut your eyes
If I say shut your eyes
Bury me in suprise
Where I say shut your eyes

Help me to carry the fire
We will keep it alight together
Help me carry the fire
It will light our way forever

Every time I hear an ABBA or ABBA-related tune, it makes me think of my father. I really really miss him.

Chiquitita, you and I know..
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leaving..
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end..
You will have no time for grieving..

I have tried this a couple of times before, but I am willing to try it again. Thirty days. 50,000 words. Wish me luck.

Buckle your seatbelts, this is going to be a long ride.

It's October 1st and I finally caved and put the furnace on. It's freezing outside.

My brother got married on the 19th of September. It was a lovely wedding and I was so happy for him and his new wife & their gorgeous daughters. Everyone had a fantastic time and it was everything I could have hoped for him and more. There were some funny bits - for instance, I was their MC and the cordless mic stopped working halfway through our introductions of the wedding party - I moved on like a trooper anyway and just spoke up louder until they could fix the problem.

Their daughters were all smiles all day and very well-behaved, regardless of the amount of people that ended up handling them all night. The food was excellent, the DJ was fantastic, everyone was in a good mood and I got to see some family I hadn't seen in years. My brother looked so handsome and my new sister-in-law was breathtaking. I cannot stress enough how wonderful their day was.

They gave out magnets as their gifts for guests - playing card ones for the men, and a pair ladybugs for the women. There is some Portuguese folklore about the ladybug and how it will always fly from you to your true love, which M didn't know when she chose them, and I find to be a good omen for their marriage.

I do have more to say, but I have been finding that with the cold weather comes a lack of the proper words to describe things. So I am going to cheat and show you the speech I had written as their MC.

Good evening everyone, and welcome. For those of you who don’t know me, I am R’s older sister. It is my great honor to be your MC tonight.

When R and M first approached me and asked me to be their MC, I did not hesitate to accept. It has only been the past few weeks that I’ve come to realize how difficult this task may be. Note, this is where I actually start to cry, so I can't remember if I managed to get the rest of this paragraph out. Anyone who knows me knows that underneath the sarcasm and humor lies a big sentimental schmuck, and so my greatest challenge today will be making it through this speech without crying. Especially since my dearest brother has begged me not to tell any embarrassing stories about him. I can’t make any promises, but I will try.

Once I'd composed myself, I went on:

M, I cannot thank you enough for meeting R and giving him exactly what he needed (the rest of this is between sobs) and had been searching for, a woman who would love him, forgive him his faults, and try to keep him in line. Believe me, keeping R in line is a very difficult task. I’d hate to inform you now, M but there is a strict no-return policy when it comes to R. Now that you legally and officially have him, he’s yours. (by this point, I had swung back to somewhat normal voice)

Growing up with R wasn’t easy, but it was never a dull moment either. We moved so much when we were kids, we were almost like gypsies – never staying in one place too long, until we made it to this city. Because we moved so much, the only constant we had was each other, which was both wonderful and terrible all at once. There were the dramas created by our Star Trek figurines; the bloodshed over various crazy moments on both our parts involving dog bites, bb guns, ginsu knives, and other perilous things; hiding under a blanket and imagining we had visited Neverland and fighting off imaginary crocodiles and pirates; staying up all night to “discover morning”. We squabbled the way most siblings do, but we were always there for each other when it mattered most, and always will be.

I cannot wait to watch my new twin nieces create their own adventures, and knowing how imaginative their father is, I am sure that there will always be trouble and fun between those two. R having two girls is God’s best kind of mischief played on him – they will have him wrapped around their fingers in no time, and causing him to lose a lot of sleep and likely a lot of hair over their hijinks. We can only pray that they inherit some of M’s responsibility or R will have no hope of surviving their teen years.

I’d like to welcome you M, to the great club of “having to spell your name to people for the rest of your life”. Having carried the name of (my birth last name here) for over 2 decades myself, I can guarantee you interesting times and much amusement when telemarketers try to pronounce it correctly.

