Reading a CNN article stating that "Men are buying more clothes than women", I found it interesting that they felt the only reason for the disparity between men and women purchasing more/less clothing is that "Women's wear has painted themselves in a corner. By offering too many options and with everything a trend, it is very easy not to buy anything," and did not perhaps consider the fact that:

1) Hello fashion trends of the past? Please for the love of God take your unflattering clothing back. The current trend of potato sack dresses and giant shoulder pads and fantastically ugly colors and everything else is just depressing as it only really flatters a very small minority of people, who I am convinced may be some sort of hybrid alien

and

2) Excuse me, stores that sell clothing to us plebians? There's a reason why you are stuck with six million size 2 dresses that you end up having to sell at 25% the normal price, and your size 12 and up sell almost the minute you put them on the rack. When the rest of us normal people go to shop, there is nothing left for us to buy that would actually fit us.

and of course

3) Men do like to look good, believe it or not. Kudos to the fact that the current trend seems to come to realize this and is apparently appealing - so no wonder men are actually buying things for themselves. One of the reasons I think the whole "metrosexual" thing took off is because the media finally gave men permission to look good without feeling weird about it.

Of course, I also have to remind myself that this article was published by CNN, not exactly the most reliable news source to begin with, but the article just made me sort of snort out a laugh and wonder if perhaps the producers of Mad Men paid CNN to plug them in an inadvertent way. (PS I have not seen last Sunday's episode so please do not say anything about it until later - I am watching it on demand tonight.)

Ok, insipid rant about things I have no expertise on done.

Who wants these awesome glasses?

This girl. That's who.

Went out with Sir T last night (considered changing the moniker to Sir Pan, for reasons too long to get into here, but for now Sir T he remains) and fed him beer while we caught up on our daily lives as well as other stuff. It is great to have a friend like him, and I think it is seriously necessary that every woman have at least one male friend they can talk to, to get their perspective on, or to even just chit chat with. I feel that it is a mutual thing here - I give him female perspective on things as well, and a neutral one at that as our friendship circles are very different. In any case, it was my turn to drive him, let him drink, and talk talk talk. And laugh! I needed a laugh. I really, really needed the laugh.

Here is the thing. Every time we get together, we always say the same two things: "I'm so glad I can talk to you" and "we should get together more often". Which is followed up by the latter item not really happening, in spite of the former statement. Mostly because our lives are scheduling nightmares, also because it's just one of those things. Something we hope to amend. One thing I am thankful for, is that S is good about this. He trusts me, knows me well enough to know there isn't any hanky-panky going on. Also I suspect he believes Sir T is terrified of him - which could quite possibly be true, but isn't an issue here. S is a big guy - you don't want to see the Hulk get angry, all that jazz, but the truth is, Sir T is a pretty upstanding guy, has a good moral backbone. Clark Kent with a serious need to save the world, one drunken mishap at a time.

Enough on that. On to the London trip. The night before I went with C & my mother to London, at around 3 am the fire alarm started beeping intermittently. We couldn't sense any fire, etc, but to be safe S cut off the electricity for upstairs and then I stayed up the remainder of the morning until the kids got up, worrying about fire anyway. The issue was, the alarm is older than dinosaurs and finally just went kaput, not with a bang but a clatter and clang. On barely any sleep, I drove myself and C and my mom to London. We did a bit of shopping, and then went to our hotel to check in. The suite was really nice - like a little apartment almost. Fridge, stove top, microwave, dishwasher, the whole shebang. Two humongous beds, living room, etc. C was in Heaven and immediately began unpacking and settling her things in. We rested up a bit in the room, C played on my laptop for a while (whee, free wireless with the room! Fantastic!) and then we went out shopping some more. This weekend was about my C, so she got to direct us to the stores she wanted. Most of the things I bought this weekend were for my kids, and C made out like a bandit as usual. There was a pool in the hotel so C and I went swimming after supper while my mom took a little nap.

Breakfast the next morning inclusive and buffet style, fit for a king. C in her glory - all the bacon she could eat! Muffins! Waffles! Eggs & home fries! Seriously, it was wonderful, and you don't often get to say that about hotel faire.

