I've been a terrible journaller, but to be honest I've been saving up my energy for everyday life, and it leaves little left for this kind of self-indulgence. Fear not, citizens, I am alive. Not well and not whole but alive, and that is something to be thankful for.

At my doctor's behest, I've started to see a psychologist, to sort out all my current frustration and stress. I've been to a few sessions and it's going ok I guess. I have issues with the whole therapy thing but this person seems to not play any of the typical games and is genuinely trying to help me. She also thinks its ludicrous that I've been put on all sorts of pain killers and whatnot because while it is helping yes it is also not helping in that it is not treating the root cause. She's also concerned about my family doctor's laisse-faire attitude about my health these days. There's more, so much more to this, but I really don't feel like blathering on about it here.

The snow has finally hit here and it was like one day there was nothing and then suddenly the ground was covered in white. Welcome to Canada, right? Doesn't mean I have to like it. My parents have already emailed me to gloat about their lovely Mexican weather. If I could afford the holiday (both monetarily and physically) I'd be on the next plane to visit them.

With snow comes thoughts of Christmas. It's going to be a weird time without my parents around this year but I'm sure it'll be fine. I've somehow managed to get finagled into hosting Christmas Day at my house - I have zero energy for this but S has already said he'd do what he could and that we don't have to make it a huge thing and fuck his family if they don't like it, and he thinks they'll understand either way, but again if they don't too bad. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me to have this man in my corner. He is my rock, my safe harbor in a storm.

I've been knitting up a storm as well - not much else to do when my mobility is limited and I get tired so very easily. I have to put the projects down often, but it's good to know they are there and within reach and portable and easy. When my mom came down during thanksgiving she yoinked a bunch of my yarn, and while at the time I didn't mind, the yarn she took was stuff I actually had in mind for use of making things. Ah well, it's only stuff, and I can get more whenever.

I've been fighting off this hell of a wicked sinus infection (at least I think it is- it's been 3 weeks of pressure and pain in my face and ears - unless it's part of the Super Mystery Science Theater Disease From Hell).

Ok, time to go back to watching more Six Feet Under (a.k.a. Gay Dexter as S calls it) and maybe take a nap before the kids get home from school. Cheers.

Reading a CNN article stating that "Men are buying more clothes than women", I found it interesting that they felt the only reason for the disparity between men and women purchasing more/less clothing is that "Women's wear has painted themselves in a corner. By offering too many options and with everything a trend, it is very easy not to buy anything," and did not perhaps consider the fact that:

1) Hello fashion trends of the past? Please for the love of God take your unflattering clothing back. The current trend of potato sack dresses and giant shoulder pads and fantastically ugly colors and everything else is just depressing as it only really flatters a very small minority of people, who I am convinced may be some sort of hybrid alien

and

2) Excuse me, stores that sell clothing to us plebians? There's a reason why you are stuck with six million size 2 dresses that you end up having to sell at 25% the normal price, and your size 12 and up sell almost the minute you put them on the rack. When the rest of us normal people go to shop, there is nothing left for us to buy that would actually fit us.

and of course

3) Men do like to look good, believe it or not. Kudos to the fact that the current trend seems to come to realize this and is apparently appealing - so no wonder men are actually buying things for themselves. One of the reasons I think the whole "metrosexual" thing took off is because the media finally gave men permission to look good without feeling weird about it.

Of course, I also have to remind myself that this article was published by CNN, not exactly the most reliable news source to begin with, but the article just made me sort of snort out a laugh and wonder if perhaps the producers of Mad Men paid CNN to plug them in an inadvertent way. (PS I have not seen last Sunday's episode so please do not say anything about it until later - I am watching it on demand tonight.)

Ok, insipid rant about things I have no expertise on done.

Every once in a while I ask myself why I bother to keep reading Scary Go Round, and then John Allison does something that makes me fall in love with it all over again.

I've loved his comics since Bobbins (which is totally worth reading over again, by the way. Who doesn't love spunky little Shelley?). Scary Go Round is really hit and miss with me, but it's worth sticking to in the long run.

What I really like is that Allison tends to reinvent himself; what I mean by this is, bit by bit he changes up how he produces the comic, so that visually the eye candy just gets sweeter. He isn't afraid to push himself, which I find is the mark of a good artist. The storyline sometimes falls flat, but you can hardly fault him for it - this is something he does in his spare time after all.

Look at Penny Arcade for an excellent example of artistic evolution - the Penny Arcade of yesteryear certainly doesn't look like the current version. However, even as the art changes up, they consistently remain funny, and very tuned in to the current pulse of gaming. I could go on for pages about how truly fantastic they are - Child's Play, anyone? - but it's all been done before, and in a much more eloquent than I could produce, I'm sure.