About the bride – it’s hard to believe that I’ve known M for 9 years. It really does seem like only yesterday that this shy, quiet girl came into our home and was introduced as R’s new girlfriend. Being a suspicious sister, I initially kept my distance, wondering if she was here for the long run, or just a girl out to break my little brother’s heart.

M, I cannot tell you how pleased I am that you were here for the long run – and wow what a long run it’s been. I ad-libbed here: "You must be exhausted!" You deserve a medal for hanging in there so long where others would have run away. It’s really only been in more recent years that I’ve grown to know her better, and I am so very happy to have her for a sister. If I could ask for anyone on earth to be my brother’s bride, it would be you M, and I am overjoyed that today you said “I do”. I get a bit teary at this part. Shush. We all know what a big sap I am. I manage to compose myself again because I am a pro, dammit.

Anyone who knows M, knows that she loves lists. Apparently it is a family trait, inherited from her mother. It is one that has served her well. Anyone who knows R, knows that he isn’t a good planner, he hates lists, he is a last-minute decision maker, and rather relaxed when it comes to schedules. This is a match made in heaven – M will straighten out his schedule, while R will quietly sabotage M’s lists.

In the spirit of list-making, I’ve put together a list myself today – A list of things that happened on this day in history.

This day in History, September 19

1900 – Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid commit their first robbery.

1928 – Adam West was born.

1928 – Mickey Mouse’s first cartoon is shown.

1960 - Chubby Checker’s “The Twist” hits number one on the charts.

1970 – Mary Tyler Moore show premieres.

1974 – Eric Clapton received a gold record for “I shot the Sherriff”

1995 – Orville Redenbacker died.

1995 – International “Talk like a Pirate” day was born.

And here is where I lose it and start crying again. But the most important thing to happen on September 19 as far as I’m concerned is, R P & M W joined hands in marriage before friends, family, and God.

The rest of this is said with tears.

Before I call M's parents to come up and say their peace about the bride and groom, I humbly ask that you all raise your glasses in a toast.

May God be with you and bless you,

may you see your children's children,

may you be poor in misfortunes and rich in blessing,

may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.

I love you both.

So on to the next adventure with them, and may happy memories lie in their wake.

The next weekend I took my daughter with me and we went with Hammer to see an All Girls Roller Derby. And hells yes, it is exactly as fun as it sounds. Daughter had a blast and I'm just waiting for the day she says she wants to be a Derby girl. I got her another button for her collection (She is collecting those little clever button pins with sayings or whatever on them) which pleased her very much. What I loved was that in the beginning all the derby girls were polite and as the night wore on they got more and more aggressive. The visiting team's coach ended up getting kicked out of the building. I'm half-tempted to take her to the next one coming up; we shall have to see.

Last night I was blessed with a surprise visit from my dear friend V, who lives in England and was here helping her mom move to a new apartment. She only had one night to stay and spend time with me and it was wonderful, and time went fast-forward as it always does with her, and the visit ended much too soon. But I am so thankful to have had it. I miss her already.

I've been knitting up a storm between everything, keeping my head on straight, and trying not to worry too much. Had a very long day with a neurologist last week, which ended in tears on my part again, but he was really actually very kind this time around. He said he was reluctant to diagnose me with anything neurological until I'd sorted out my digestive issues (which are many, and gross, and painful, and let's just say I don't have the time or patience to get into it right now). The reason for his reluctance is because there are actually quite a few digestive/organ-related issues that can affect a patient's nervous system as well, and he wanted that area explored before he further entertained the idea of neurological impediments.

I have an appointment to get a dye-injected CT of my abdomen, specifically my liver, because they found an anomoly in it when they did an ultrasound so now they want to check for carcinomas and hepatitis and other absolutely wonderful things. After this I am awaiting an appointment with a surgeon to do a scope, both ways, checking for ulcerative colitis, Chrohn's, and colo-rectal cancer. How fun!

So yeah, that's my life in a nutshell. Too tired to get into further details than that. Cheers.

A happy coincidence or intentional? Jarbas Agnelli takes note from birds on a wire and makes a lovely piece of music.

