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Posted by Slowplum on 10/22/2003 08:12:00 PM
Ever get that feeling. WHere you have a ton of things to say, but you are so very tired, and achey, and you've been crying on and off all day (a difficult thing to accomplish when your workplace is a very public one and you don't have much access to escape). Yeah. I feel like that today.

I almost quit my job today, almost. There are a lot of things going on but I'm too tired to talk about it and nobody gives too much of a rat's ass about it anyway, bla di bla yeah I know waaa waaaa what a pity right?

I'm also very close to telling someone off but I haven't quite reached my plateau of anger. Yeah.

You know what I love about journals? I can write whatever the fuck I want because hey, it's my journal. Nobody is making you read this mess. Nyah nyah.

Phillipe is the bestest ever.

They layed off a few people at work yesterday, therefore today everyone was in panic mode and scurrying around like bees. This would be fine except it seems to have increased my workload 300 per cent.

I was supposed to go for a walk with mom (yes on a broken toe, shut up) tonight but I flaked off because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Aren't I a peach?

Me me me me me me me. Me me.

I deserve to be this way sometimes. I get so tired of listening to and caring about other people's crap and getting no return. I tried to articulate how I was feeling today at work and out of five people, only one person understood and actually listened. The other four waited patiently for a break in conversation and I could see from their face they were looking for some way to relate whatever I was saying back to themselves so they could talk about their stuff again. I really hate that. Don't listen if you don't care. Cripes.

I'm also coming to a point in my life where I am finally tired of saying "sure" when I mean "no". What I mean is, I am tired of giving and giving and giving of myself without taking, because fuck that man. What am I teaching my kids by being this way? That it's ok to be a doormat? To do everything for everyone in order to keep the peace? I don't fucking think so. Enough is enough. I miss me. Time to bring her back.

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