In a world where movie voiceovers are awesome, one man dies and can voiceover no more.

RIP Don Lafontaine. You made listening to trailers fun.

(I realize this was yesterday's news, but I'm only catching up now.)

First day of school was great, but I feel terrible, but it was good, and I'll write about it later.

Fell asleep on the couch watching Reservoir Dogs. Woke up with pain, no surprise there, but also woke up from a really creepy dream wherein my mother was staying at our house and she shaved the cat and cut its tail off "because I was afraid it had fleas" even though she had a flea collar on and I had just given her a bath. She also rearranged my house with the help of my hubby. At one point I looked out the upstairs bathroom window and he had built a canopy above our front porch. The neighbor across the street suddenly had 6 dogs and they all went under this canopy because it had started to storm. The storm caused a fuss inside our house as well and everything was dark but I could see in the dark. Someone kept asking me to turn the television on and change it to channel 513. No matter what I did I couldn't get that exact channel - sometimes I would be wayyy off and sometimes only off by a number.

Messed. UP.

Did I mention that two days after losing a tooth, K lost another one? Literally two days later, the tooth on the opposite side of his mouth so he has matching gaping holes. I guess his development is all about symmetry. Funny thing, he literally *lost* the tooth - we can't find it anywhere! He was carrying it around rather than putting it in his tooth fairy pillow. He was pretty morose about it and in the end we decided it would be ok if he wrote her a letter. So his letter was pretty fun. "Dear Tooth fairy, please still come to my house even though I lost my stupid tooth. I promise to brush my teeth and be good. PS I promise not to try and fool you when I finally do find the tooth and try and get more money from you. PINKY SWEAR!" Pinky swears are a big deal in our house - it's like a super duper promise. If you break a pinky swear, WATCH OUT. The tooth fairy left him his toonie and some stickers. All was well.

C's molars are starting to bug her, which means those will be coming out shortly. She also grew wayyy too quickly - size 8-1/2 shoe - ladies! She's in petite women's clothing as well, because she's too tall for the girls' clothes. But her waist is in that weird in between thing, so sizing her is becoming an issue. She's also going through this sappy, drowning-in-hormones thing and I even caught her listening to Depeche Mode the other day which just tickled my funny bone - she's my daughter all right.

K says he needs a CD player in his room now so that when she is listening to her "boring wa wa music, mom, I swear to God she is trying to drown me in it" he can belt out "SABOTAGE!" because he seriously just loves Beastie Boys to bits. Again, totally my kid. S hates the Beastie Boys.

Ok, time to get some tea in me, shake off that really weird dream, and mentally prepare myself for another day of work. It's the busiest week of the year this week - you'd be surprised how many people buy homes or refinance the week before school starts. Also it's freezing outside. So much for summer!

Today is my father's birthday. He is all the way in Mexico, and the only way I can wish him a happy one is over the phone. But I cannot get through to him. We got his voice mail, and the kids and I sang happy birthday to him, and that will unfortunately have to be enough for now.

I find I am really missing him, now more than ever. Growing up, my father was my confidante. He was the first important man in my life. He wasn't afraid to tell me the truth, no matter what I asked him about. He showed me how to dig out weeds and dig my hands into the earth unafraid. He taught me how to dive into the water no matter how murky or deep, how to keep afloat when it felt like the only other outcome was to sink. He nurtured in me the love of music. He taught me to be unafraid to feel, I mean truly feel things. He also taught me to protect my heart - that you can love someone with everything you have, but always keep a piece for yourself - the piece you will need to keep it together when life disappoints you.

So now, because life has been pretty damned rough with me, I find I miss him. I am a woman and a mother and a wife now, but I was a daughter first. And no matter how old you get, there will be points in your life that you need your parents. Whether you like to admit that or not, there it is, the truth.

In any case, sending the vibe out into the ether - happy birthday, Dad. I love you.

My dear friend "rose" gave me my birthday present a little late. First off, it was wrapped in some beautiful fabric that I can make something out of, tied with real ribbon that can also be used.

Inside there was:

Knitpick Wool of the Andes Yarn - 3 of the Sapphire Heather, 1 Black Cherry Heather, and 1 Amethyst Heather. Gorgeous, gorgeous stuff.

There was also:

Sensual Knits by Yahaira Ferreira.

I have to tell you, this made my sucky day so much better, I can't even tell you. I have had so much crappy and when I get these little bolts of happy, I find myself fighting tears - grateful tears.

So now I am giddily considering the prospects of knitting a fab coat from my new book, and this gives me more incentive to go to the yarn fair in September (thanks for the tip, Karen @ Shall We Knit?).

I showed my sister in law the new book and stash (memo to self: take photos to update ravelry stash info) and now she wants to knit more than ever. Rose wants to coordinate some time with me her and my sis in law so we can both teach her how to knit. They both have more than that in common and I believe they'd get along famously, so I'm trying to figure something out that works for all of us (and then there's the equal challenge of finding a day where my health does not prevent me from enjoying my time with them).

