Where the hell did the year go?

My mom needs to have a bunch of external cysts removed. they just up and started growing out of nowhere. They are huge and very noticeable and she says they are also very painful. She measures the pain as a vouchsafe against the dreaded "C" word.

My heart aches and I am tired and I am worried about too many people, none of them being myself.

I need a vacation from life.

Currently making a couple dozen butter tarts. I hope 2 dozen is ok - I figure there will be lots at the bake sale and I'm too tired to put myself out any further - it's been a very long, very stressful few weeks and I can't really put forth any more effort than I already have. Last week was report card week and the parent-teacher meetings left me drained and crying. It's too long to get into here and frankly not something I feel the need to publicly air (shocking, I know). If you are curious then you'll know how to get a hold of me to find out what is going on.

Tomorrow night is a council meeting because yet again they had to reschedule. If it keeps going on Monday nights I'm going to have to quit because it conflicts with my schedule BIG TIME. Sigh.

Ok I need to go do more things. Because I have a zillion on my plate and hopefully want to pare it down to a million by the end of the night.

I don't know what to do with K anymore. Third note home since November 5th with regards to his being rough and picking on, of all people, his best friend. All three incidents involved his friend, all three incidents he "said he was sorry" and had to go to the principal. I have no fucking idea what to do with him as our typical punishments don't seem to be getting through.

What really makes me irate is that just this morning, he and I had a long talk about his behavior and he PROMISED he would behave. Promised me like there was no tomorrow. So imagine my surprise when I find at the bottom of his school bag (which was soaking wet for the third time in a row because yet again, he didn't put his water bottle in his lunch bag and also left the damn bottle open) another note from his teacher explaining that, yet again, he has done something not very nice to his friend. This time around he threw snow down his friend's coat and hat. Last time he had pushed his friend into a block of ice. The time before, oh god I can't even remember.

I was so mad I was crying. I'm at my wit's end and have no idea how to get it through to him, that if he continues to behave this way, a few not so nice things will happen. First he will lose every last one of his friends. Nobody likes a bully. Second, he'll probably get suspended or expelled. Thirdly... I don't even want to think about it. The path he is walking is not a good one. And it just kills me because he is such a good boy, deep down, and has such a good heart, and I don't know where all of this aggression is coming from. He says he just can't control himself sometimes and this is what he does to let out whatever is in him. I say he needs to learn and real damn quick son because: my wit's end? Yeah. I'm there.

So I'm at a point where, do I do the thing I really don't want to do, and not give him the main thing he really wants for Christmas, to teach him something? Or do I try and figure out something else? My dad would say just tan his hide until he can't sit for a week, and while in a way I'm tempted, it would just be sending the kid the worst kind of mixed message.

I don't know. And I'm so upset, and I'm embarrassed because I really like the family of his friend, and there are only so many phone calls I can make to apologise before even I don't want to hear it anymore. What do I do? I don't know. I don't know. The only thing I can do right now is cry. I'm so frustrated.

Ugh. SNOW! Freaking. Snow.


Sigh.

I can't seriously be the only one that hates this weather.

In other news... my friends are going through the same hoops that S & I had to go through last year to get a Wii. Hopes up, hopes sunk. Hopes up, hopes sunk. Lather, rinse, repeat. My sister-in-law is doing what she can to help, and I assured them that we didn't end up getting one until Christmas was practically in our laps, but it got done. Still, I know how it feels to be in the uncomfortable position of simply not knowing if it will happen or not.

Speaking of sister-in-laws, I am knitting her a green version of the Jayne hat, taking a break from the sweater I was knitting because while it's beautiful, the lady who wrote the pattern was off by a few things and I had to do a lot of patch-ups where she missed stitch instructions etc. I figure it out but I need a breather. All that's left is the sleeves, and a hat is a pretty quick knit nowadays. I couldn't have said that a year ago - it took me a month to make my first hat - but now I can whip those up in a heartbeat.

Ok off to shovel the rest of my driveway and uh, go window shopping I guess?