Came home to S & K playing a new Wii game, the new fire alarm installed & a new light for the upstairs hall as well. I was just pooched - no sleep, driving all over hell's half-acre all weekend. Took a nap and felt refreshed, and glad I managed to squeeze in a little mini-break for C and me. She's getting to a tricky age, and I feel it is incredibly important to make time for just her and I. K takes up a lot of my time, and I don't want C feeling as though she is left out all the time. C was in her glory and you can tell - she really enjoyed our time away. Next year we'll probably just go back to London - while Toronto was nice, it's hectic and I hate driving there, the cost of everything is ridiculous, grumblemumble complaincomplain, walking barefoot in the snow uphill backwards, kids these days and their crazy rock music.

Health-wise, nothing new to report. The meds work wonderfully. They carried me through a migraine that lasted 14 days. I want you to think about that - 14 days of your head feeling like there is a vise gripping it, your eyes twitching and sometimes seeing stars. Feeling like if you could only just reach in and pull them out of their sockets, the pressure might go away awhile. Feeling like you wish someone would stop pushing down on the top of your head with a jackhammer. Fourteen days of it. The meds helped as far as the not needing to vomit and the eyes mostly obeying, took the edge off the pain, but not much more than that.

How is it that I'm still sane again?

I don't know.


I have that Rolling Stones song "Play with Fire" stuck in my head, because of that movie the Darjeeling Limited. I sort of liked the movie, sort of didn't. I like Wes Anderson films, that is something in his favor, but I found one or two of his casting decisions rather poor, and parts of the film could have gone better. In general it was okay though. And his song choices are always spot on, thus the earwig digging into me chanting "but don't play with me cause you're playing with fire"...

I can't believe it's almost Easter already. Hammer sent me some fun factoids about this being the earliest Easter we'll ever see in our lifetime. It's pretty neat, and amazing to think on - time is such a funny, funny thing that way. Hammer is another person I need to spend more time with. Again, life is a nightmare, bla bla bla.

Ok, I should probably go make the most of my morning off by getting the kids' Easter things together. We're going for low-key this year - get them what they need maybe, mostly some chocolate eggs or whatnot.

I'm typing this from our hotel suite in London. C, my mother and I took off for the weekend. I'll keep this short until later but a few tidbits:

- woke up to a fire alarm going off at home (don't worry, no fire, long story)
- mmm bacon
- shopping
- a hotel room with a kitchen!

Okie day. Later.

Ugh. SNOW! Freaking. Snow.


Sigh.

I can't seriously be the only one that hates this weather.

In other news... my friends are going through the same hoops that S & I had to go through last year to get a Wii. Hopes up, hopes sunk. Hopes up, hopes sunk. Lather, rinse, repeat. My sister-in-law is doing what she can to help, and I assured them that we didn't end up getting one until Christmas was practically in our laps, but it got done. Still, I know how it feels to be in the uncomfortable position of simply not knowing if it will happen or not.

Speaking of sister-in-laws, I am knitting her a green version of the Jayne hat, taking a break from the sweater I was knitting because while it's beautiful, the lady who wrote the pattern was off by a few things and I had to do a lot of patch-ups where she missed stitch instructions etc. I figure it out but I need a breather. All that's left is the sleeves, and a hat is a pretty quick knit nowadays. I couldn't have said that a year ago - it took me a month to make my first hat - but now I can whip those up in a heartbeat.

Ok off to shovel the rest of my driveway and uh, go window shopping I guess?

Ciao.

So because I'm crazy and also still not feeling well, watched V for Vendetta last night. After the brief power outage, that is.

Lights went off, the kids went a bit squirrely, and insisted we all camp out in my bedroom (I got a new bedroom set, by the by, and it is ten different kinds of awesome. S & I painted the room as well and now it feels like a refuge, which is incredibly important to me in ways you cannot imagine).

It's fucking SNOWING. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. I am so not prepared for this crap already. Sent the kids to school in winter jackets, hats & mitts, but lo and behold their boots simply do NOT fit. So guess who's shopping for boots this week? Not an easy feat when your daughter fits into a ladies' size 7 boot. Thank god flats seem to be in this season, I could not imagine spending a zillion dollars on flat boots simply because the only kind available are the super expensive sporty kind (which is almost what happened last year).

I want to go knitting shopping this weekend, although my darling S would say that it is crazy talk, and why do I have to have all this damn yarn, etc. Except that this mission is actually a mission to help Hammer learn to knit fair isle style, and therefore this is a purchase for the greater good. Is it my fault that in the process I will end up with a kick-ass skirt at the end of it? The greater good.