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

I'm not a big fan of Sugababes, in fact I'd never heard of them before this morning, but someone linked me this video for a song called Ugly... and it was nice to see an uplifting type of song. I'm raising a daughter who is coming full blast into that point in her life where she's finding out the hard way that girls can be bitches, yes every last one of us, and it's important to drive home to her the "so what, I'm awesome, the rest of you suck, neener neener" attitude. Nothing hurts more than being teased for being yourself. So I guess this video is for her. (not able to embed, so click the link, and yes it's safe for work). The song isn't all that spectacular but I like its message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHaecEiBOGM

ROUS's ARE REAL.

If you don't get that, I feel sorry for you. Hurry up and go watch The Princess Bride.

Kids have been back to school since Sept 1, unlike the rest of CANADA, they had to start early. Boo-urns according to them, HIP HOP HOORAY according to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my little ones dearly; they've just been slowly driving me bonkers over the summer.

It's been a busy one, too. There is more on that but I'm tired and have a ton of stuff to do.

One of the ton of stuff I have had to do is make a new site for my in-laws' business. Click here if you are curious.

I had more to write and had every intention to do so but I've been staring at the screen for about 10 minutes no, a clear sign that this endeavor will turn out ot be fruitless. I'll try again later when my brain decides to reconnect. Cheers.

Today my Dad turned 54. I called, wished him a happy birthday, and then hung up and cried just a tiny bit because it's stuff like this that makes me miss them so much.

Today my mother turned 54. She looks more like 45. Hope I'm that lucky.

I called, wished her a happy birthday, had a good laugh with her on the phone. I miss her so much. Mom, come home soon.

Watch Coraline. It's worth it.

I've been busy. Two weddings and a crazy cat escapade. Too much to write at the moment but I'll try. My cousin JP got married on June 27. It was a lovely wedding and thankfully we made it to see her get married- we took back roads. The 400 was plugged up due to a motorcycle accident, so a lot of the family ended up missing the vows because of it. JP looked stunning and I am so happy for her. It was nice to see family as well, and my Dad came to the wedding too which was especially nice as I hadn't seen him in months (Parents are still in Mexico).

The week-end after that was a bachelorette thing for my brother-in-law's fiancee KT. We went to the spa during the day and then out for supper that evening, then the other girls went out drinking but C and I went home. C was in the wedding party as well and a very thoughtful KT planned for her to be included in the spa and dinner. C had a great time, and oh my god, she is growing by leaps and bounds. I don't know what else to say except that my heart leaps into my throat when I look at her now.

During the week I managed to sneak in a breakfast with my dear friend Sir T. He brought me up to date on his shenanigans (as usual, they were numerous and equal parts tragic and funny) and I gave him a briefing on all that was going on in my life. The event was a short one but as always, a good one. I've missed talking with him - it's nice having a male perspective on things. Plus it's good having someone to talk to that I don't have to explain myself much - he "gets it".

The week-end after that was of course, M & KT's wedding. As my hubby S, the kids and I were all in it, it made for a very long day, but let me tell you something - I have not had that much fun while still being in the wedding party, in a very very long time. C, oh my god, she grew by leaps and bounds and she looked so much older than she is. KT's aunt wanted to hook her up with this 18 year old boy, S just about had a cow when he heard it and reminded the aunt that our daughter is ELEVEN.

The ceremony was moving, the dinner was fabulous, the speeches were a riot (highlights: my kids teasing the bride and groom in their speeches about getting them some more cousins; one of the groomsmen sang "500 miles" and oh my god, hilarious! The best speech ever), and the dancing, fantastic. They had a really great DJ that worked the crowd and knew when to pick things up and calm them down again. I was exhausted but exuberant. Of all things, I wished this day would be a happy and memorable one for them, and the wish came true. SS was very happy for his brother, and also had a great time.

This week-end is my brother's Buck & Doe, I get to take care of the twins during the day while MW does her running around and R goes to a golf tournament. C will also be helping me take care of my little turkeys. That night we will go and help out as we can, and have another good time. My brother asked me to be the MC for his wedding and I couldn't be happier, but now I have the difficult task of putting together a speech that won't make me burst into tears. I love R so much and we have been through so many difficult things, and I am so happy and proud of him, I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Happy tears, happy tears, but tears nontheless.

