I've been a terrible journaller, but to be honest I've been saving up my energy for everyday life, and it leaves little left for this kind of self-indulgence. Fear not, citizens, I am alive. Not well and not whole but alive, and that is something to be thankful for.

At my doctor's behest, I've started to see a psychologist, to sort out all my current frustration and stress. I've been to a few sessions and it's going ok I guess. I have issues with the whole therapy thing but this person seems to not play any of the typical games and is genuinely trying to help me. She also thinks its ludicrous that I've been put on all sorts of pain killers and whatnot because while it is helping yes it is also not helping in that it is not treating the root cause. She's also concerned about my family doctor's laisse-faire attitude about my health these days. There's more, so much more to this, but I really don't feel like blathering on about it here.

The snow has finally hit here and it was like one day there was nothing and then suddenly the ground was covered in white. Welcome to Canada, right? Doesn't mean I have to like it. My parents have already emailed me to gloat about their lovely Mexican weather. If I could afford the holiday (both monetarily and physically) I'd be on the next plane to visit them.

With snow comes thoughts of Christmas. It's going to be a weird time without my parents around this year but I'm sure it'll be fine. I've somehow managed to get finagled into hosting Christmas Day at my house - I have zero energy for this but S has already said he'd do what he could and that we don't have to make it a huge thing and fuck his family if they don't like it, and he thinks they'll understand either way, but again if they don't too bad. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me to have this man in my corner. He is my rock, my safe harbor in a storm.

I've been knitting up a storm as well - not much else to do when my mobility is limited and I get tired so very easily. I have to put the projects down often, but it's good to know they are there and within reach and portable and easy. When my mom came down during thanksgiving she yoinked a bunch of my yarn, and while at the time I didn't mind, the yarn she took was stuff I actually had in mind for use of making things. Ah well, it's only stuff, and I can get more whenever.

I've been fighting off this hell of a wicked sinus infection (at least I think it is- it's been 3 weeks of pressure and pain in my face and ears - unless it's part of the Super Mystery Science Theater Disease From Hell).

Ok, time to go back to watching more Six Feet Under (a.k.a. Gay Dexter as S calls it) and maybe take a nap before the kids get home from school. Cheers.

My dear friend "rose" gave me my birthday present a little late. First off, it was wrapped in some beautiful fabric that I can make something out of, tied with real ribbon that can also be used.

Inside there was:

Knitpick Wool of the Andes Yarn - 3 of the Sapphire Heather, 1 Black Cherry Heather, and 1 Amethyst Heather. Gorgeous, gorgeous stuff.

There was also:

Sensual Knits by Yahaira Ferreira.

I have to tell you, this made my sucky day so much better, I can't even tell you. I have had so much crappy and when I get these little bolts of happy, I find myself fighting tears - grateful tears.

So now I am giddily considering the prospects of knitting a fab coat from my new book, and this gives me more incentive to go to the yarn fair in September (thanks for the tip, Karen @ Shall We Knit?).

I showed my sister in law the new book and stash (memo to self: take photos to update ravelry stash info) and now she wants to knit more than ever. Rose wants to coordinate some time with me her and my sis in law so we can both teach her how to knit. They both have more than that in common and I believe they'd get along famously, so I'm trying to figure something out that works for all of us (and then there's the equal challenge of finding a day where my health does not prevent me from enjoying my time with them).

Anyway, no need to get in that, I just wanted to crow about my treasures.

My cousin Lola is having TWINS (insert happy squeal here) and so of course I now have babies on the brain. The best thing about someone else having babies is that I can spoil them and send them home. Thus far I'm the only kid in my generation on my Dad's side to spawn children, and on my Mom's side only my cousin M has a couple of little girls, but he lives in Nova Scotia so I never see them. My kids are well past the baby stage and tragically I can not have any more (although when I am most honest with myself, I don't want any more). My hubby's side is equally bereft of little poop machines, so naturally I am pretty damn excited about this.

So I have been scouring Ravelry for some patterns, and wouldn't you know it, I am knee-deep in cuteness. Ravelry links you to the site where the patterns in question can be found, so here are a few I've been eyeing up.

Viking Baby Cap! (Some people have actually added on little yellow braids on each side to make a girlie viking cap - very cute)

Little Devil Baby Hat

Sakicho Kimono Sweater

Hoodie Baby Blanket

Cardigen for Merry(For you Tolkien nuts)

Kiddie Cadet Hat

Felted Baby Yoda Hat

Bernat Baby Hoodie (you have to register free on Bernat site to access pattern)

Crochet Top (you may have to register with Lion Brand [it's free yo] to access this pattern)

Five Fruits Sweater (sorry dudes you need to be on ravelry to see this one - magknits went bu-bye)

Jive Turkey Baby Hat

Leg Warmies

Ruby (I got a chuckle out of this)

Seed sticth jacket

Ok that's enough, I'm starting to see double again. Ugh.

