Posted by Slowplum on 9/28/2004 01:50:00 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY O CHRIS!!!!!!!1111oneoneone


bachelorette camping

Posted by Slowplum on 9/22/2004 06:42:00 AM
so this weekend we are going camping up by lake huron overnight as a bachelorette function for my friend JK. She's not really into the bar scene and the rest of us are sick of it as well, this way we can get smashed and have fun. JM is setting up a drunken survivoresque type game and I cannot wait.

I have somehow been hornswaggled into making dessert for this function, and I'm hard pressed to find something that won't make drunken bellies go "oooooooog! bad ideaaa!" the next day. Hmmmm. I'm thinking cookies is the only option...

Tonight is Family Information/BBQ/Book Fair night at my kids' school. WHoopety-do. I hate mingling with parents who don't give me the time of day because I'm one or all of the following: 1) weird 2) half their age 3) not a stay at home mom 4) actually interested in my children.

Mind you there are a few people I do like, here's hoping I bump into them.

I should probably write about K's first day sometime, I probably will and just date it from that day.

So I have an ultrasound scheduled for the face-melting pain I've been in but it isn't scheduled until next Thursday. The doctor's pretty convinced it's my gall bladder acting up but wants to see the extent of the damage or somesuch. In the mean time he has put me on Nexium which apparently tells the stomach to stop producing acids. How does my food get digested? Very slowly. And I still have the nausea and general discomfort/malaise. Did I mention I HATE pills? Hate them with a passion but I have to take them or end up either not eating or in the fetal position every time I do eat.

SO says this is a clear indication that my job is killing me, har har.

This guy at work came in with a cast this week on his hand, I asked him what happened. Well! Apparently his (now ex) fiancee smashed his hand in the fridge door and broke the ball joint at the base of his hand & the one on his pinky finger. I asked why he said because she doesn't like him working so much. She's something like 7 months pregnant too. Man some people lead crazy lives. I said uh was she this dysfunctional before he said nope and now he is talking to his lawyer about custody of Molly (the baby she hasn't had yet) because he doesn't want her growing up with a nutcase. He kind of laughed and said it was interesting that he had spent years in the military and no injuries - it took living with a woman to mess him up. I didn't really have a response to that because, frankly, I think the guy might be a little messed up himself but meh, who knows these days.

Also, my insomnia came to visit me last week and hasn't left since. Whoo-ah. Gotta love the autumn.


not shutting down after all

Posted by Slowplum on 9/17/2004 07:52:00 PM
We've been acquired by two rather large investment corporations, so hooray! Or somesuch. Someone on our Lean team tried to figure out the amount of money lost wasting 45 minutes on a global announcement via speakerphones but then his brain broke. Because it was that much.

Five minutes after the announcement, an email was transmitted that more or less told us the exact same thing, and took less time to read.

You could almost hear our former CEO laughing as he rolled around in the money.

I was going to say something witty but I've forgotten.

Guess who has a cold now? Maybe it was the lack of sleep thing getting me down or something but I sound like a brandy-swigging chain-smoking lounge singer.

I gave out two random coffees today for my random act of kindness and in return I got a free pizza from my boss and was treated to Dairy Queen by the director of HR.

Oh! I got new boots! They are hella sexy and comfortable. On sale! *swoon*

Ok time for Nyquil or something and some bedrest.

Nighty night.

Posted by Slowplum on 9/17/2004 06:31:00 AM
Bleh so I didn't sleep for two days and then when sleep finally came to me Shawn wouldn't let me because he wanted to talk

also i find this incredibly funny


ok i'm too tired to type much and have to be at work soon (should be there now really) because they have an announcement about the sale or somesuch rot. maybe we're shutting down, who knows.



Posted by Slowplum on 9/13/2004 06:55:00 AM
So I've been sick more or less for the past two weeks... I'm guessing anxiety though for what I don't know. Just a churning in my stomach that starts around 4pm and doesn't let up until I pass out from exhaustion. For the record, I'm NOT pregnant. Halfway through the two week stretch proof of my non-pregnancy revealed itself in all its majesty (and man did it hurt like a mofo).

Seeing the doctor today, so we'll see how that goes.

As I've mentioned briefly before, on top of my customs invoicing duties, I also answer the phone for the company I work for. On Friday, SG called as he almost always does, we chatted for a few minutes then I asked him how I could help him. He said he was looking for RL so I agreed to page him. After paging him, 4 of the switch's lights blinked on. I went through the first three which were legit phone calls before managing to reach the fourth, I picked up and heard RL mumbling about "she pages me then doesn't answer the goddamn phone, typical, typical" and I said a cheery "Shut up I had for freakin lights blinkin, you were number four, DEAL WITH IT" and of course he laughed. I let him know SG was on the phone so he said fine I'll hang up put him through.

I put him through but I'm thinking RL didn't hang up fast enough... anyhow he got Mag to call me and say "whoever you put through to him it didn't work" and I said "Next time he should hang up faster" and left it at that. Phone rang, it was RL. "So you can't even do the simplest task, all you had to do was switch him through and you couldn't-" I said "SHUT UP. FIRE ME THEN. I DARE YOU." and of course we had a good laugh over it.