Jeph Jacques' Questionable Content is another example of reinvention, artistically speaking. The original characters look nothing like the current version. His plotlines have gone from random to a bit more cohesive, and he managed to shake the Tony-Angela (in his case Martin/Faye) sharkjump successfully, by not even going there.

One comic I've really grown to love as well is Wapsi Square by Paul Taylor. Initially, his comics were haphazard and without an actual plot, but over time he has told a pretty intriguing story, and I find I can't wait to see where he takes his characters next.

It is really interesting to me to see these artists emerge and find their groove. I am glad that once they find their mojo they stick to what works - this is a process that thanks to the internet we as an audience are privy to. In the world of print, we wouldn't necessarily see these changes - by the time a comic artist gets into syndication, they have already refined their characters et al.

However, if you look at Diesel Sweeties, you can see what artistic consistency looks like as well. R Stevens is fantastic, hits just the right tone, and has maintained the same aesthetic for his characters since day one. He did actually make it into syndication as well, breaking barriers between online and print comics without self-publication (what I mean by this is, he has been syndicated in actual newspapers, rather than for sale in printed anthologies sold by the artist).

I used to love PVP, and I can still tolerate it to a certain degree if I put my horse-blinders on to Scott Kurtz's insipid commentary and overall sense of self-righteous bullshit. On more than one occasion I have seen him rant about something that most human beings would think was a waste of breath, and then recant after getting called on it, ad nauseum, stating that "oh no I meant it this other way that is more acceptable to the masses". I'd offer up some examples but it would pain me to have to go through his archived news; also I'm pretty sure he's erased evidence of most of those kinds of posts anyway. One example that comes to mind was when he ranted about how horrible it was that dude who does Ctrl-Alt-Del was going to be charging his viewers for the cartoon version of his comic. And then a while later, Kurtz attempts the same damned thing! Now I'm not about to go and defend Tim Buckley tooth and nail, because from anything I've read the guy is a bit of a prat too, but really, Kurtz shouldn't be calling the kettle black here. I realize that he is a human being, like the rest of us, prone to mistakes and change his mind like the rest of us, but he still just sets my teeth on edge. There is nothing he can do to fix that, and I am not about to demand he fix it.

Beware: Here there be a million links!

That being said: I would be remiss if I didn't mention Homestar Runner, even though technically it isn't an online comic, it is still a site I visit that consistently brings on the funny, as well as reinvents itself over time. They actually poke fun at online webcomics in a Strong Bad Email. What I love is that while most people who watch and love it are addicted to Strong Bad & Co, I find the quiet perseverance of Homestar's hilarity is what draws me back time and again.

Strong Bad's emails are arguably the most popular feature of the site, most especially the one featuring Trogdor. (Even Strong Bad reinvents the way he answers email by continually "upgrading" his machines to similar older model computers and laptops and "newer" printers.)

The Burninator aside, I find that the funniest StrongBad Emails are the ones featuring Homestar Runner. I am also tickled by the sbemail spinoff, Teen Girl Squad. The origins of that would be found here.

Ok that's enough for now I think.

My boy is EIGHT today!

He was pretty surprised at his cake.



This morning I made him chocolate chip pancakes with hearts cut into them for breakfast, as per his request. Supper tonight will be sweet n sour meatballs & french fries (also his request. A weird combo but it is tradition that the birthday boy or girl gets to request their meal).



So the short term income people were fucking me over stating I had to start work today for 4 hours. My regular shift is only 5 hours. Huh? How does that equal half a shift, like my fucking doctor wrote on the forms? I talked to the medisys people on Friday and the woman was totally uncool about it - said there was no way that my company would allow for 2.5 hrs and it would HAVE to be four.

So of course I'm upset - I can barely do groceries without needing a nap afterward, whiskey tango foxtrot over.

I called my boss on Friday and he said there was "no way in hell I will allow you to come back in those conditions" and "sit tight, I will handle this" and "the medical insurance company is probably pissed that we are taking the business away from them and giving it to another company" and "DO NOT COME BACK UNTIL I CALL YOU".

I called today and left a message to see what was going on - he called back and said that he was looking into it, that HR agreed with him and said there was no way I should come back all at once, that they could even set it up that I only come back 1 hour and then work my way up slowly at my own pace. And that the medical ins co could suck it. Ha and HA. So he said even if I don't get a call back in enough time today, he would *winkwinknudgenudge* give me hours as if I had (knowing full well that I've on more than one occasion stayed an extra hour and never put it on my time sheet - this is strictly a quid pro quo move on his part).

The only reason he is being so cool about this is because he knows what I am usually like - I'm that person that comes in even though I'm dying, I'm the person that is cool about staying extra time when it's needed, and I'm the person that gets a METRIC FUCKTON of accolades from fellow employees, brokers, and lawyers that call in.

He said he would rather eat glass than see me come in before I am truly ready.