So below is a photo of GIR in all his glory. I had to frog the arms once (forgot to change from blue to gray on shoulder part) and the tongue twice (the pink yarn I used is thicker gauge than the worsted used to make his body) but all in all, I think I did pretty swell!

Tonight was a meeting for K's first communion. It was the typical blar blar blar. I nearly fell asleep during the video, no joke. Then I talked Hammer into taking a spin with me through the drive-through of Tim Horton's because it beat her freezing her knickers off while talking with me in the parking lot. Apparently there is drama going on in the other Gr 4 class that doesn't involve either of our daughters, which suits me fine and is a nice change from the norm. However it also makes me pretty sad - ugh. Already, it starts.

My Dad is leaving for Brazil this weekend. He'll be gone for a while so in the meantime I have to keep an eye on my mom and her healing up etc. No word on what is going on yet, but I remain positive.

I have had serious bouts of insomnia, probably brought on from the stress of dealing with family member dying and my mother having issues.

Tomorrow I go for breakfast with Sir T, an event I am looking forward to because frankly I miss chit-chatting with him. Ok. Enough posting, I need to take a hot bath and uncoil all the tension. Breathe deeply. Wax on, wax off, Daniel-san. That sort of thing.

Ciao.

Today I:

- Managed to get the kids to school on time, in spite of all of us sleeping in.
- Got out of having to actually answer the phones by offering to take training on a certain aspect of the job I haven't learned yet
- Had to borrow the fil's car in order to get a friend from work so she could come over and make a soup to be judged tomorrow for entry into the "Soup's On" thing
- Comforted my daughter resonably when on the way to fil's house she tripped and fell all over herself, getting mud all over her new jacket and favorite jeans.
- Got the friend from work and got to show the kids my workplace. They were delighted that I had not only their photos up, but little things they had drawn for me were on display as well. It is one of those things that drive the point home to them that even when I'm at work I'm probably thinking of them.
- Made some kick-ass garlic cream soup. I can't even tell you how awesome it is.
- Disbursed a great sweet n' sour sauce recipe
- Got in a huge fight with my son when it was time to take friend home, as he wanted to finish watching a show. The words "I hate you" and "I wish you would disappear" came out of this boy's mouth. A bar of soap was considered for entry into said mouth but I decided to let it go. When we got home he mentioned he had had a really bad day and was tired and sorry and didn't really mean anything he said, etc etc. Man oh man. I didn't expect to hear that until they were into their teens. Isn't parenting fun?
- Got home and ignored the dishes in favor of sitting down with the kids and a book. Showers already had and pajamas on, you could see the remnants of a cruddy evening just uncoiling from them and releasing.

The really big thing I did all by myself:

- I managed to configure our wireless router so that all PCs in the house are now connected wirelessly. I also managed to set up an encryption for the wireless access in order to prevent others from reaping the benefits of our connection. I did this all by myself, within about an hour. I don't want to tell you how long today my S tried to get all this done. It was enough hours that a lot of swears were said when I told him I had it all figured out and working.

As a result, I am typing this from the comfort of my bed. Hurraz for progress, I guess.

Ok, time to finish up the last bits of GIR so I can stuff it and give it to sisterinlaw. Cheers~

I have a headcold.

I have a headcold, which means my head is full of goo.

I have a headcold, which means my head is full of goo, and I'm worried about my mother.

I have a headcold, which means my head is full of goo, and I'm worried about my mother, BUT my friends witchie & fez (but mostly witchie) sent me a kick-ass package.

I have a headcold which means my head is full of goo, and I'm worried about my mother, BUT my friends witchie & fez (but mostly witchie) sent me a kick-ass package, which made me cry.

I have a... oh fuck it.

Witchie, I got your package and it was awesome and everything was wrapped so beautifully that I was half-afraid to open them, and every little treasure I opened up just made me happier and happier, and I cried because I've had such a lousy time of things lately and this just made me so damn happy it wasn't even funny.

So thank you. And thank you. And thank you. I feel blessed, in spite of the head full of goo and the very sick mother.

For the first time ever, as in ever in my entire life, I bought a lottery ticket for myself yesterday. I don't know what impulses were working there, but it just seemed like the thing to do.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I am so sick and damn tired of snow it isn't funny.

In other news, I'm knitting GIR and I just finished one of his arms and realized I forgot to switch to grey after doing his shoulder in blue and now I'm all flustered and angry and I realize I'm going to have to rip it out but I just finished the damn thing and doing a four-string I-cord on 4 separate needles is HARD do you hear me????? The gad danged needles keep slipping and ARGH! If this weren't for my sister-in-law I would have done with it and feed the yarn to the cat already.