There's more in between all that but this will do for now.

Oh wait - the cat episode. Right. So mischief got free from the backyard, the neighbor's kid came knocking at our door asking to get her. S had to go out and rescue her, but she was hissing, spitting, shitting, biting, everything possible - she was very very scared and agitated. We managed to get her into her carry cage but not without S getting multiple scratch and bite wounds. We took her to the vet and him to the hospital. The vet had to sedate her to check her out - her shots were up to date, no broken bones (thank god), no visible signs of getting hurt - the vet said "whatever happened, it spooked her something awful". S went on heavy meds to prevent cat scratch fever or whatever, mischief is under quarantine for the next 10 days (side note: the health unit quarantines animals 7-10 days because by then THEY DIE IF THEY HAVE RABIES. They just don't tell you that.) the first day or so, she growled at everyone but me, would only let me near her, feed her, etc. We were worried something fierce and I think I cried for about an hour one night at the thought of having to let her go if she didn't get better. She has finally come around though and is actually downright friendly with everyone (something she never really was before - she would tolerate your presence if you weren't one of her family but that would be about it). Whooboy. What a month it's been.

To quote a friend of mine, "it's like the 70's and 80's died today". Both Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett. End of an era, and all that rot.

I loved MJ when I was a kid. Thought he was the bees' knees and all that. Then he got all weird and yeah, no thanks. Farrah Fawcett was draped on the walls of more teenage boys than you could shake a stick at, I've no doubt of this, and she was a pretty interesting lady to boot.

I have more to say on this but I'm tired, I'm fighting off a crazy tonsil infection thing that is playing havoc with my sweetmeats among other body parts. Cheers.

Today was also the last day of school, hurrah!

Kermit singing "Needle in the Hay"

(Find more at sadkermit.com)

Who watches "Fringe" and why was I not informed about how good it is? Shows that are intriguing and make me actually laugh out loud for reals are few and far between, and I really like this one. John Noble won me over from word one - seriously. Even S loves it, but then again, he loves Smallville, something I only moderately forgive him for loving. (Insert very long rant about how much Smallville sucks here.)  

Speaking of shows that are true and wonderful diamonds in the rough that I call "reality tv overdose", I'm glad that "Chuck" got renewed, boo to having to wait until next March to see anything, but what can you do huh?  

Not sure what I feel about how "How I Met Your Mother" ended this season, but I'm willing to stick it out. Wondering how long Dexter will continue to be brilliant, hoping they only let the show run until it runs out of steam rather than beat a dead horse. Remaining hopeful for next season.  

I gave up completely on Mad Men, which is a bit heartbreaking because it had soooo much potential in Season One but Season 2 left me cold.  

C has become hooked on CSI so I've been watching seasons 1-7 with her as we have them all on DVD - I feel it's important to watch with her, to help her understand more subtle plot points but also to be available for discussions the episodes inevitably bring. She's pretty astute and always has been, and has no trouble discerning between what is real and what is fiction, and she's drawn her own conclusions about a lot of things but she likes my feedback, and I like that she still seeks it. It's win-win, if you ask me.  

This became longer than I intended - I really only wanted to comment on Fringe. So yeah. It's awesome.

It's stormy outside and the kids said it was a "ripoff" that school wasn't cancelled. For a bit of rain? Give me a break.

I'm going to start taking vitamin B6 & B12 to see if that helps me some with some of my problems. Long shot but you never know.

I came thisclose to deleting my facebook the other day. I just can't be bothered with it and I ignore about 90% of the invites to events, games, useless applications, etc. At the same time, some of the people I want to keep in contact with use facebook exclusively. Bleh. I hate feeling cornered into using a social networking site that is useless to me. I was thrilled when myspace stopped being in vogue, I'm praying that happens to facebook sometime soon but I doubt it.

Twitter is the next "big thing" which I've been using for some time for "mini posts" about absolutely nothing with zero value aside from mild entertainment. What I like about it is, I'm not forced into using it to communicate with people because nobody in their right mind would use twitter as their primary communication tool. For those of you in the know, here's a fun drinking game - have a drink every time p diddy mentions the phrase "locked in" or any of it's variants. I get what he's doing, it's the whole "stay positive" vibe, and I can't fault him for that, but it is amusing.