So yeah, basically, health wise, I'm better than I was say 2 months ago, but still not fabulous. I am more or less biting through the pain and trying to get my life back in order. The amitriptyline isn't doing shit for my sleeping, the doctor wants me to go up to 30mg by next week to see if that will work. And during the day I get to suck back the gravol for the dizziness and extra strength advil for the pain and just pray my vision/hearing doesn't go off on me. It isn't much of a solution but what can you do, right?

I've also been set up with "telephone counselling" that may/could eventually turn into "counselling in an actual counsellor's office", depending on my needs. The first call from them was kind of weird, it was this whole "please tell me your life story and the principal characters in it" and the lady on the other side was ok but also went into tangents about herself (which I totally expected to happen - next time you talk to me, ask me what I really think about counselling). It was ok in that I got to complain to a semi-neutral ear, but bad in that, here we go again, I do more listening than talking and feel like I've wasted my time because they aren't really listening, they are pausing until there is a gap and then talking talking talking. Ugh.

Ok, time to go pick out a movie to watch with the kids (read: fall asleep to).

Oh, man. I can't even tell you how much this amused me.

New Kids On the Block Reuniting

I just want to know... why?

In other news, my whole family has been sick - S has pneumonia and has been off work for about a week and a half now, the man asked me to take him to the hospital TWICE that is how sick he is. We thought for sure C had gotten it when she fell ill last Saturday, carrying all the same symptoms as S, but she managed to bounce back the way kids do with plenty of bedrest. K is of course now home with similar symptoms but not as bad, however because he still has a fever (they've all had a fever of about 39-40 this whole time - that's 102-104 to ye Americans out there) he is staying home.

I am mentally physically emotionally exhausted, and all this taking care of sick people has finally caught up with me. Chest heavy, bones achey, I want to just sleep forever. But I can't, because I am the mom and I still have to get stuff done. The dad in this situation is busy resting and trying to get better. I don't have this luxury, although I did indulge and call in sick yesterday at work - only to stay home and care for K who is pretty demanding when he is ill - like papa like boy I suppose.

I feel terrible that S feels so bad but even he is getting on my last nerve - I told him I wasn't feeling well and he got all sarcastic in my face and said "gee I have no idea how that feels" and I snapped right back at him "Oh right, I forgot that all sympathy must be directed at you at all times." This made him laugh at least but I was fuming - I am tired and I have been up all hours and I have been making home made chicken soup (I mean from scratch people - I am badass like that) and running to 5 different stores because nobody seems to carry dayquil & nyquil anymore (and it had to be those items, nothing else would do) and brewing tea and still helping the kids out and making sure everyone is eating and has plenty of fluids. See what this does to me? It makes me write run-on sentences that is likely going to give more than one friend reading this the hives.

In between all this I have been helping mother-in-law with preparations for Sunday - it's father-in-law's dad's 80th and they are having an open house for him. Insert rant about ungrateful old men here. I don't even want to go there, ok? It's just going to wind me up. And on Saturday is a surprise 50th for my friend Mickey's dad, and I feel like a bag of hell but I really want to go because I haven't seen Mickey or his family in a long time, and I miss him so very much. He was my best friend all through high school and university and he is a chef in St. Catherine's now so I never get to see him really. Sigh.

Ok I think I've ranted enough for one day, the exercise has taken me about an hour to write all this when normally it would take a few minutes. My head is spinny and I need to lie down for a while (for ever if I had the opportunity) before driving C to school (because I'm still expected to do that in spite of the fact that I feel like I would really like to just die, because at least that way I'd be resting).

How have YOU been?

Huzzah, the Vatican has been huffing vapors and has come up with a list of 7 new dazzling sins for us to commit and thus tip the scales ever further to the "going to hell" side of things:

1. “Bioethical” violations such as birth control

2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

More here.

I don't even want to get into what I see wrong with more than a couple of these, but rest assured there is no way in hell I will be making my children feel bad especially about numero uno. Screw that noise.

In other news, I've been carrying a migraine along for about 6 days now. The meds I've been given help control the pain to a small degree (at least I'm not vomiting or wishing I was dead or wishing I could just rip my eyes out of their sockets in the hopes of relieving the pressure) but the numbness is still there as well as occasional facial spasm. I bet you all wanted to know that. Call me the Tick.

Maybe the migraines are a result of God punishing me for using birth control. Oh, the humanity.

Time to rest. Later, taters!

Went and saw Juno on Sunday with my friend Hammer. Since both our husbands had no wish to see it, but we both did, we decided to go without them. There was a bit of a fun mix-up as far as meeting up at the theatre, but we made it and all was well. Except the popcorn. That sort of tasted like it had been festering there for a year or so. But I digress.