S really loves it when I rationalize things like that. Our conversations like these usually ends up with him laughing at me because I say it so seriously, like our life is a sit-com and I'm just churning out the lines. And he's my personal laugh-track. I haven't taught him to go "Awwwww" at the really sweet moments yet, but I'm sure we'll get there.

My cousin Lola just called & my uncle is doing much better, though he's hardly back to par, there's a long way to go there. I miss her.

Ok time to go do... stuff...

This just in: I have not fallen off the planet. I have just been extremely busy.

Wedding went over well, I was given many compliments no my role as MC so hurrah for that. Got to see some old friends I haven't seen in a long time, and scored some chocolate from Geneva - woo hoo! S got along famously with JD which was both hilarious and a relief. It makes things much nicer when boys get along. They bonded over food of all things, which I suppose is the typical Portuguese route.

Helped my sisinlaw make props and decorations for her workplace - they are having some sort of "stars" promotional event, so we decked the place out like an Academy Awards extravaganza. I had the brilliant idea to get some cheap Ken dolls from the dollar store and paint them gold, and prop them on stands. Voila! Instant Oscar. All of her employees are dressed up in formal wear for the event as well. It looks fantastic and she got a lot of compliments from their district manager, so she's happy happy happy.

School is in session next week - I can't wait to get back into routine. I love autumn, have I ever mentioned this? It's may most favorite of the seasons. October is my favorite month (ergo getting married in October) but in general I love the fall. The air just seems sweeter and full of promise. It is a time of new beginnings in a lot of ways, and to me it is the true mark of the beginning of a year. And school supplies. I cannot get enough of new school supplies. You thought my shoe fetish was bad - it doesn't hold a candle to the absolute need to get new school supplies. And I haven't been in school in a long long time.

Got the kids their back-to-school gear this weekend - phew. There goes all that extra money I was making doing overtime. Oh well, it is money well spent as far as I am concerned. The kids' shoe sizes multiplied over the summer. C is in a ladies' 7!!!! K is a size 4 boys which is ok by me, at least it's still easy to find shoes his size. C on the other hand - it is very hard to find something that isn't either a bajillion dollars, or comes with a six inch heel. Honest to Pete. Can't wait till winter... siiiiigh.

I should really be doing laundry right now but I'm sort of skivving off from it at the moment - there is so damn much to do around this house to set it back in order, and I'm just too tired from not sleeping enough lately. So I keep picking things up and putting them down again, wondering where to start. I realize that is a piss-poor way to make a wuss attempt at cleaning, but today I really don't care, so neener neener.

There was a mothers' get together last week that I missed - judging from the photos I missed a VERY good time. I'm sure the opportunity will come again though.

There's also something about autumn that makes me want to knit more. I have been scouring knitty & magknits to find a new project. I'm thinking about this because it is so fabulously ugly and crazy, how could I possibly not want to? Everyone should have a caution tape scarf, n'est-ce pas? I'm sorely tempted to make these for the kids as well. Who doesn't liken their kids to Thing One & Thing Two now and again?

Ok, I really must be going now. Laundry. Yes. That.

So I've been a bad, bad girl and haven't updated this. My last post I was obviously drunk... which I apologize for but I won't delete it. It made me titter.

Apparently I wrote a lot of drunken emails that night - if you were a recipient, I hope it amused.

How I got to that point is simple enough - my sister in law invited me out last Saturday night. But let's get the rest of the updates over with first.

Friday K had a Father's Day Breakfast at his class, similar to the Mother's Day thing his class did for us moms, but minus the squaredancing and tea. Instead they put on a few plays, and the men were served muffins and juice. K was so very, very happy and pleased that S went. S particularly took the day off just so he could go - seems like a small thing to do but K was giddy beyond belief over it. S was Father of the Year for it, to be sure.

Friday night, uh... Gee I can't even remember! How bad is that? It was only a week ago... well that should tell you just how much I've been cramming into my days lately. Let's just gloss over Friday night and move on to Saturday.

Saturday, we went over to my folks' house for an early Father's Day barbecue. It was delicious as usual, and then my parents wanted the kids to stay over, which I was fine with as it's been a long while since they've spent time with my parents. So we came home and my sister in law called me and invited me out. S could come too if he wanted; he opted to stay in instead. Said something about enjoying some peace and quiet? I dunno. I told sisterinlaw I was dead broke and wouldn't be able to afford going out, and she said we'd just compromise by my paying next time. Fine by me.