Ok time to see if my get up and go just got up and went without me.

Too lazy to make my own site layout, I yoinked one from btemplates.com. I reckon it looks as chaotic as I feel lately.

The weekend was hectic, with C having Guides camp (what craptastic weather they had), my brother-in-law's buck and doe, and Mother's Day. 

I lost my cell phone. That really, really sucked. It's like losing a limb for me because I used that thing as a planner, phone book, alarm (to remind me to take meds), you name it. Whoever out there that has it now, I hope you burn a thousand fiery deaths. I am so not kidding.

On the bright side, I got a new one to replace it, for FREE, thank you Rogers. It's a texty thingy that has a little keyboard that flips out when you need it, I didn't really need that but it's nice to have. 

I had a crap day at work today, I don't even want to get into it that's how bad it was.

Mother's Day was nice, K made me a bookmark and a card, C made me a rain measuring thingy and a card with coupons in it. One of them is good for "one week of K and C not arguing" - fat chance of it working, but the sentiment was there. One was for 5 free hugs which is pretty magnanimous of her as she is really stingy on the hugs - always has been. 

Ok my eyes are blurry and my ears feel blocked (again and always lately)

Ciao.

Texts from last night - a website dedicated to drunken text messages. NSFW but that should go without saying.

Obscure lyrics for the win!*

I've been reading Michael Crichton books because I found a bunch at a garage sale for practically nothing. The one I am currently digesting is "The Andromeda Strain", which I'm finding mildly entertaining more than I normally would as it happens that this book is often thought of when pandemics come into the foreground. Queue in the current "swine flu" issue. As a sort of whistling in the dark method of humor, I told my husband that the swine flu must have come from space pigs landing and spreading their virus among unprepared earth swine.

I am not all frightened and "oh noes the world, she is ending!", but I am concerned more than I probably would be, as my parents are currently living in Aguascalientes. Mom emailed me today to say things were looking up though, and Mexico City is calming down some, which then sets the course for how the rest of the country responds. They are still being cautious, but they are hopeful of a swift resolution to the problem.

Anyway, back to Crichton. What I find interesting about his fiction is that what he writes is plausible. There is little in the way of a reader having to work on their suspension of disbelief because frankly - we have the technology to carry out a lot of what he suggests in his books. His published speech at the end of his most recent title, "Next", is well thought out, and I have to agree with his arguments with regards to gene patenting and its inherent problems. I find it frightening (but not surprising) that there are recent claims that a doctor has successfully managed to clone human beings. More frightening is the possibility of the U.S. taxpayers' funds being portioned towards research and development for human cloning. Frightening, but not surprising.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not an alarmist. I am far from building a panic room and preparing for the end times, or any of that jazz. But it stands to reason that there are plenty of moral, ethical, nevermind scientific, reasons why this is so wrong. I understand the more noble reasoning behind it - "we could build parts for transplants, research diseases and cures, bla bla bla!" Yeah, that's great, but at what cost? There is always the seedier side to the coin, and let's not kid ourselves, if there's something to be exploited in this, it will.

Now I'm just rambling and tired. And wishing I had someone to parry all this off of. Off of? Off with? Something something. Time for bed now I think.

*Ok, I'll spill - the title of this post is a line from the lyrics to the song "Andromeda" by Zucker Baby.

The next time one of my culinary experiments fail, I will refer to this and not feel so bad:

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Hammer, check out the twilight cake, talk about hilarious.

My parents are living in Aguascalientes now, so clearly I'm worried about this whole swine flu mess.

I got an email from mom, per my tweets to the right there: 

The people that died in Aguas were from Mex City. We have wipes and hand sanitizer everywhere and masks, even at the grocery stores. Yesterday and today dad is working from home, the schools are closed until May 06,but so far all business is open. Due to this flu and the 4 deaths the Gov't has closed the Feria & any activity such as soccer games bull fights etc are all closed. 