Ciao.

I'm so excited! I finally got my invite to Ravelry!

For those of you not in the know, it's like facebook, but for knitters/crocheters. Because it's still in beta mode, you have to sign up to be invited. It took about a week or so for me to get my invite but boy am I excited! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

So in spite of the fact that I once posted 100 damn things about myself,, I'll humor the recent thing that's going around and do only 8. I don't know that there's anything more I can really say about myself but I'll give it the ol' college try.

The rules: Each player lists 8 random facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.


Here goes:

1. I really love it when in winter, it's a clear day and everything is still, and all you can hear is your own gasping breaths. And there is nothing around for miles to break that calm and the whole world is blanketed in white. The air smells and feels cleaner than it normally does, and every breath you take reminds you that you are alive.

2. In spite of the fact that my father once ran a sock factory, and my uncle runs his own business making them, I almost never wear the damn things. I do in winter, out of duty to them, but I hate it. And you know what? My son is the exact same way.

3. If you betray my trust it takes a very, very long time for me to give it back. Decades, if necessary. I'll forgive you but I won't trust you again.

4. I keep telling myself that one day I should rent all those classic movies that everyone goes on about, just to say I've seen them all, but I never really put that into action because I figure if I really wanted to see them, I would have by now.

5. I have very vivid dreams. The kind where you wake up and you are just exhausted because you did so much in your dream and it felt so real, like you were living a second life for a while. And I always dream in color.

6. I used to take the change from my father's dresser all the time when I was little. It was just sitting there and would sit there for weeks and I'd want penny candy so I'd just take it. He never seemed to mind because I wasn't sneaky about it or anything - I'd walk up in front of him even.

7. My favorite thing to snack on? Buns. No word of a lie.

8. I used to love the sun when I was a kid but now if I'm in it too long I actually feel kind of sick. I hate that because I do love the outdoors and I don't know why I've become so sensitive to heat.

SO there you have it, a bunch of completely useless information about me. I tag whoever happens to be reading this. The end.

BREAK-INS - Sat. November 10
Police are investigating three residential break and enters that occured on Friday. The break-ins occured on Romeo St, Gregory Cres, and Glendon Rd, while the residents were away during the afternoon and evening hours. Stolen from the houses were various pieces of jewelry, a laptop, and a digital camera. Entry was made through open windows and doors. City residents are encouraged to lock their homes at all times including daytime hours, and are asked to report suspicious activity immediately to Police. Anyone with information regarding these crimes are asked to call Police.

Ok, let's forget about all the damn typos (I've already ranted before about the unprofessional editing of the radio site), and get on with the bolded part. I bolded that one part because it's been a point of discussion before among friends who think I'm crazy for locking my doors & windows at all times (well maybe not the windows part but I tend to have a rather draconian habit of making sure every last bit of the house is locked up before leaving or bedtime). People here need to learn that no matter how "small" this city may seem to them, it's still a city and it's a place where hello, half the homes on Ontario street have at some point run a drug house or meth lab; a lady got attacked in a CHURCH for crying out loud; murder occurs here just as it would anywhere else. Theft and getting your place broken into is not out of bounds here people. Hell half the time depending on what area of town I'm in I even lock up my car, in spite of the fact that sometimes I wish someone would steal it so we could replace it. Hah.

Ok rant off, time to get K to school (C is not feeling well - upset tummy all weekend, still feeling off-kilter and she has a bit of a fever and head aches). I have today off, hurrah hurrah hurrah!

I stumbled upon this site, and went through the photos themselves, then waded through them this time hitting the "caption" button at the bottom of the screen so I could read about these incredibly heart-breaking photos of a mother's journey helping her son battle cancer.

So because I'm crazy and also still not feeling well, watched V for Vendetta last night. After the brief power outage, that is.

Lights went off, the kids went a bit squirrely, and insisted we all camp out in my bedroom (I got a new bedroom set, by the by, and it is ten different kinds of awesome. S & I painted the room as well and now it feels like a refuge, which is incredibly important to me in ways you cannot imagine).