We went to the Boar's Head, and drank and drank. Her co-workers were there, which was fine as I'd met most of them before. There was one lad there from England though who of course was madly in love with her because that's what happens to about 90% of the gents that work with her. Anyway. We got into a heated debate once he found out I was Portuguese - whined about how we robbed England of their chance to win the World Cup, and my saying they were just being a bunch of big nancy crybabies. And then we debated about other nonsense things, and every time I said something clever he kept shaking his fist at me and muttering "Portugueeeeese!" but it was all in good fun.

Then his folks came 'round, which was interesting - they are divorced but they're best friends. I don't know, whatever works right? So they got into the whole thing and the boy was embarassed to have them there but we didn't mind, they were good folks and lots of laughter was involved. Except his old man was coming on to me, which was slightly uncomfortable, but he's English, right? So I expected it. (Let's play a game called "How many stereotypes can I perpetuate in one blog post?")

They forgave me for being Portuguese, because at least I was passionate about football, and understood where they were coming from. Most Canadians don't really follow the game, so they don't get where we're coming from. I kept reminding them I was Canadian, I just was of Portuguese origin, which they waved away because it was a moot point to them.

So after all that the topic was switched to deep, philosophical things, like who was the best Batman... you know, the typical drunken garbage. The night ended at Bentley's for last call somehow, and then I walked sister in law home to her new apartment (which KICKS ASS by the bye, she just needs to paint it - her living room is painted like the outside of a BARN. No joke, but I digress...) and then I talked her ear off for about an hour, then cabbed it home.

Got home, wrote drunken text, woke S up because dammit I still felt like talking. Yapped his ear off, fooled around, fell asleep. That was about... 5? I think 5 by the time I fell asleep.

Woke up at um... six-thirty? Possibly seven. Wide awake so I went crawling downstairs and watched tv... it had to be early because infomercials were still on.

S came down eventually, took pity on me, went and got me coffee and a breakfast sandwich from Timmies. Made a joke about how this was his day off, I should be taking care of him. I snapped back that every damn day is Father's Day as far as I'm concerned, and reminded him of how my Mother's Day went, and he just laughed and told me to go back to sleep. Which I didn't, because then the kids came home.

Sunday we went to the in-laws' for Father's Day barbecue part deux, so yay I didn't have to cook! I certainly wasn't in any condition to do so.

Monday came and went, had to pick C up from school because she hurt her arm and they weren't sure if it was broken or not. Four hours at the hospital, one x-ray to confirm what I already knew but had to make sure of, and home we went.

Wednesday my boss held a bbq for us... which is to say on Monday he made eye contact with me and said, "G, please come here a moment" and then got me to plan everything for him. Which I don't mind because I like doing this kind of thing, but at the same time can be a bit aggravating.
The bbq was good though, and everyone contributed a side dish of some sort, and it put us in a good mood which was pretty important because it was the week from HELL. If this is any indication of how busy we are going to be for the entire summer, they should seriously reconsider staffing. The thing is, there isn't enough room in our department to put more bodies in, so I don't know where we'd put extra people, but it's obvious that we need the extra people, because we are simply being SMASHED with calls.

Chatted on and off w/Mr D, who is more or less dependent on me for wedding details for his brother, since nobody is telling him anything. Since he's in Geneva I can see why there would be a communication gap of sorts, but nobody has even made an attempt. I mean come on, his contact information is out there - you don't have to call or anything, just email. Whatever. It's been good to talk to him, as it's probably been about 15 years since we've done so. Playing catch up in between all the wedding business. He is amazed I am married with kids, doubly so when I remind him that not only do I have kids, but they are nine and six-going-on-seven. He's dying to meet them, dying to meet S.

So this past Friday, we had a gathering at Othello's because one lady was leaving, but also just to have an excuse to sit on a patio and socialize outside of work, since we seldom get the chance to do so during work. It was nice and pleasant, and then I got a text from sister in law who was at work but in a lot of pain due to, uh, girl complaints. So I went and rescued her, bought her a hot water bottle (she didn't have one, and it didn't occur to her that it would help) and then brought her home. She was pretty damn pale - I think part of the complaints being so bad was because she's been working herself into the ground lately, and the last time she actually had a day off she used to move to her new place. No down time can be pretty taxing on the body. Add to that the stress of living with someone who drives her absolutely batshit (don't even get me started on this bent - it's a very long story and this post is getting long enough as is).

Took care of sister in law, came home, fell asleep watching the Karate Kid. Yesterday, S made us brunch of french toast, sausage, bacon, and hash browns. Ever eat to the point where you're just content? Stomach full, feeling sort of sleepy-happy? Yeah, that was the feeling I got after brunch.