So yeah. I'm more than a little concerned. I understand that the media tends to spin these things out of proportion, but I find it hard to guffaw at this when it affects the people I love. So if you are the praying kind, would you mind kicking one towards my parents' general direction?

Danke.

Grace

He did it.

So uh, I find it pretty amusing that Ashton Kutcher is trying to beat CNN for twitter followers. The nice thing is if he makes it to 1 million followers he is donating 100,000 to purchase  mosquito bed nets in honor of World Malaria Day. But even without that, it's still amusing.

He decided to stream his reactions live, archive here: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1393560

The Kutcher vs. CNN tweet charting live: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/16/ashton-kutcher-vs-cnn-twi_n_187835.html

Highlights: Ashton goofing up popping a champaigne cork and drinking out of a commemorative Chicago Bears cup. That's right.

Anyway. Um. I forgot what else I was going to write about, a sure sign I'm tired.

Oh wait right. Eye appointment. The eye doctor put all kinds of liquids into my peepers that made them huge and stingy and then did a barrage of tests and the conclusion is: the reason I am missing spots of text when I am reading has nothing to do with my eyes but probably everything to do with my CNS (central nervous system) oh gee, shocker there. Score one more in favor of it being a neurological thing that's messing me up so bad. It's been almost a year since the initial crazy hospital visit form hell, and still no answers. Yay socialized medicine!

This Saturday is S's birthday. I already gave him his gift - a blue DS so he can stop stealing mine and his own copy of Brain Age 2 so he can play sudoku all he likes. Was tempted to buy him a pink one but thought better of it. He loves it of course. On Saturday we're having people over for chicken wings and a keg o beer. Wish I could join them but I unfortunately have to be the sober type person, stupid meds. It's all good, I'll find a way to have fun anyway, I always do.

I can also tell I'm tired because I'm not caring much about the bad grammar (ie run-on sentences) but oh well, it's the internet, I already win by spelling as well as I am regardless of mistakes.

Back to watching old episodes of CSI on DVD with the commentary on. Be excellent to each other people.

Cheers.

If you were to give me a bouquet of sound, what would be on the list?

I have this song in my head now. 

She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said Im sorry, 
I had a bad day again

Well, Friday the 13th is certainly living up to its reputation this time around. Ever have one of those days where it just all plummets from the minute you wake up? I woke up with a cranky throat (not a good thing to have when your job is to talk to people alllll day). Kids were at each other over nothing, which I suspect is a result of the jitteries about the March break starting next week. Went and had breakfast with my mother, who is here to help my brother with his newborn twins, and while it was nice, it was peppered with the usual guilt-and-martyrdom song and dance that we have perfected over the 32 years of my existence. 

Work was no better - "coaching" sessions with sub-boss, answering the phones to complaints complaints complaints. Cranky-throat feeling not helping, and I bit my tongue, lucky me. Couldn't wait for the day to end but when it finally came I ended up having to stay 20 minutes late anyway to help someone process and submit a deal to us that had to be done pronto. Came home to empty house which was nice but only lasted about 47 seconds. Kids at each other again, S also in a cranky mood because work has been hurty for him, even the cat was in a bitey "don't you dare look at me!" mood. 

Piece de resistance: My computer has more trojans than a frat house. I have all kinds of online downloads and never had a problem until I installed a legitimate program - Nero of all fucking things. Checked processes and FOURTY SEVEN items were running in the background. Loaded up my anti-whateverwhatever prog and sure enough, wormy worm trojan trojan spyware malware bla bla bla. I know what you are thinking, I probably brought it on myself with the downloaded stuff, but I assure you, I am very cautious about that sort of thing, check it out all the time, pretty much all of my downloads are from legitimite sources, etc etc. I didn't think it would be necessary to safeguard against something I paid for with cash money and brought home and installed. You want to talk about pissed? Pissed am I, good sir or madam. 

So now I am waiting out a repartition so I can salvage some of my files before the great purge. Thank God for 400 gig hard drives and laptops to use in the meantime, that's all I have to say. I'm kind of hoping that the repartition and hardware update will help, but I know better. 

See you on the flipside, I guess.