It's fucking SNOWING. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. I am so not prepared for this crap already. Sent the kids to school in winter jackets, hats & mitts, but lo and behold their boots simply do NOT fit. So guess who's shopping for boots this week? Not an easy feat when your daughter fits into a ladies' size 7 boot. Thank god flats seem to be in this season, I could not imagine spending a zillion dollars on flat boots simply because the only kind available are the super expensive sporty kind (which is almost what happened last year).

I want to go knitting shopping this weekend, although my darling S would say that it is crazy talk, and why do I have to have all this damn yarn, etc. Except that this mission is actually a mission to help Hammer learn to knit fair isle style, and therefore this is a purchase for the greater good. Is it my fault that in the process I will end up with a kick-ass skirt at the end of it? The greater good.

S really loves it when I rationalize things like that. Our conversations like these usually ends up with him laughing at me because I say it so seriously, like our life is a sit-com and I'm just churning out the lines. And he's my personal laugh-track. I haven't taught him to go "Awwwww" at the really sweet moments yet, but I'm sure we'll get there.

My cousin Lola just called & my uncle is doing much better, though he's hardly back to par, there's a long way to go there. I miss her.

Ok time to go do... stuff...

Too fun.

Too. Funny.

In other news, I have strep throat and have been sick all week. No talk = no work, unfortunately, since like uh, 99% of my job is talking on the phone all day.

My uncle is really sick. Hospital sick. I can't really go into details because 1) I only know vague information at this point and 2) there is no 2, #1 sums it up basically.

My cousin Lola seems to be taking it ok (it's her daddy) but then she's had all week to sort of process it. I am hoping this is an eye opener for my uncle, mostly because I'm selfish and want him to keep living or some nonsense like that.

Ok I'm going back to bed or somesuch.

Some dude did a Lego stop-motion film on Izzard's "Death Star Cantina" bit that also makes me laugh.



Ok I'm going to roll around YouTube for more. I need laughter like you wouldn't believe and this is just what the doctor ordered.

After ten million hours of playing

"What do you want to eat?"
"I dunno, what do YOU want to eat?"

I stalked off into the kitchen all annoyed and hungry as hell. I'd already fed K some supper (he wanted, nay begged, for soup and sammiches) so it was just to feed S and I (C is at a sleepover birthday party for her cousin). I wanted spaghetti but S made that face people make when something smells bad when I suggested spaghetti, because sometimes he is a big baby like that. So instead of making a bunch and watching him fuss and either not eat it and be grumpy, or eat it and be grumpy (I'm sorry do I sound annoyed? Guess what, I'm annoyed. It happens) I rummaged through the fridge, freezer and cupboards and found some stuff.

Here's what I did:

Get out a big pan to put in the oven. I don't know... big, ok? I'm not good at measuring. Big and flat-ish, with at least a 1" lip around to hold in sauce.

Pull out some potato, chorizo, and garlic sausage. Wash the potatoes, and cut them up and put them into a bowl.

In the bowl, pour in some (I don't know how much ok? Just SOME) olive oil, some pepper sauce (I think we call it piro-piro? It's basically ground up pepper that has had some time to sit in a jar with olive oil, garlic and some other stuff) and toss in some paprika, garlic salt, celery salt, regular salt, pepper. A bit of hot sauce, if you are so inclined (which I am).

Ok, so mix the hell out of that so that the potatoes are covered and you are smelling the pepper and salivating because you are starving already dammit.

Toss that junk into the pan. Cut up the sausage, cut up the chorizo. Toss that on top, mix it in if you want the sauce on it.

Get some foil. Cover it up. Throw it in the (oops did I forget to mention pre-heat the oven at 400 F?) oven and let it cook. Check on it once in a while, until the potatoes are tender.

Pull it out and watch your mate look sheepish because you managed to toss together something delicious which was exactly what they felt like eating, whether they knew it or not.

Off topic: Holy cats it's my anniversary tomorrow!