I've been a terrible journaller, but to be honest I've been saving up my energy for everyday life, and it leaves little left for this kind of self-indulgence. Fear not, citizens, I am alive. Not well and not whole but alive, and that is something to be thankful for.

At my doctor's behest, I've started to see a psychologist, to sort out all my current frustration and stress. I've been to a few sessions and it's going ok I guess. I have issues with the whole therapy thing but this person seems to not play any of the typical games and is genuinely trying to help me. She also thinks its ludicrous that I've been put on all sorts of pain killers and whatnot because while it is helping yes it is also not helping in that it is not treating the root cause. She's also concerned about my family doctor's laisse-faire attitude about my health these days. There's more, so much more to this, but I really don't feel like blathering on about it here.

The snow has finally hit here and it was like one day there was nothing and then suddenly the ground was covered in white. Welcome to Canada, right? Doesn't mean I have to like it. My parents have already emailed me to gloat about their lovely Mexican weather. If I could afford the holiday (both monetarily and physically) I'd be on the next plane to visit them.

With snow comes thoughts of Christmas. It's going to be a weird time without my parents around this year but I'm sure it'll be fine. I've somehow managed to get finagled into hosting Christmas Day at my house - I have zero energy for this but S has already said he'd do what he could and that we don't have to make it a huge thing and fuck his family if they don't like it, and he thinks they'll understand either way, but again if they don't too bad. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me to have this man in my corner. He is my rock, my safe harbor in a storm.

I've been knitting up a storm as well - not much else to do when my mobility is limited and I get tired so very easily. I have to put the projects down often, but it's good to know they are there and within reach and portable and easy. When my mom came down during thanksgiving she yoinked a bunch of my yarn, and while at the time I didn't mind, the yarn she took was stuff I actually had in mind for use of making things. Ah well, it's only stuff, and I can get more whenever.

I've been fighting off this hell of a wicked sinus infection (at least I think it is- it's been 3 weeks of pressure and pain in my face and ears - unless it's part of the Super Mystery Science Theater Disease From Hell).

Ok, time to go back to watching more Six Feet Under (a.k.a. Gay Dexter as S calls it) and maybe take a nap before the kids get home from school. Cheers.

I spent most of this afternoon sitting alone on the couch crying into about half a box of kleenex. I am full up and had to empty somehow.

(I got away with this because S was gone to work and the kids were playing some online game - probably Neopets - and were so engrossed that the only thing that they might have noticed was possibly an earthquake or some other catastrophe)

Turns out I wasn't scheduled to work today after all. Stumbling about.


Pac-Man sugar cookies!

Some Kitchen Myths debunked

Soy you want to know the "truth" about soy

Meals for 4 under $15

The Accidental Scientist - Science of Cooking

How to cook like your Grandmother

An excellent baking blog - pictures are mouthwatering



I guess that's enough for now.

The Top 100 Classical tunes is actually a pretty neat site, when you consider most kids out there aren't really exposed to classical music in the traditional sense and probably don't realize just how many songs they hear in adverts and cartoons etc are decades and decades old.

It also makes me realize how nerdy I am because I could identify most of these without the help of this site, heheh.

Watching the Jeffersons now, and it reminds me (as does Sanford & Son) just how much the comedies of the past got away with.

Ok time to clean up some before heading to work. Ugh. Work has been a real challenge in some ways, but in others it's a different experience in that I just really don't care when people call to push my buttons because theirs have been pushed and it rolls downhill. I just sort of remain this blank slate that doesn't really give two shits that your client is ramming it down your throat - in the grand scheme of things there are much more important things to worry about. Interestingly, this blank calm seems to work on the caller and they tend to slow down and breathe (especially when I say "Hey. Slow down and breathe. Ok, now tell me what is wrong").

As far as medical insanity is concerned - there's too much to talk about and I am not really in the mood. The synopsis is: I remain a mystery of science, and they just keep feeding me different meds to attempt to calm down the symptoms until they can figure out the root cause.

Now I'm going to go listen to Bizet and get myself pumped for another day.

Ciao.

Reading a CNN article stating that "Men are buying more clothes than women", I found it interesting that they felt the only reason for the disparity between men and women purchasing more/less clothing is that "Women's wear has painted themselves in a corner. By offering too many options and with everything a trend, it is very easy not to buy anything," and did not perhaps consider the fact that:

1) Hello fashion trends of the past? Please for the love of God take your unflattering clothing back. The current trend of potato sack dresses and giant shoulder pads and fantastically ugly colors and everything else is just depressing as it only really flatters a very small minority of people, who I am convinced may be some sort of hybrid alien

and

2) Excuse me, stores that sell clothing to us plebians? There's a reason why you are stuck with six million size 2 dresses that you end up having to sell at 25% the normal price, and your size 12 and up sell almost the minute you put them on the rack. When the rest of us normal people go to shop, there is nothing left for us to buy that would actually fit us.

and of course

3) Men do like to look good, believe it or not. Kudos to the fact that the current trend seems to come to realize this and is apparently appealing - so no wonder men are actually buying things for themselves. One of the reasons I think the whole "metrosexual" thing took off is because the media finally gave men permission to look good without feeling weird about it.