At around 7 PM tonight my baby nieces finally came! M managed to deliver both naturally (amazing I know!), both are healthy and everyone is happy. Baby one was 5 lbs 1 oz, baby two was 4 lbs 13 oz. R (my brother) got to cut the cord for both of them as well. He's on cloud nine.

I'm beside myself with excitement and happiness.

Hooray for babies!

So at midnight the phone rang, I didn't get it in time and the number was unfamiliar. I called it back.

"G, it's your brother, M's water broke. The babies are coming!"

In the minute it took for my sleepy brain to process, a million things went through my head. I wanted to tell him that it was ok, he didn't need to be afraid. That from this moment on his heart no longer belonged to him. That the twins would be a constant source of joy, frustration, sleepless nights, but mostly a happiness he won't be able to explain in words. That they will do things that will make his heart simultaneously sing and weep. There are million more things I want to tell him, but all I could say was:

"Congratulations, poncho, now get her to the hospital. I love you."

Now I'm feeling like a cooped-up cat in a cage, pacing continually, leaping at every sound, staring at the phone and begging it to ring. I'm going to be an aunt, for the very first time. I can't wait.

Someone dear to me likes to remind me from time to time that Wednesday is "anything can happen" day. I find it amusing and usually true. So today:
- My doorbell started to ring of its own accord. Then a really loud buzzing noise came from the bell speaker inside. Turns out the button was smashed somehow and rain leaked in. It was thisclose to it starting an electrical fire - my father-in-law fortuitously dropped by and disconnected the thingy before anything bad could happen.

- I found twenty dollars laying on the ground today, after pulling into a parking spot at work right beside the door (this is nothing short of miraculous) and it was pouring rain and I had no umbrella. So I managed to avoid getting soaked and I had money to put more gas in the car.

- I went to my family doctor who *gasp!* has finally decided to get things moving in a forward direction and is referring me to various specialists. Why it took nearly a year to get this done I cannot fathom but I am grateful beyond belief.

- My godson had is confirmation today, so right after work I had to speed to a town that usually takes 30 minutes to drive to. Tonight it took an hour and a half. The fog was so thick and so low to the ground we couldn't even see the hood of our car. My beloved (and did I mention non-Catholic) husband, bless his soul, drove me there and back without a single complaint. The drive home was stressful beyond belief and I damn near rubbed St. Christopher right off my medallion. We made it home in one piece and for that I am thankful.

I can't wait to see what next Wednesday brings.

A lady I have known for a long time, went to high school with, our kids go to the same school, died last night. They don't know why and she didn't have any previous health concerns.

I have spent the better part of the evening trying to absorb this news. I keep teetering between crying and that empty feeling you get when this sort of thing happens.

What is just shattering to me is that she is leaving behind a 10 year old, a 6 year old, and a toddler. This was a gentle soul and a person who is very loved.

I don't know what else to say.

Silencing all the songbirds, and setting the alleys ringing...

So I have a really old song in my head because I was watching "Emma" last night (the one with Gwyneth Paltrow in it) and now I have that song she sings with Ewan McGregor stuck in my head.

Anyway.

Today was one of those days where you spend a half hour in the bathroom stall crying because you are stressed and tired and cannot deal with one more thing, period, nevermind a plethora of things.

Sad to say, I really did this.

After work I came home and took a bath and slept forever. Now I'm awake and in pain and wishing I could go back to sleep. And the pain isn't the kind you can ignore. So here I sit ready to post my complaints.

Except I won't. I'm empty and exhausted and burning the candle at not only the ends but the middle, too. Did I mention hurty? Yes. Very hurty.

Ok time to try and rest again.

So uh, happy new year I guess. Life has been crazy, what else is new right?

You know those moments you have, where you haven't seen or spoken to someone in a great long while, and there is just too much to say so you just sit there and say nothing? That's sort of how I feel about this blog right now.

So I'll just type random things.

How sad is it that John Travolta's son died? Seriously, the news was a bit jarring. I can't even imagine what that family must be feeling right now.

Ok I've been staring blankly at the screen for a full minute. Clearly today is not the day for me to type anything.