The movie was good, though terribly unrealistic. Full of clever lines, and some things I could relate to and remember. I can see why it got so many accolades, but at the same time it isn't life-changing work here. It was just a good, clever movie that I enjoyed. You know what I found terribly amusing? Jason Bateman singing Hole's "Doll Parts". Fantastic.

I've been pretty busy and there is just so much that I am tired even thinking about writing it all down. I think it must be a tradition for me that my February is always rife with drama, doctors, and depression. I think that last bit just comes because of the former two.

Tonight is a parent council meeting, it's the dinner one where we all go meet at a place I would almost never eat, and exchange pleasantries we don't mean, and skirt around issues we have skirted around a million times before. Somehow Hammer managed to get conned into going though, so at least I'll have someone there that is beyond the "small talk" stage with me. It isn't that I'm a snob, or anything like that. It's more that... oh I can't explain it and there's no use trying. I just feel like I'm on a very different wavelength from most of the parents there. I don't know if it's an age thing (if someone tells me I'm just a baby one more freaking time I swear to God I'm going to punch them with my little baby fist. I'm 31 years old for crying out loud and I've likely seen more than most of the women there could dream of, thank you very much. Except you Hammer, you can call me a baby, I get that you don't really mean it) or if it's just that I don't care how much money a person makes, or what their husbands do for a living. I don't know.

I was driven home from work last night by my boss. She had a co-worker follow us home, and she drove me home in my neon. I literally saw stars and only stars - focus was impossible and my head felt like it was being crushed in a vise. My right arm was tingling, then it was on fire, then it went numb. Then the same thing happened to my face. I got in the door after she brought me home and I crashed on the couch. Hard. S brought me some meds and then I managed somehow to crawl up into bed.

I don't remember much after that except for S waking me up telling me he had to go to work, and I had to at least get myself on the couch so that there was parental presence among the young fry. I told C that I couldn't take her to guides and she said ok, that was fine. Then she called her friend Z to say she wouldn't be going, and Z said they could come get her. You know how there is that friend that would just drop everything to help you? That is Hammer. I can't even tell you how glad I am for her, I keep meaning to do something nice to thank her but there isn't enough time for me to even breathe lately, and I know she doesn't expect anything in return (she knows I would do the same for her in a heartbeat) but I still want to.


Ok, time to get the kids off to school. Thankfully my vision is back, although my head still hurts. Aren't tumors fun?

For the first time ever, as in ever in my entire life, I bought a lottery ticket for myself yesterday. I don't know what impulses were working there, but it just seemed like the thing to do.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I am so sick and damn tired of snow it isn't funny.

In other news, I'm knitting GIR and I just finished one of his arms and realized I forgot to switch to grey after doing his shoulder in blue and now I'm all flustered and angry and I realize I'm going to have to rip it out but I just finished the damn thing and doing a four-string I-cord on 4 separate needles is HARD do you hear me????? The gad danged needles keep slipping and ARGH! If this weren't for my sister-in-law I would have done with it and feed the yarn to the cat already.

*heave*

*sigh*

Ok.

Today is the last day of vacation for the kids, and frankly I'm glad because they are driving each other and as a result ME up the bend. They stay at grandma's while I'm at work for the 5 hrs a day I'm required to go in, but the minute I'm home they are like rockets, ROCKETS I TELL YOU around the house. But ANGRY ROCKETS that shoot laser beams at each other all the damn time but the laser beams in this scenario are sharp pointy YELLING WORDS.

I have that stupid damn Amy Winehouse song stuck in my head and it won't go away and I want to gnash my teeth.

To end this post on a happy note I found out yesterday that one of my co-workers is having a baby in July. This is happy news because she's had some real trouble not only conceiving but managing to keep a baby in her belly over the 3 month mark. So hooray! I'm very glad for her as she is the type that truly wants a million kids and stuff.

Ok off to make breakfast for my family. Ciao.

I don't know what to do with K anymore. Third note home since November 5th with regards to his being rough and picking on, of all people, his best friend. All three incidents involved his friend, all three incidents he "said he was sorry" and had to go to the principal. I have no fucking idea what to do with him as our typical punishments don't seem to be getting through.

What really makes me irate is that just this morning, he and I had a long talk about his behavior and he PROMISED he would behave. Promised me like there was no tomorrow. So imagine my surprise when I find at the bottom of his school bag (which was soaking wet for the third time in a row because yet again, he didn't put his water bottle in his lunch bag and also left the damn bottle open) another note from his teacher explaining that, yet again, he has done something not very nice to his friend. This time around he threw snow down his friend's coat and hat. Last time he had pushed his friend into a block of ice. The time before, oh god I can't even remember.