Of course, I also have to remind myself that this article was published by CNN, not exactly the most reliable news source to begin with, but the article just made me sort of snort out a laugh and wonder if perhaps the producers of Mad Men paid CNN to plug them in an inadvertent way. (PS I have not seen last Sunday's episode so please do not say anything about it until later - I am watching it on demand tonight.)

Ok, insipid rant about things I have no expertise on done.

Today is my mother's *mumblemumble*th birthday! She doesn't look a day over 30, good gravy I hope I inherit that! The kids and I called and sang Happy Birthday to her over the phone, which made her cry of course. It doesn't help that Dad is in Canada (!!!) right now getting their paperwork in order so they can FINALLY get their stuff moved down there to Mexico with them. Getting a call from Dad saying he would be over in a few minutes with chicken & buns from the Portuguese restaurant in London was like getting a Christmas present early.

I was so happy and I am so thankful I got to see him. Dad travels a lot, which is funny because he used to complain about how his Dad used to travel lots. I don't begrudge him for it - his kids are grown, the nest is empty, and the only thing to stop him from doing it is himself. But what this means to me is, all those hours and hours that most people take for granted when they get to see their fathers, are boiled down to precious minutes for me. He gave me a huge hug when he saw me and I breathed in his cologne and I was five all over again. He is the most important man in my life aside from my husband, and I cherish whatever time I get with him.

Last night I got to talk to my friend V via Skype. It was so fantastic - we both have webcams so we got to see each other while talking - for FREE. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you consider the fact that I would have paid a kazillion dollars for a 51 minute phone call to the UK, this is a HUGE deal. And you don't have to have a webcam to use it - just a microphone and speakers, or a headset. That's it. Calling from skype to skype is free, calling from skype to a phone is chargeable. But whatever. I'm not a paid advertisement for Skype, I am just happy I got to talk to her, on the internet's dime. That's two really important people in my life that I got to be in contact with in two days. My own little blue heaven.

That may not seem like much, but to me, the way things have been lately, it is everything. Which isn't to say I am not thankful for the people I have daily access to - they are every bit as important to me. All I am really saying here is, I miss the ones who are close to my heart but impossibly far by geographical standards.

Other items on the agenda: You might notice to the right there is a bunch of "Tweets" - that would be my gratuitous use of Twitter which really feeds the lazy in me - when all I want to say is one or two things without doing a whole dang journal entry.

Ok, that's probably enough for now. The pneumonia sucks and woke up this morning with a migraine for extra fun. If it weren't for all the happy I'd be pretty darn sad right now.

Every once in a while I ask myself why I bother to keep reading Scary Go Round, and then John Allison does something that makes me fall in love with it all over again.

I've loved his comics since Bobbins (which is totally worth reading over again, by the way. Who doesn't love spunky little Shelley?). Scary Go Round is really hit and miss with me, but it's worth sticking to in the long run.

What I really like is that Allison tends to reinvent himself; what I mean by this is, bit by bit he changes up how he produces the comic, so that visually the eye candy just gets sweeter. He isn't afraid to push himself, which I find is the mark of a good artist. The storyline sometimes falls flat, but you can hardly fault him for it - this is something he does in his spare time after all.

Look at Penny Arcade for an excellent example of artistic evolution - the Penny Arcade of yesteryear certainly doesn't look like the current version. However, even as the art changes up, they consistently remain funny, and very tuned in to the current pulse of gaming. I could go on for pages about how truly fantastic they are - Child's Play, anyone? - but it's all been done before, and in a much more eloquent than I could produce, I'm sure.

Jeph Jacques' Questionable Content is another example of reinvention, artistically speaking. The original characters look nothing like the current version. His plotlines have gone from random to a bit more cohesive, and he managed to shake the Tony-Angela (in his case Martin/Faye) sharkjump successfully, by not even going there.

One comic I've really grown to love as well is Wapsi Square by Paul Taylor. Initially, his comics were haphazard and without an actual plot, but over time he has told a pretty intriguing story, and I find I can't wait to see where he takes his characters next.

It is really interesting to me to see these artists emerge and find their groove. I am glad that once they find their mojo they stick to what works - this is a process that thanks to the internet we as an audience are privy to. In the world of print, we wouldn't necessarily see these changes - by the time a comic artist gets into syndication, they have already refined their characters et al.

However, if you look at Diesel Sweeties, you can see what artistic consistency looks like as well. R Stevens is fantastic, hits just the right tone, and has maintained the same aesthetic for his characters since day one. He did actually make it into syndication as well, breaking barriers between online and print comics without self-publication (what I mean by this is, he has been syndicated in actual newspapers, rather than for sale in printed anthologies sold by the artist).

