So. I got a new hair cut. It's up to mid-neck length now and I HAVE BANGS. I have not had bangs in literally 12 years. It feels really weird.

SO says it looks "cute", as do other people. Grrr. I hate the word cute.

I also am really, really sick.

But that didn't stop me from going in to work anyway and going to volleyball tonight.

When I breathe, it sounds like I am cat-purring. Is that a bad thing?

When I laugh, it's the laughter of a 70 year old man who has smoked his entire life and is now paying for it. You know. Hahahaa-wheeze-wheeze-choke-eyewateryspu

ttering-youthinkhe'sgonnadie. Yeah. Like that.

I watched the entire State of the Union speech with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Scary stuff.

I made fudge and brought it in to work today. It got raving reviews and everybody was very pleased. No less than four people asked for the recipe.

I have a bridal shower to go to this weekend for my friend EF, she and my friend JM are (finally!) tying the knot on Feb. 8. Erin is also due June 23...

Ok I'm tired and I wanna die. That alright?

So we got to see the Two Towers after all. It was really good, here are some points:

- movie theatres need to make comfier seats for three bloody hour movies
- I got sick of the Helm's Hold fight halfway through and wished they'd move on al-thefuck-ready.
- movie was very fight-intensive. It was neat but your eyes didn't really have time to rest, trying to keep up with everything. I suppose I liked that because the cinematography was tricky, confusing your eyes like that kind of draws you in, and that's how a real battle would be anyway, chaos and not knowing up from down by the end of it.
- I wonder if he'll bite off Frodo's hand in the third movie like they did in the book. Or was it just his finger? I can't remember. (What? I don't care about spoilers here, there is one fucking giant spoiler called, "The Lord of the Rings Trilogy" that is available in BOOK FORM. You know, books? Those things people used to consume before the media got its claws into us?)
- The ents were really, really, really cool.
- The ent battle was really, really cool.
- If the black riders had fell beasts to begin with, why even start on horses in the first part?
- that Aragorn sure can tell a lot from messed-up straw. Dramatization of the Aragorn tracking method:

"There was a struggle. A hobbit lay here. Then they had a game of cards and drank lemonade. The orcs lost the card game. Somebody was wearing Calvin Klein cologne. I'm missing one sock. There were three crickets on that piece of straw there, but they fled the scene."

Ok so I exaggerated a bit. But it was like that, ya know?

Ok that's all I can think of. Off to work with me then.

So last night SO went out to our friend JM's bachelor party. The lot of them rented a limo and went to Niagara Falls for casino and strip club type fun. A good time was had by all. However, the strippers were skanky a la offering sex in the VIP room. Ew! Nobody took them up on it especially not the groom-to-be who it is reported looked more scared than anything else at the prospect.

I ended up staying and waiting for him because the thought of them driving home from Niagara Falls made me a bit nervous, the weather was crap out last night and the roads had at least a good three inches of snow on them.

Oooh! I made fudge last night using THIS recipe and dayum it was good. MMMM fudge. I bet y'all are jealous now. Nyah!

Today we are supposed to go out for breakfast with a bunch of the guys from last night's debauchery and their womanly-type counterparts, we'll see if SO actually wakes up in time for it. We're also supposed to go see the two towers finally, but I doubt that will come to fruition.

I had more to say but my mind just went utterly, completely blank. So let's look at a quiz result instead:

What Do You Wear to Bed?

Brought to you by Faytrial

Well duh. I'm lucky if I even wear those.

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What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay for Bettie!

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You could feed a 3rd world child for a year with the cost of those pants, ya know.

What pisses you off?

Created by ptocheia

*Most* ravers really do piss me off. PLUR THIS #&(@#$@# *bitey fighty noises* grrr.

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Your Hidden Sexual Talent is Giving Pain

Spakings until they're all insane!

Yup, you're totally in it for the pain.

Handcuffs, whips, hot candle wax.

That's the stuff that helps you relax.



What's *Your* Hidden Sexual Talent?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Er, no commment.