I was so mad I was crying. I'm at my wit's end and have no idea how to get it through to him, that if he continues to behave this way, a few not so nice things will happen. First he will lose every last one of his friends. Nobody likes a bully. Second, he'll probably get suspended or expelled. Thirdly... I don't even want to think about it. The path he is walking is not a good one. And it just kills me because he is such a good boy, deep down, and has such a good heart, and I don't know where all of this aggression is coming from. He says he just can't control himself sometimes and this is what he does to let out whatever is in him. I say he needs to learn and real damn quick son because: my wit's end? Yeah. I'm there.

So I'm at a point where, do I do the thing I really don't want to do, and not give him the main thing he really wants for Christmas, to teach him something? Or do I try and figure out something else? My dad would say just tan his hide until he can't sit for a week, and while in a way I'm tempted, it would just be sending the kid the worst kind of mixed message.

I don't know. And I'm so upset, and I'm embarrassed because I really like the family of his friend, and there are only so many phone calls I can make to apologise before even I don't want to hear it anymore. What do I do? I don't know. I don't know. The only thing I can do right now is cry. I'm so frustrated.

BREAK-INS - Sat. November 10
Police are investigating three residential break and enters that occured on Friday. The break-ins occured on Romeo St, Gregory Cres, and Glendon Rd, while the residents were away during the afternoon and evening hours. Stolen from the houses were various pieces of jewelry, a laptop, and a digital camera. Entry was made through open windows and doors. City residents are encouraged to lock their homes at all times including daytime hours, and are asked to report suspicious activity immediately to Police. Anyone with information regarding these crimes are asked to call Police.

Ok, let's forget about all the damn typos (I've already ranted before about the unprofessional editing of the radio site), and get on with the bolded part. I bolded that one part because it's been a point of discussion before among friends who think I'm crazy for locking my doors & windows at all times (well maybe not the windows part but I tend to have a rather draconian habit of making sure every last bit of the house is locked up before leaving or bedtime). People here need to learn that no matter how "small" this city may seem to them, it's still a city and it's a place where hello, half the homes on Ontario street have at some point run a drug house or meth lab; a lady got attacked in a CHURCH for crying out loud; murder occurs here just as it would anywhere else. Theft and getting your place broken into is not out of bounds here people. Hell half the time depending on what area of town I'm in I even lock up my car, in spite of the fact that sometimes I wish someone would steal it so we could replace it. Hah.

Ok rant off, time to get K to school (C is not feeling well - upset tummy all weekend, still feeling off-kilter and she has a bit of a fever and head aches). I have today off, hurrah hurrah hurrah!

Please please please tell me that they are just hiring 5th graders or something to update the "news" section of the local radio station's website. Please. Because this... I have no words.

Here's what is getting my goat. See if you can spot the errors:

MARIHUANA HARVEST - Thu. October 4
Police have concluded this years marihuana eridication - destroying nearly 18-hundred plants. The biggest outdoor grow-ops were discovered September 14th in (removed location because that is just how I roll, so ignore this stuff that isn't italics.) - with 973 marihuana plants being seized. In total plants having an estimated street value of 1.8 million dollars were seized during the summer. None of the property owners are believed to be involved in the production of marihuana. In most cases, people trespass onto the property to plant the marihuana, damaging farmer's fields in the process.

I have half a mind to write a letter to the editor on this, since this isn't the first time I've noticed glaring errors that make my eyes just want to pull themselves out of my skull. Maybe I'm being a pedantic bitch, but my God people. Someone out there is getting good money to publish news - the least they could do is edit the damn thing before posting.

(I realize I may sound like a hypocrite nit-picking about this, what with my run-on sentence structures here and forgetting to use the basic points of grammar (forgetting to capitalize things, etc), but the only thing you are missing is that this, my blog, is my words just being spewed out willy-nilly half the time. When I'm writing things for really real, I'm pretty damn picky.)

/rant off.

So I've been a bad, bad girl and haven't updated this. My last post I was obviously drunk... which I apologize for but I won't delete it. It made me titter.

Apparently I wrote a lot of drunken emails that night - if you were a recipient, I hope it amused.

How I got to that point is simple enough - my sister in law invited me out last Saturday night. But let's get the rest of the updates over with first.

Friday K had a Father's Day Breakfast at his class, similar to the Mother's Day thing his class did for us moms, but minus the squaredancing and tea. Instead they put on a few plays, and the men were served muffins and juice. K was so very, very happy and pleased that S went. S particularly took the day off just so he could go - seems like a small thing to do but K was giddy beyond belief over it. S was Father of the Year for it, to be sure.

Friday night, uh... Gee I can't even remember! How bad is that? It was only a week ago... well that should tell you just how much I've been cramming into my days lately. Let's just gloss over Friday night and move on to Saturday.