I used to love PVP, and I can still tolerate it to a certain degree if I put my horse-blinders on to Scott Kurtz's insipid commentary and overall sense of self-righteous bullshit. On more than one occasion I have seen him rant about something that most human beings would think was a waste of breath, and then recant after getting called on it, ad nauseum, stating that "oh no I meant it this other way that is more acceptable to the masses". I'd offer up some examples but it would pain me to have to go through his archived news; also I'm pretty sure he's erased evidence of most of those kinds of posts anyway. One example that comes to mind was when he ranted about how horrible it was that dude who does Ctrl-Alt-Del was going to be charging his viewers for the cartoon version of his comic. And then a while later, Kurtz attempts the same damned thing! Now I'm not about to go and defend Tim Buckley tooth and nail, because from anything I've read the guy is a bit of a prat too, but really, Kurtz shouldn't be calling the kettle black here. I realize that he is a human being, like the rest of us, prone to mistakes and change his mind like the rest of us, but he still just sets my teeth on edge. There is nothing he can do to fix that, and I am not about to demand he fix it.

Beware: Here there be a million links!

That being said: I would be remiss if I didn't mention Homestar Runner, even though technically it isn't an online comic, it is still a site I visit that consistently brings on the funny, as well as reinvents itself over time. They actually poke fun at online webcomics in a Strong Bad Email. What I love is that while most people who watch and love it are addicted to Strong Bad & Co, I find the quiet perseverance of Homestar's hilarity is what draws me back time and again.

Strong Bad's emails are arguably the most popular feature of the site, most especially the one featuring Trogdor. (Even Strong Bad reinvents the way he answers email by continually "upgrading" his machines to similar older model computers and laptops and "newer" printers.)

The Burninator aside, I find that the funniest StrongBad Emails are the ones featuring Homestar Runner. I am also tickled by the sbemail spinoff, Teen Girl Squad. The origins of that would be found here.

Ok that's enough for now I think.

My journal has been chock full of medical complaints recently. To try and spiff things up a bit, and keep me cheerful (I'm not going to lie - I have been pretty down in the dumps of late) I'm going to just post random stuff today. Not belittling what is going on but I need to focus on the happy/amusing here or I will go stir crazy.

Things that have amused me today:

Awesome Lunch Bags

Toe Tag Dinner Place cards!

Dr. Who wall panels

NES coffee table/storage bin

Nerdy baby flash cards

Super Mario Wedding cake!!

Indiana Jones amigurumi

Canstruction Vancouver (They make sculptures out of cans!)

R2D2 PC case mod

Spock Apron

Pac Man cupcakes!

Han Solo in Carbonite - the desk!

So in spite of the fact that I once posted 100 damn things about myself,, I'll humor the recent thing that's going around and do only 8. I don't know that there's anything more I can really say about myself but I'll give it the ol' college try.

The rules: Each player lists 8 random facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.


Here goes:

1. I really love it when in winter, it's a clear day and everything is still, and all you can hear is your own gasping breaths. And there is nothing around for miles to break that calm and the whole world is blanketed in white. The air smells and feels cleaner than it normally does, and every breath you take reminds you that you are alive.

2. In spite of the fact that my father once ran a sock factory, and my uncle runs his own business making them, I almost never wear the damn things. I do in winter, out of duty to them, but I hate it. And you know what? My son is the exact same way.

3. If you betray my trust it takes a very, very long time for me to give it back. Decades, if necessary. I'll forgive you but I won't trust you again.

4. I keep telling myself that one day I should rent all those classic movies that everyone goes on about, just to say I've seen them all, but I never really put that into action because I figure if I really wanted to see them, I would have by now.

5. I have very vivid dreams. The kind where you wake up and you are just exhausted because you did so much in your dream and it felt so real, like you were living a second life for a while. And I always dream in color.

6. I used to take the change from my father's dresser all the time when I was little. It was just sitting there and would sit there for weeks and I'd want penny candy so I'd just take it. He never seemed to mind because I wasn't sneaky about it or anything - I'd walk up in front of him even.

7. My favorite thing to snack on? Buns. No word of a lie.

8. I used to love the sun when I was a kid but now if I'm in it too long I actually feel kind of sick. I hate that because I do love the outdoors and I don't know why I've become so sensitive to heat.

SO there you have it, a bunch of completely useless information about me. I tag whoever happens to be reading this. The end.

So I got tagged by Hammer to write six weird things about myself. I feel rather limited only being able to post six, but here goes:

1. When I was a kid, I used to take a small dessert bowl, fill it with ketchup, and then take some bread, and break it in pieces, and dip it in the ketchup. This was literally my favorite snack.

2. I have this thing where I rub my feet together a certain amount of times before going to sleep. Drives S nuts though he's grown accustomed to it.

3. I have this innate fear of clowns. Seriously. I avoid circuses at all costs because of it (although there is the added issue of animal cruelty that helps me make the decision to avoid them)

4. All the closets in my house have to be shut before I can go to sleep. I have no idea why.

5. I've never tasted Avocado. Not even guacamole style. Ditto mango. For whatever reason I just feel an aversion towards these foods.

6. I used to be terrified of the television show Fraggle Rock. The muppets just look really menacing to me.

Ok so I'm supposed to tag people or something. You can just post your answers in the comments I guess, or blog it if you have one, or email? I dunno. You know how these things go. Lola, Jackie, Christina, Lometa, Meatball, Factgirl.