Anyway, no need to get in that, I just wanted to crow about my treasures.

I spent most of this afternoon sitting alone on the couch crying into about half a box of kleenex. I am full up and had to empty somehow.

(I got away with this because S was gone to work and the kids were playing some online game - probably Neopets - and were so engrossed that the only thing that they might have noticed was possibly an earthquake or some other catastrophe)

Here is a fantastic blog that made me laugh and laugh.

http://sbtbqotd.blogspot.com/

Woke up this morning positively freezing - had left window open last night to pump fresh air into my poor addled lungs and this morning was *frosty*. Brrr. Am wearing favorite cardigan and wooly socks. Wishing I had some biscotti because I really want some right now for some reason. Some biscotti and a warm fresh pot of coffee. I am also craving a cigarette, something I haven't felt in a long while - I've been a non-smoker for years now and I'm not about to break that streak. I quit cold turkey and I refuse to return to that deliciously deadly habit. But it doesn't mean that I don't still occasionally want one.

K lost a tooth last night! He was so stoked to leave it for the tooth fairy. Our tooth fairy doesn't just give money - there's usually a present of some sort (stickers, gum etc) that comes with the loonie or toonie. So last night I couldn't find my sticker stash, and I was out of gum. I had stashed away some cherry m&m's to bribe him with helping me weed the garden, so that would have to do. Put that + a toonie in his little tooth fairy pillow that hangs on his door, thankfully remembered to remove his tooth. He checked on it at 1 am (woke up for bio, and saw pillow full) but only saw the chocolate. Told me this morning in a concerned voice "Is the tooth fairy going broke on me? She only left me these?" and I told him to dig deeper. He found the toonie and was delighted again. "How does she know I love the cherry m&m's? Is she a spy? Is she watching me *gasp* right now!?!" (I hugged my boy like the dickens today. I can't tell you how much my kids have helped me these past few months). C told him that she was pretty sure that mom had a direct line to the tooth fairy like she does with santa & the easter bunny.

C is getting to a tricksy age - she *wants* to believe but she hears so many conflicting arguments. Last Christmas her faith in Santa was renewed when she and K each got a DS - neither knowing we'd saved for a couple months to get them - because "there's no way you and Dad could afford to get us each one plus all the presents plus everything else Mom. There's TOTALLY a Santa and I am going to punch A in the arm when I see him next for telling me there wasn't! I think Santa just gave up on him because he doesn't believe anymore and maybe that's worth TWO punches!" and then she got all concerned and said "Do you think Santa would consider that naughty? I mean I *am* defending his honor and everything - I bet he would forgive me for it!" And I said of course he'd be ok with it but also said to be careful because in grade 4, punching a boy in the arm is the universal code for "I like you" and she said that was ok because she was pretty sure A wouldn't think that of her because "we're just friends, mom, seriously" (insert eyeroll here).

S and I have been of the philosophy that we will let the kids figure it out little by little. My Dad always said the trick was to make it so that you never really remember or pinpoint the age when it happens - it happens so slowly that you just sort of emerge on the other side of the magic unscathed. You're okay with the truth by the time you learn it, because it came upon you in stages, and it grew with you as you grew up. And I think that's ok by me. The world has so little magic left in it and so little innocence, and kids are exposed to so much and practically forced to outgrow these things, that I am fighting it tooth and nail. Every year we manage to pull something miraculous off that reaffirms their wavering belief. I realize our grip on this is tenuous at best, and that they probably realize things more than they let on, but fuck it, this is one lie I am willing to live for a little while longer.

That was a totally left of center thought process. On to other stuff.

This past weekend I went and saw Caesar & Cleopatra, and let me tell you - totally worth the 2 days of pain afterward. Christopher Plummer is fantastic! It was a thrill to see him, and we got really really good seats. Set design was also fantastic, but then I've never really been disappointed with anything I've seen at the festival, and being a local, I've seen plenty.

Also got a crapton of yarn from a nearby yarn store that had Needlecrafts yarn on for 40% off - she was making room for more Noro stuff. Because I'm on her mailing list she sent info on it before the sale so a friend got there early for it and got some on my behalf. Italian silk and chenille for 40% off? Yes please. There's a knitting fair in September, which I am already gearing up for.

Medically speaking, there's a lot more testing going on, but it's nothing I really feel up to talking about - I'm tired of being a pincushion/guinea pig and I don't really like complaining every day about what's wrong with me. So while it would appear to the untrained eye that I am doing fine now, the truth is far from this, but also something I don't feel up to unraveling any more than it already has.

Coffee's ready. Time to have some and see if it will keep me awake. Will have to settle for some toast, as the biscotti fairy refuses to magically make some appear for me.