Saturday, we went over to my folks' house for an early Father's Day barbecue. It was delicious as usual, and then my parents wanted the kids to stay over, which I was fine with as it's been a long while since they've spent time with my parents. So we came home and my sister in law called me and invited me out. S could come too if he wanted; he opted to stay in instead. Said something about enjoying some peace and quiet? I dunno. I told sisterinlaw I was dead broke and wouldn't be able to afford going out, and she said we'd just compromise by my paying next time. Fine by me.

We went to the Boar's Head, and drank and drank. Her co-workers were there, which was fine as I'd met most of them before. There was one lad there from England though who of course was madly in love with her because that's what happens to about 90% of the gents that work with her. Anyway. We got into a heated debate once he found out I was Portuguese - whined about how we robbed England of their chance to win the World Cup, and my saying they were just being a bunch of big nancy crybabies. And then we debated about other nonsense things, and every time I said something clever he kept shaking his fist at me and muttering "Portugueeeeese!" but it was all in good fun.

Then his folks came 'round, which was interesting - they are divorced but they're best friends. I don't know, whatever works right? So they got into the whole thing and the boy was embarassed to have them there but we didn't mind, they were good folks and lots of laughter was involved. Except his old man was coming on to me, which was slightly uncomfortable, but he's English, right? So I expected it. (Let's play a game called "How many stereotypes can I perpetuate in one blog post?")

They forgave me for being Portuguese, because at least I was passionate about football, and understood where they were coming from. Most Canadians don't really follow the game, so they don't get where we're coming from. I kept reminding them I was Canadian, I just was of Portuguese origin, which they waved away because it was a moot point to them.

So after all that the topic was switched to deep, philosophical things, like who was the best Batman... you know, the typical drunken garbage. The night ended at Bentley's for last call somehow, and then I walked sister in law home to her new apartment (which KICKS ASS by the bye, she just needs to paint it - her living room is painted like the outside of a BARN. No joke, but I digress...) and then I talked her ear off for about an hour, then cabbed it home.

Got home, wrote drunken text, woke S up because dammit I still felt like talking. Yapped his ear off, fooled around, fell asleep. That was about... 5? I think 5 by the time I fell asleep.

Woke up at um... six-thirty? Possibly seven. Wide awake so I went crawling downstairs and watched tv... it had to be early because infomercials were still on.

S came down eventually, took pity on me, went and got me coffee and a breakfast sandwich from Timmies. Made a joke about how this was his day off, I should be taking care of him. I snapped back that every damn day is Father's Day as far as I'm concerned, and reminded him of how my Mother's Day went, and he just laughed and told me to go back to sleep. Which I didn't, because then the kids came home.

Sunday we went to the in-laws' for Father's Day barbecue part deux, so yay I didn't have to cook! I certainly wasn't in any condition to do so.

Monday came and went, had to pick C up from school because she hurt her arm and they weren't sure if it was broken or not. Four hours at the hospital, one x-ray to confirm what I already knew but had to make sure of, and home we went.

Wednesday my boss held a bbq for us... which is to say on Monday he made eye contact with me and said, "G, please come here a moment" and then got me to plan everything for him. Which I don't mind because I like doing this kind of thing, but at the same time can be a bit aggravating.
The bbq was good though, and everyone contributed a side dish of some sort, and it put us in a good mood which was pretty important because it was the week from HELL. If this is any indication of how busy we are going to be for the entire summer, they should seriously reconsider staffing. The thing is, there isn't enough room in our department to put more bodies in, so I don't know where we'd put extra people, but it's obvious that we need the extra people, because we are simply being SMASHED with calls.

Chatted on and off w/Mr D, who is more or less dependent on me for wedding details for his brother, since nobody is telling him anything. Since he's in Geneva I can see why there would be a communication gap of sorts, but nobody has even made an attempt. I mean come on, his contact information is out there - you don't have to call or anything, just email. Whatever. It's been good to talk to him, as it's probably been about 15 years since we've done so. Playing catch up in between all the wedding business. He is amazed I am married with kids, doubly so when I remind him that not only do I have kids, but they are nine and six-going-on-seven. He's dying to meet them, dying to meet S.

So this past Friday, we had a gathering at Othello's because one lady was leaving, but also just to have an excuse to sit on a patio and socialize outside of work, since we seldom get the chance to do so during work. It was nice and pleasant, and then I got a text from sister in law who was at work but in a lot of pain due to, uh, girl complaints. So I went and rescued her, bought her a hot water bottle (she didn't have one, and it didn't occur to her that it would help) and then brought her home. She was pretty damn pale - I think part of the complaints being so bad was because she's been working herself into the ground lately, and the last time she actually had a day off she used to move to her new place. No down time can be pretty taxing on the body. Add to that the stress of living with someone who drives her absolutely batshit (don't even get me started on this bent - it's a very long story and this post is getting long enough as is).

Took care of sister in law, came home, fell asleep watching the Karate Kid. Yesterday, S made us brunch of french toast, sausage, bacon, and hash browns. Ever eat to the point where you're just content? Stomach full, feeling sort of sleepy-happy? Yeah, that was the feeling I got after brunch.