I then called Mag back and said "Do me a favor? Smack him for me." She laughed and responded that she would, but she feared she would not be able to stop. My response was "Well, I was going to just say you should tell him that if he payed half as much attention to the quality of our merchandise as he does to my switchboard skills, we wouldn't be in so much trouble with the customer. But that's mean. So just smack him." She laughed a good deal over that and asked if she could keep that for herself for the next opportunity. I said of course and hung up.

Five minutes later the phone rings, it's RL. "It took you that long to come up with a response??" I said "Oh I'm sorry, I was busy DOING MY JOB and didn't have a chance to call back right away. You know what that is, right? Doing your job?"

It should be mentioned that RL and I are pals, and none of this is taken very seriously.

Later I get a phone call for AR and paged him. RL answers the page. "AR is in Oakville"
"He didn't tell me that."
"Well shame on him, then. Put the call through to me."
I couldn't help myself in answering "Are you sure you can trust me with that task?" to which he replied "I don't know... you sure they trained you for this position? Must be nice to make the big bucks to do nothing. Man, if I had your salary I'd retire by now" and of course my rejoinder was a cheery "fuck off and hang up so I can transfer him, please".


Other incident: Around 1 pm the ESA came by to see JMC. I paged and phone his cell but no answer. I stalled the ESA agent and mentioned it was the end of lunch so he may be running late. He said no, JMC knew about this appointment and would be expecting him. I asked if anybody else could help him in the meantime, he said yeah probably RY or Digger. I called RY up and RY had no clue what ESA guy was talking about, so then HE proceeded to try and track down JMC. No luck. So ESA guy says "call Digger, he will know". Digger comes up, knows what he is talking about of course and they discuss the matter briefly in the reception area. It's around 1:20 by this point so I tried JMC's cell again. No answer. Two minutes later, the switch rings and it is JMC. "G, I know there is a B from the ESA waiting for me there, tell him I am swiftly heading towards there as we speak, ok?" So he arrives late, and greatly apologetic, and I think nothing of it.

Later in the afternoon, Rick from CBS came by to see JMC. I paged him, he answered and I said "Dude you need a secretary or something". He laughed and said "It's getting that bad, is it?" The guy is FAMOUS for missed appointments and mismanagement of his time. Then he went on to confess the real reason he was late for the ESA meeting was because it was Friday, he decided to go out for lunch with a few people. No big deal, right? They left at noon, they were chatting up while waiting for their food, just as the food arrives his cell rings and he looks at the time. It was 1:00 so he shut off his cell and tried to jam his entire meal into a few minutes. "You should have seen it, G, I know you'd have a good laugh over it. Imagine me trying to jam an entire turkey sandwich into my mouth at once and you'll get the picture."

He came up got Rick and apologised again. He came by later after the meeting: "What are you still doing here? It's what, 5?"
"I work here, remember?"
"Yeah but..."
"Yeah... I started at 7 and yes I'm still here. What can be done?"
"G, you need to slow down. Laugh some more. I hadn't heard you laugh like that in MONTHS."
"I know."
"G, go home."

I ended up taking two books full of work home. I only managed to go through one this weekend. It's getting busier and while it gets busier we have managers telling us to put in less overtime. Ok you know what? STOP GIVING ME MORE STUFF TO DO. Then I'll stop posting the OT. Perhaps even cut me back down to two jobs, instead of four? Hmmm?

Anyway. Off to work with me. Adieu.


First Day

Posted by Slowplum on 9/07/2004 04:52:00 PM
I had forgotten that desks could be so little
and that kids could be so excited
and that teachers can actually smile kindly and mean it
and that first day jitters apply to parents too

I had forgotten that new school smell
and that array of hooks and shelves to proudly hold your things
and the hollows in the desk to place your newly-sharpened pencils
and the way everything is just so on that first day

I had not forgotten how beautiful your smile can be
and how proud you make me, every day.

First day of first grade, C. Oh, how the years have started to fly..


another meme

Posted by Slowplum on 9/07/2004 04:45:00 PM
01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.

03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.(or at least I'm supposed to)
07. I love to play video games.

08. I've tried marijuana. (nope, allergic)
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome.

11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I look younger than I am.

14. I like and respect Al Sharpton. (I don't follow American politics closely enough to care)
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.

18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart. (har har)
21. I've never hurt anyone.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I hate the rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now.
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.

30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. (that's because I am CANADIAN)
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis.

35. I have a twin.
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look.

39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
40. I know how to cornrow.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.

44. I think Britney Spears is hot.
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.

64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama.
67. I have never been in a "real" relationship before.
69. I currently have a crush on someone...(does my other half count?)
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

71. I want to have children in the future. (Not MORE children, mind you, two is plenty)
72. I have changed a diaper before.

73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I'm a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes.

81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.

85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy some country music.
89. I enjoy different genres of music.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friends ex.

99. I have cut my self before.
100. I am happy at this moment.

Posted by Slowplum on 9/07/2004 01:29:00 PM
i always thought that there'd be lots to talk about
but i never see you and i still look when i go out...

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