Yesterday afternoon, C and my mom and I went out shopping. C still had money from her birthday to spend, so we took her to her favorite store - Old Navy. I'm not even kidding, she LOVES that store. She got a new shirt & a bag and then wanted to spend the rest of her money on a tamagotchi so we got her one, had a quick supper, and came home. Went and rented some movies for K, who was feeling out of sorts and left out, and one of sister-in-law's co-workers is now giving him a giant Stitch (from Lilo & Stitch) for his room. K is giddy over this.

Which brings us to today... lazy day but no, not really, as I've been cleaning like a madwoman all morning. I think this is enough updating for one day. I pinky-swore I'd be better about the updating and I am sticking by that promise.

So the weekend in Toronto? Um. I don't even know where to begin.

As soon as my mom came to pick us up, C ran out and slipped on some ice and the ice was wet and melty so therefore so was her pants. We got her fixed up and changed and then stopped at Tim Horton's and sat with some coffee before going to the VIA station. I won a free donut which we grabbed for the trip there. I don't know if it's a Portuguese thing (more likely a European thing) but we have this thing where we always pack food when we take long trips. C was in her glory because my mom brought a mini-cooler bag and it was full of cookies and iced tea and strawberries and all sorts of goodies. "Look mom, there's even room for the donut!"

The train ride up was lovely, though our group was separated a little because the train was booked solid. C and I got to sit together, but my mother ended up having to sit by someone who was - believe it or not - playing World of Warcraft on his laptop the whole trip down. C was just beside herself with giddiness over the ride. I let her have the window seat of course and she was fascinated and happy.



She brought her mp3 player and hummed quietly to herself while munching on a cookie. At every stop the train took she asked me how many more stops till ours. I explained which one we were at, and some information about it, and how much longer till we got there. She got more and more restless the closer we got.

When we got to Union Station it was chaos as usual. My mother had never been on a train either so she didn't know what to expect. She was fascinated by the underground - "it's like a whole other city down here!" We took underground paths to the Royal York which she thought was cool.

We went up the winding staircase to the lobby of the hotel and it was just beautiful. They allowed us to check in early which was awesome. The lobby was full of tv & radio types, celebrating some sort of Rogers event. My mother had the foresight to ask if the hotel took corporate rates - looks like they did, and being that we both work for the institution that we do, we were eligible for the rate - hurrah!

We got to our room and it was so, so lovely. Taking photos didn't quite give the idea but it was very spacious, and the view outside our window was of the CN Tower. C really loved that.



C jumped on one of the beds and declared it was HERS, and that me and my mother would have to share the other one. She flopped into a million pillows and the look of happiness on her face was like a little slice of heaven to me. When we were finished unpacking things and exploring the room, we then went down and out into the world to head to the mall. Shockingly my mother had never been to the Eaton Centre - wonders never cease.

She and I had a mini-argument over going via The Bay - she was convinced it was a shop on its own and would not lead us to the shopping mecca that is Eaton Centre. I managed to sway her as it was pretty nippy outside. We got in and once we got into the mall proper, the two of them were like kids at Christmas - they didn't know where to go first. Information overload.

C found a Claire's and there was no question - that was to be our first stop. We traversed quite a few shops, including one of my favorites - I mean who doesn't love Old Navy right? By the end of the excursion both C and my mom were just dog tired, and we agreed to take a cab back (Yes yes I know that's pretty damn lazy considering how close the hotel was but it was freezing out and we did have a lot (A LOT) of bags and who was I to argue over a 5 dollar trip?).

We got back to our room and my mom changed into pj pants for a bit before we'd go out for dinner. C was panicking thinking it was bed time - I explained to her, it's just the way my mom operates. We turned on the tv and watched the last 20 minutes of "Man in the Iron Mask" while my mom "rested her eyes" for a bit. C whispered to me in a conspiratorial tone that "if Mootie (her pet name for my mom) doesn't wake up when it's time to go, we're leaving without her ok?"

We ended up going to Casey's for dinner which was fine by C. After a 20 minute wait for our table ("Mum, it feels like I've spent half the day waiting for things!" Welcome to Toronto, kid) we were seated and fed pretty quickly. The food was fabulous but the portions were just huge - you could have fed 3 people with my plate alone. My caesar came with a big chili pepper hanging off the glass rather than the typical accoutrements of lemon and such. C thought we should keep it to bring to S but I wasn't about to carry a chili pepper in my purse for the rest of the excursion.