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What Kind Of Evil Bitch Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a seductress! You use your beautiful body and hypnotizing eyes to reel in your prey, and go in for the kill after they have fallen in love with you. It is truely a fatal attraction that kills them. Perhaps, you sometimes fall in love yourself. Behold the power of woman!

Ok, I think that's enough quizzing for now...

Today my son put a little white funnel on his head like it was a party hat and sang happy birthday.

He is so sweet I could cry.

Today my daughter came up and told me I was the bestest mom ever for buying her new skates and a helmet so she could go skating with her class last week. Then she hugged me like a bear.



God I love my kids.

My brother cried today.

I had a long talk with my brother tonight while my other half taught my dad how to set up the computer he just bought. It has been such a long time since my brother and I have talked, when it started he opened up like a dam, words pouring spilling over each other. He had nobody to talk to the way he used to talk to me when we were kids. He was depressed, and stressed. He had no outlet. So tonight, I gave him the opportunity to talk. He took it.

G, I miss being a kid. I just want to be a kid again and fix all the things I couldn't fix then. I want to tell that kid that it's ok and that I am good enough, I am more than good enough. G, how do you fix something that's been broken for so many years?

G, I miss you.

G, why does life have to be so very hard? I am 25. I am not giving myself enough credit and I feel like I could do so much more... why aren't I doing more?

G, I have fucked things up with my girl and I don't know how to fix it. I love her but I can't marry someone who can't trust me and I know this is my own damned fault. How do I make her trust me again? How do I trust myself again?

G, remember when we used to play Peter Pan? And we would hide under a blanket and pretend we were eaten up by the alligator. G, I want to hide under that blanket again.

G, I don't say this enough, but I love you. You're the only sister I have and I only now realize what Mom and Dad were saying all those times they told us to be kind to each other, because we were the only siblings the other had.

G, I'm sorry for all the mean things I did and said. You know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

My brother cried today. My brother made me cry.

So I went out with my sister in law on Tuesday. It was nice to hang out with her without one or both kids hanging off one of us and actually TALKING. I ended up telling her the story of how I got together with her brother, which is long and complicated. And sometimes funny.

Then we went to the bar and played pool. And gah. I now remember why I hate going to the bar. BarMen = CREEPY. They ogle you openly and get a grope in if they think they can get away with it (which they can NOT, the last one that tried ended up getting my pool cue whacked up between their legs. I didn't do it on purpose but if yer gonna goose me and I don't know you, I tend to get jumpy. LET THEE BE WARNED.)

So yeah, we called our pool games "Adventures in Patheticness!" and each game was a new chapter or adventure. At one point the eight ball was resting nicely on the lip of a corner pocket, all you'd have to do is tap it gently with the cueball, AND I STILL MISSED.

Yes. I suck.

But god damn if I don't get my money's worth out of a dollar game, hahahha

Ok work time.

I keep dreaming about Sao Miguel. I have only been there once, and I was sixteen then.

And I keep dreaming about it.

I think I left a piece of myself there. It is, after all, my history, my culture. My parents' families lived there for some time before emigrating to Canada.

Remembering: Lagoa Azul and its sister Lagoa Verde at Sete Cidades, Ponta Delgada, the pineapple farm, Furnas, the rows of hyrdangea separating the lands, the waterfalls at Ribeira Grande, the ocean, the ocean, the ocean...


I think what I miss the most is the ocean.

I did a ton of stuff Saturday. Cleaned house like mad, bought a few things, hung some pictures, etc. OOooh and I bought some new bras. They are comfortable AND sexy lookin. How often can you say that about those contraptions? Not bloody often enough, I tells ya.

Kids visited my parents for a bit. Then they came home. Then SOcame home. Then we had supper and hung out as a family until the kids went to bed. SO and I stayed up late then went to bed around, say, 12:20. Then the boy woke up at around that time from a nightmare so we let him cuddle in bed with us and we all passed out.

Then my son woke me up at 3 am. He wanted to watch cartoons.

Fell back to sleep at 3:15. I stayed wide awake.