Yesterday afternoon, C and my mom and I went out shopping. C still had money from her birthday to spend, so we took her to her favorite store - Old Navy. I'm not even kidding, she LOVES that store. She got a new shirt & a bag and then wanted to spend the rest of her money on a tamagotchi so we got her one, had a quick supper, and came home. Went and rented some movies for K, who was feeling out of sorts and left out, and one of sister-in-law's co-workers is now giving him a giant Stitch (from Lilo & Stitch) for his room. K is giddy over this.

Which brings us to today... lazy day but no, not really, as I've been cleaning like a madwoman all morning. I think this is enough updating for one day. I pinky-swore I'd be better about the updating and I am sticking by that promise.

So C is having a sleepover for her birthday this weekend. All but one of the girls she invited can come, which makes her hella happy. S has already made an escape plan and is taking K with him, the bugger.

Since I'm one of those boring moms, it's going to be a pretty laid-back type thing. They are making their own little pizzas on greek pitas for supper, that will waste about an hour's worth of time. Then there will be snacks, I think I'm going to set up Scene-It for them, and of course the typical movies-popcorn-craziness that goes on. Girls are pretty easy - they can entertain themselves for hours. I've started on their grab bags - those will be nifty at least. The decorations are the bomb (thanks Jackie). I think I'm going to set up the movies in C's room after a certain point, so they can do that whole giggle giggle let's stay up all night and talk talk talk and not sleep until morning stuff that girls are wont to do.

I had forgotten the next day was Mother's Day though. D'oh! I think most of the moms who agreed to let their daughters stay over also forgot. Either that or they remembered, and thought "Woo! I just bought myself an extra hour or so of sleep!"


Bah, I had more to say but I'm running out of time so to be brief:

- Toronto Star can lick my nads. I told them to cancel my damn subscription and they go and charge it on my card anyway.
- I can't believe C will be nine.
- C had to write a paragraph on why it isn't cool to mutter mean things to oneself under one's breath because god forbid she do that instead of lashing out (don't get me started).
- K's rash type thing is almost all gone - woo!
- I keep forgetting to call someone and I need to. Memo to self: call.
- I still haven't picked up Ysabel (Sir T, hush. I already told you why)
- I need sleep and it yet again evades me.
- I keep forgetting about my own breakfast and it's making me ravenous at work. Note to self: pack a damn lunch already.

Here's an article from CNN, which I'll paste some of it here because 3 months from now the damn link won't work anyway. If Reuters sues me for it they really need to get a life. My comments of outrage are in italics.

Scientists unearth Superman's 'kryptonite'

"We will have to be careful with it -- we wouldn't want to deprive Earth of its most famous superhero!," said Dr Chris Stanley, a mineralogist at London's Natural History Museum.

Dr. Chris Stanley, I am horrified that you would unearth a substance that you know - YOU KNOW - will kill Superman. For shame, Dr. Chris Stanley. For shame.

Stanley, who revealed the identity of the mysterious new mineral, discovered the match after searching the Internet for its chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide.

"I was amazed to discover that same scientific name written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns," he said.

Curse you internet! Curse you, terrible movie about Superman!

But instead of the large green crystals in Superman comics, the real thing is a white, powdery substance which contains no fluorine and is non-radioactive.

Um. Well. That's interesting? And they're naming the rock Jadarite??? What the hell, Science. What. The. Hell.

Almost done the Poitier memoir. It's brilliant and makes me feel like I'm having a conversation with him. Or maybe even my Dad. The parallels between their lives is almost spooky in some ways.

Do you know what chore I hate more than any other? The number one thing I wish I could never do again? Dishes. That's right. I'd rather scrub at a dirty bathtub for a month of Sundays than scrub at dishes.

So needless to say it drives me batty when my family seem to have started a silent war against my sanity by using every god damned dish in the house to make a peanut butter sandwich. Sweet baby Jesus that drives me nuts. You can tell how nuts it drives me by the number of blasphemies I utter.

Also needless to say, but I'm saying it damnit, I really really hate it when S brings home dishes from work and doesn't rinse them out or anything - just leaves it on the counter, lid on, or sometimes leaves it in his lunchbag for a day or two so that the mold has time to set in. Uggggh. God I hate that.

I'm really looking forward to the trip this weekend but now I'm worried about the weather. I don't want to be stuck in that city if I can help it - I also don't want to be stuck on a train if I can help it. Hmmm.

Ok I'm tired and cranky and guess what? There's dishes to be done.

Hahah.

You know what I hate? When I am not given enough information to perform the one thing that needs to be performed today, and all the people that would be available to give me said information have fallen off the planet, and I have to do it TODAY, motherfookers, and no, I have no choice in the matter.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Ok so today I woke up and it sounded like my ears were under water. Is this how fish hear? That totally sucks.