After supper we walked around the city for a bit. I wanted C to see how beautiful it can be at night (homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk and all). The skydome's big light beams were flashing in the sky. "Look mom! The bat signal!" That's my girl.

We got back to the hotel and got into our pj's and vegged out on the beds & chairs. Mrs. Doubtfire was on and C had never seen it so we had snacks (more snacks were purchased elsewhere through the day because I refuse to pay 5 bucks for a small bag of hotel goodie basket M&Ms) and chit-chatted and just relaxed. C probably didn't get to sleep until about 1 am. What the hell, it's March Break right? My mom fell asleep at ten and then woke up again at 2 - I was still awake, so she decided it was time to talk. So she did. Till about 4. Then she fell asleep again and it was just me, staring at the ceiling trying to will myself to sleep. I finally managed to but then woke up around 7, up like a rocket. Stupid internal clock.

Cinnabons and hotel coffee for breakfast, while C had pop tarts (the mini cooler strikes again!) and then we packed up and went to the train station. The departures area requires we go into the station proper. This thrilled them as - well - it really is a sight to see. The opulence of Union Station is worth seeing at least once. Then we found a fruit vendor in the area where we board the trains so C and I got some apples and pears to munch on while mom watched the bags. I spotted a photo booth so C and I went in and took some photos - it's a thing we seem to do every time we have a mother-daughter outing. Then C convinced my mom to go in with her - the photos came out pretty goofy which was just great.

We got on the train and this time managed to acquire a set of four seats facing each other. Surrounded by bags, C settled in for another 2 hour trip.




If only we knew what was in store.

The rest of this story some of you may have already read/heard about from me, but for the rest of you, hold on to your hats.

We had just left the Guelph train station when I saw it happen. My daughter thankfully was oblivious - daydreaming and listening to music, looking at a book. She felt the thump-thump, and heard the train's brakes, and smelled the burning of the brakes, but didn't know what really happened until I explained it (very briefly).

A Toyota Corolla failed to stop at a railway crossing near Woolwich-Guelph Townline. As a result our train hit it. I'm not sure why - maybe they didn't see the lights and hear the bell and train horn blaring, but the car was trying to outrun the train and I saw the train hit its rear end clear off. It flew into the air and it spun like the tazmanian devil and flew into a ditch - metal flew all over the place. And then the car's engine caught fire. Blood and shrapnel everywhere. The train had tried to break but how the hell do you stop a moving train right? So they burned the breaks out and then we were stuck in the train for three hours while police and everyone tried to sort things out. In the end they ended up paying for cabs to take people to their final destinations.

I texted S on his cell when it happened and immediately he called me. "Are you ok? What happened?" and in the background his buddy JG said "Was she driving, is that why they hit something?" Leave it to him to try and diffuse something with humor. It worked a little but I was still edgy and S could tell. I told him NOT to tell K anything until we got home, just tell him we would be a little late. I wanted to tell K after we were already home so that he could see for himself that we were safe, and so his little 6 year old self wouldn't worry unnecessarily. S agreed to this but said what about his 28 year old self?

I just keep thinking about how I saw it happen and it seemed so surreal. My mother had no idea what was going on - "why did we stop? Why aren't we moving?" because she obviously didn't hear me shout "oh my god we just hit a car!" There were three passengers - two women and a nine year old boy. The boy was pronounced dead at the scene and the women were airlifted to a nearby hospital. The women are still in critical condition. The engineers have asked for a leave of absence apparently - who can blame them? How do you make amends with yourself over that, even though it was beyond your control to avoid it?

C said she never wanted to see a train again. I tried to explain to her I've been on one thousands of times, and that this sort of thing very very rarely happens, but she wasn't convinced. Today she seems to be okay with it, and has said she'd be willing to try it again, but could Daddy please come this time too?



Frankly while I remained calm the whole time, after we got home I was a wreck. Really shaken up and I just keep thinking my god imagine how the engineers feel, you know? Here's the thing. The train hit the tail of the car. I bet if the car had about 5 more seconds, it would have made it across the tracks. Five more seconds. If their day had been behind by five more seconds, they'd be alive, and it would be just another close call, lesson learned. I keep thinking about that. Five more seconds.

And now I hug my kids for five seconds longer and am just so damn thankful we're all okay.

So. How was YOUR weekend?