*heave*

*sigh*

Ok.

Today is the last day of vacation for the kids, and frankly I'm glad because they are driving each other and as a result ME up the bend. They stay at grandma's while I'm at work for the 5 hrs a day I'm required to go in, but the minute I'm home they are like rockets, ROCKETS I TELL YOU around the house. But ANGRY ROCKETS that shoot laser beams at each other all the damn time but the laser beams in this scenario are sharp pointy YELLING WORDS.

I have that stupid damn Amy Winehouse song stuck in my head and it won't go away and I want to gnash my teeth.

To end this post on a happy note I found out yesterday that one of my co-workers is having a baby in July. This is happy news because she's had some real trouble not only conceiving but managing to keep a baby in her belly over the 3 month mark. So hooray! I'm very glad for her as she is the type that truly wants a million kids and stuff.

Ok off to make breakfast for my family. Ciao.

Ugh. SNOW! Freaking. Snow.


Sigh.

I can't seriously be the only one that hates this weather.

In other news... my friends are going through the same hoops that S & I had to go through last year to get a Wii. Hopes up, hopes sunk. Hopes up, hopes sunk. Lather, rinse, repeat. My sister-in-law is doing what she can to help, and I assured them that we didn't end up getting one until Christmas was practically in our laps, but it got done. Still, I know how it feels to be in the uncomfortable position of simply not knowing if it will happen or not.

Speaking of sister-in-laws, I am knitting her a green version of the Jayne hat, taking a break from the sweater I was knitting because while it's beautiful, the lady who wrote the pattern was off by a few things and I had to do a lot of patch-ups where she missed stitch instructions etc. I figure it out but I need a breather. All that's left is the sleeves, and a hat is a pretty quick knit nowadays. I couldn't have said that a year ago - it took me a month to make my first hat - but now I can whip those up in a heartbeat.

Ok off to shovel the rest of my driveway and uh, go window shopping I guess?

Ciao.

I'm so excited! I finally got my invite to Ravelry!

For those of you not in the know, it's like facebook, but for knitters/crocheters. Because it's still in beta mode, you have to sign up to be invited. It took about a week or so for me to get my invite but boy am I excited! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

This just in: I have not fallen off the planet. I have just been extremely busy.

Wedding went over well, I was given many compliments no my role as MC so hurrah for that. Got to see some old friends I haven't seen in a long time, and scored some chocolate from Geneva - woo hoo! S got along famously with JD which was both hilarious and a relief. It makes things much nicer when boys get along. They bonded over food of all things, which I suppose is the typical Portuguese route.

Helped my sisinlaw make props and decorations for her workplace - they are having some sort of "stars" promotional event, so we decked the place out like an Academy Awards extravaganza. I had the brilliant idea to get some cheap Ken dolls from the dollar store and paint them gold, and prop them on stands. Voila! Instant Oscar. All of her employees are dressed up in formal wear for the event as well. It looks fantastic and she got a lot of compliments from their district manager, so she's happy happy happy.

School is in session next week - I can't wait to get back into routine. I love autumn, have I ever mentioned this? It's may most favorite of the seasons. October is my favorite month (ergo getting married in October) but in general I love the fall. The air just seems sweeter and full of promise. It is a time of new beginnings in a lot of ways, and to me it is the true mark of the beginning of a year. And school supplies. I cannot get enough of new school supplies. You thought my shoe fetish was bad - it doesn't hold a candle to the absolute need to get new school supplies. And I haven't been in school in a long long time.

Got the kids their back-to-school gear this weekend - phew. There goes all that extra money I was making doing overtime. Oh well, it is money well spent as far as I am concerned. The kids' shoe sizes multiplied over the summer. C is in a ladies' 7!!!! K is a size 4 boys which is ok by me, at least it's still easy to find shoes his size. C on the other hand - it is very hard to find something that isn't either a bajillion dollars, or comes with a six inch heel. Honest to Pete. Can't wait till winter... siiiiigh.

I should really be doing laundry right now but I'm sort of skivving off from it at the moment - there is so damn much to do around this house to set it back in order, and I'm just too tired from not sleeping enough lately. So I keep picking things up and putting them down again, wondering where to start. I realize that is a piss-poor way to make a wuss attempt at cleaning, but today I really don't care, so neener neener.

There was a mothers' get together last week that I missed - judging from the photos I missed a VERY good time. I'm sure the opportunity will come again though.

There's also something about autumn that makes me want to knit more. I have been scouring knitty & magknits to find a new project. I'm thinking about this because it is so fabulously ugly and crazy, how could I possibly not want to? Everyone should have a caution tape scarf, n'est-ce pas? I'm sorely tempted to make these for the kids as well. Who doesn't liken their kids to Thing One & Thing Two now and again?

Ok, I really must be going now. Laundry. Yes. That.