For some reason I now have the song "It's raining men" stuck in my head, probably because I flicked through channels last night and Bridget Jones was on the telly and it was the scene where the guys fight. I dunno. The song just makes me laugh though.

Ok it's time to get my ass in gear and get ready for work, and hopefully get an answer sometime TODAY so I can get myself to the post office. Grrrrrr.

I drink much more than I ought to drink
Because it brings me back you...

I've had a strong craving to get very, very drunk, if only so that I can shut everything off for a while. Went back to yoga yesterday after taking a break last time around - my body was still in too much pain then. Yesterday was no different and I found myself having to take breaks between positions as my hips and lower belly region are still tender. Sisterinlaw was there as well and we went out for a light meal afterward, and then I hung out at her house a while. Talked a little, cried a little. She's also going through some rough things right now - March is a very hard time of year for her as she is still putting to paid her grief over her ex's death. I'm trying to think of something to do for her, take her to some distraction. We'll see.

A friend of mine is getting married in August - the 25th, to be exact, which is my father's birthday. While I'm happy for her, at the same time I think she's crazy to be planning it so soon - especially since she's marrying a Portuguese lad. You need at LEAST a year to plan those types of weddings. Part of the reason they are planning so soon however is because she is wanting to have another child, but wants to be married first. Her son from her first marriage will probably be terribly put out about that - he was more or less King of the Mountain all this time, and has had some trouble adjusting to two new step-siblings. A new baby in the mix would be pretty disconcerting, although in my deep down parts I admit that it (and a good spanking) is something he has had coming for a while now. This kid is trouble with a capital T - mostly because my friend lets him do whatever he wants and lets him walk all over her because she doesn't want to discipline him. Her first husband was pretty abusive and in her mind discipline = abuse - I'm sorry, but for some kids the corner isn't enough. Especially if you don't enforce it. What's hilarious is, she's a babysitter full time. She has no issue whatsoever with the kids she babysits - enforces good behavior, puts them in corners or timeouts or whatever - it's just her own kid.

I finished M's baby blanket, brought it to her and she loves it of course. She's getting antsy - only 6 weeks to go! I'm excited for her, but it's a little bittersweet. I choke that part of me down, because practical me knows things turned out the way they did for very good reason.

I am going stir crazy though. I need to get OUT - and can't really because S is on afternoon shift this week again, and while I could take the kids with me (and frequently do) I need ME time very badly.

C started taking violin lessons a couple weeks ago. She's actually pretty good at it, and about it. She practices every day without any prompting; partially I think it's because she wants to catch up to her friend's level. The teacher is super nice, and clearly knows what she's doing. Her methods make sense to a degree - Suzuki teaching is a much different structure to anything I've really been exposed to, but the theory is solid.

Hey you know what? I'm tired.

And yes, I'm aware that I complain too much.

Also, for an odd change, my email inbox yielded no new messages this weekend. Kind of creepy actually.

We got more snow than we know what to do with. I had to shovel the driveway twice yesterday morning - a daunting task at the best of times, but considering my current medical issues, it was damn hard and hurty. S was sleeping at the time being on the late shift this week, and I didn't have the heart to wake him. Eventually a neighbor took pity on me and helped shovel out what the plow had done to the end of my drive. K tried to help too with his little plastic shovel - I give the kid A for effort.

I'm so tired these days - my sleep schedule is all a-kilter.

I'm also sick and tired of snow.

I once wrote something about it, also in February. It's as true now as it was then...

I'm tired of the cold. I want lemonade and flopsy shoes and little umbrellas in my drinks.

I take it back. I want one further. I want twiddling toes in grassy knolls and laying on the sweet grass looking for four leaf clovers. I want the sun kissing my shoulders and the warm winds. I want daisy chains and lazy bees and the smell of rain.

I want one further. I want warm rain storms and running through them shrieking and feeling alive. I want chalk on the pavement and skipping because I can.

Fresh cut grass and running through sprinklers. Hearing the kids on their bikes with cards attached to the spokes. Tapoketa-poketa-poketa. Barbecue smells from the neighbors. Baby frogs in the garden. Crickets in the evenings.

I want one further. I want the stars so bright they make me breathless. Lying on the ground and staring up at them and wishing. And wishing.

Swinging on swings, legs dangling and tossing myself up so high I can almost fly. I want the air through my hair as I swing to the clouds. I want sunshine and wildflowers and sandy feet.

Rubber shoes on the pavement, thump thump thump as they run by. Children laughing. Popsicles dribbling down my arm as my mouth tries to beat the sun at consuming them. I want one further. I want the smell of fresh lilacs growing outside my window, breezing in. I want comfort. I want home.