In the land of "things you want/need to do even though you are exhausted and have zero energy and are still sick but suck it up buttercup, drop and give me 20!", the list is King.

Crafts:

(which can be done during most of these other activities, come to think of it)

- finish knitting the shrug (see entry here for details)
- start on sweater for K
- start on wrist warmers for myself
- start on socks for C
- start on baby surprise knit for *somebody* on this list who is eggers preggers.
- knitting fair on Sept 13! Must go!

Games:

- get that damn heart container from the arrow minigame in Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (zomg that game has me wanting to throw the damn DS I swear to God)
- practice that stupid clock game in Brain Age 2 (I CAN CONQUER THIS! I MUST!)


Television:

- Mad Men (I am behind myself - missed last night's episode so I'm watching it tonight - love the lovely On Demand channel. Am considering proposing.)
- Seasons 1 & 2 of Dexter (to get jazzed for season 3).

Books:

- Finishing up "eat pray love", next are "Night" and some other trash novel that I picked up at random but I'm too tired to go get it and write it down here. I'm sure it will be vapid and full of fluff, but sometimes you just *want* to read that sort of thing.

Also, I just finished reading the Secret Garden again. It is a guilty pleasure of mine to re-read some beloved children's books now and again, just because I can. What is really interesting about this is that my cousin also confessed to reading this one recently herself - it is funny how our lives parallel like that sometimes. Always has.

Movies:

(note: I've seen all these before. I am recycling viewing).
- The Graduate, Pretty In Pink, Superman III, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Mirrormask, The Dark Crystal, Coffee and Cigarettes, You Kill Me, Perfume, Fight Club, Kung Fu Hustle, Basic, Stand By Me, Pan's Labyrinth, Two Mules for Sister Sara (which I now have to watch on principle because of a friend's poll on Western Movies)

Miscellany:

- bloodwork to get tested for a myriad of things that haven't already been tested, as well as re-testing for some other stuff
- cleaning out the fridge in preparation for the back to school snack stuffage of said fridge
- laundry (oh my word I HATE LAUNDRY)
- reconsider the idea of meditating to try and focus mind on other things to detract from pain
- talk to oc
- get together care package for mom & dad in mexico
- DO NOT FORGET TO CALL DAD ON HIS BIRTHDAY
- sleep! that's where i'm a viking!

The movies and television are at least doable, as I can be lying down when I'm totally drained and half-watching it. Ditto reading. The rest is a write-off at those points though.

There's this thing going around the blogosphere about things you should eat before you die. Here goes:

The Omnivore’s Hundred is a list of foods the gastronomic Andrew Wheeler thinks everyone should try at least once in their lives.

The rules of the thing: bold those you have tried, strikethrough those you wouldn’t eat on a bet.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Alligator
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects <- I was tricked into this one - told the candied ants weren't really ants.
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk in cheese form
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more <- thank you grandpa
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin <- chances are many of us have consumed this in small doses without knowing it.
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa <- fantastic on grilled tuna
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta <- bleh, I hate this stuff, my grandma used to force me to eat it every Easter
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake


Huh. I've eaten more on this list than I thought I would have. Interesting.

He goes and has some fun on Sesame Street!

The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

I feel like this ALL. THE. TIME.

Turns out I wasn't scheduled to work today after all. Stumbling about.


Pac-Man sugar cookies!

Some Kitchen Myths debunked

Soy you want to know the "truth" about soy

Meals for 4 under $15

The Accidental Scientist - Science of Cooking

How to cook like your Grandmother

An excellent baking blog - pictures are mouthwatering



I guess that's enough for now.

The Top 100 Classical tunes is actually a pretty neat site, when you consider most kids out there aren't really exposed to classical music in the traditional sense and probably don't realize just how many songs they hear in adverts and cartoons etc are decades and decades old.

It also makes me realize how nerdy I am because I could identify most of these without the help of this site, heheh.

Watching the Jeffersons now, and it reminds me (as does Sanford & Son) just how much the comedies of the past got away with.

Ok time to clean up some before heading to work. Ugh. Work has been a real challenge in some ways, but in others it's a different experience in that I just really don't care when people call to push my buttons because theirs have been pushed and it rolls downhill. I just sort of remain this blank slate that doesn't really give two shits that your client is ramming it down your throat - in the grand scheme of things there are much more important things to worry about. Interestingly, this blank calm seems to work on the caller and they tend to slow down and breathe (especially when I say "Hey. Slow down and breathe. Ok, now tell me what is wrong").

As far as medical insanity is concerned - there's too much to talk about and I am not really in the mood. The synopsis is: I remain a mystery of science, and they just keep feeding me different meds to attempt to calm down the symptoms until they can figure out the root cause.

Now I'm going to go listen to Bizet and get myself pumped for another day.

Ciao.