a story

<p> messssssnesssssss

<g> hey perdedorface

<p> TELL ME A SLEEPYTIME STORY

<g> ok

<g> uhm

<g> hehe

<g> once upon a time

<g> there was a bear

<p> a polar bear?

<g> named... uh.... beary mc bearington

<g> yes a polar bear

<g> and this polar bear loved to go skating

<g> but he could not afford new skates

<g> and his own pair was worn through

<g> because polar bears, as you know, are pretty fierce on their belongings.

<g> so beary mcbearington went to the store.

<g> the store was run by his arch nemesis

<g> flappy. the penguin.

<g> (my sleepytime stories are guaranteed to knock you out with boredom)

<g> so beary mcbearington went to flappy's

<g> and walked in but oh no!

<p> teeeheee

<g> it was mating season!

<g> and as you know, penguins only mate once a year

<g> so flappy was awful mad

<p> whoa, porno!

<g> i'm sorry, i cannot help it.

<g> would you rather i have flappy playing checkers?

<g> :P

<p> nah, penguin sex is mildly soothing

<g> hehee

<g> they mate for life you k now.

<g> or so the books say

<g> but the books lie, says i

<g> because supposedly, so do swans. but there's this one don juan swan in our city

<g> that totally mates with everyone.

<g> anyway, i'm digressing.

<g> where was i?

<p> BACK TO PENGUIN SEX

<g> ah yes.

<g> so flappy was tappin his old lady

<g> and kaboom down goes his door

<g> beary mcbearington stood abashed

<g> and then started laughing his ass off

<g> and who wouldn't? flappy was wearing a ridiculous costume

<g> it's not every day you see a penguin wearing a polar bear suit.

<g> his lady had this thing about fur, see.

<g> so flappy got all pissed off and started throwing things at beary mc bearington

<g> (while still banging away)

<g> and beary kept laughing, hoping flappy would throw a new pair of ice skates at him

<g> and he did!

<g> so beary was happy

<g> and left flappy's

<g> (bored yet?)

<g> so then he went down to the ice skating area

<g> and tried on his skates

<g> but OH NO! they were too small

<g> just then, an eskimo skated on by

<g> and behold! the eskimo's feet were the same size as beary's!

<g> so you know what he did?

<p> he licked him!

<g> hehee

<g> yes

<g> he licked the eskimo to death!

<g> then he stole all his drugs

<g> so beary was high as a kite and skating along Danger Pond

<g> when suddenly...

<g> the ice cracked!

<g> oh no!

<g> beary fell in!

<p> ooooo

<g> now. bears can swim. this is true.

<g> but drugs are not waterproof!

<g> beary was a sad little bear.

<g> in frustration, he went back to flappy's

<g> where flappy was still there. in costume. smoking a sardine cigar.

<g> beary TORE FLAPPY INTO LITTLE BITS

<g> and scattered his remains all over the store!

<g> and then he was happy again.

<g> the end.

<p> yeah!

<g> that was the stupidest story ever.

<g> thank you for sitting through it.

<p> hehe, no problem. but now I go sleepy.

<g> yes

<g> night night mister

<p> thank thank you mucho mucho for the story lady

<g> hehe

<g> any time friend

* p tosses rubber ninjas and disappears into cloud of ninjasmoke

<g> hehee