Now I'm woozy and tired. I'm going to lie down.

My hair is still black. Yup.

Memo to self: Get new toothbrush.

That is all.

So yesterday was HDE Day, a very important occasion in the life of me, as it is better recognized as Hair Dye Extravaganza Day!

Went over to S's last night so we could dye each other's hair and catch up. Funny thing, she picked Nutrisse #21 Blueberry, I picked Feria #21 Starry Night. THEY ARE THE SAME DAMN COLOR hahahhahaha! Great minds, etc. My hair is naturally dark, but boy am I gettin my gray on. I had dyed it auburn back in november, so can we say ROOTS! Anyhow it is nicely all one shiny black color now. I AM TEH HAPPEE.

Also yesterday was help my Dad buy a computer day. He changed his mind eleventy billion times and I'm lucky I got any work done. I bet you this morning he will waltz by my desk and think of something else to add/subtract from his order. Yowsa.

So yeah, my hair is blue-black.

SO says he can't tell the difference, because 1) he is a boy and 2) he never pays attention to my hair anyway.

I can sure as hell tell the difference though, black makes me look goth or something. Bwahaha!

Ok time for work now

PS I am writing a children's book about an emu.

That is all.

So my man took the "Rate Your Girlfriend!" quiz on FHM (or whatever he was reading online) and I scored a 95! Nyah!

He was impressed enough with my score to tell me about it. hahhaa

1) First grade teacher's name: First, Ms. Janet, who was mean and grouchy. Then a few months in we moved and it was Mrs. Fitzpatrick, who was perfectly lovely.
2) Last words you said: "Pineapple."
3) Last song you sang: Gah, I don't know, I'm always singing some snippet of something or other. To be honest I think it was "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with my son K.
4) Last person you hugged: SO
5) Last thing you laughed at: SO
6) Last time you said 'I love you': Last night
7) Last time you cried: Last night
8) What's in your CD player: Sarah Harmer - You Were Here
9) What colour socks are you wearing: Black - which is odd because I almost never wear socks.
10) What's under your bed: Ack! I don't know! And I'm afraid to look. Probably Killer Dust Bunnies or something.
11) What time did you wake up today: 9:30 am. Sleeping in was bliss.
12) Current taste: Pineapple
13) Current hair: In dire need of dye job. Mix of dark brown and ruby tones.
14) Current clothes: Whatever I found on the floor when I got up.
15) Current annoyance: an itchy neck
16) Current longing: It's a secret
17) Current desktop picture: It was the Bobbins crew but now its Aspicia 2 from caedes.net
18) Current worry: It's also secret
19) Current hate: The sore throat
20) Story behind your username: That too, is a secret.
21) Current favourite article of clothing: I got new gloves!
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex: Eyes
23) Last CD that you bought: Oh jeebus, I don't know. It's been that long.
24) Favourite place to be: Doesn't matter as long as it is warm and comfy
25) Least favourite place: Out there. In the cold. Where the snow is.
26) Time you wake up in the morning: Usually about 5:30 am, if I sleep at all the night before.
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: I used to play piano clarinet saxophone and guitar but I've slipped in my old age. If I could play a new one it would be the sitar. Those things are neat.
28) Favourite colour: I can't decide. Depends on my mood and what the color is for. Example I love yellow bright cheery flowers, but blue is good for walls or clothes. Why should we have favorites?
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: I don't know.
30) How tall are you: 5' 10"
31) Current favourite word/saying: "HOLY CATS!"
32) Favourite book: Can't play favorites here either.
33) Favourite season: Autumn
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Jeff
35) Favourite day: Every Second Friday (PAY DAY!)
36) Where would you like to go: Scotland
37) What is your career going to be like: It is going to be like this: I will be underpaid and underappreciated in a corporate cubicle farm, occasionally changing positions but never really aspiring to go further because the higher corporate life makes me sick. Wait a minute... it's *already* like that! Zounds!
38) How many kids do you want: I already have two. I don't want anymore. Though last night I had this dream I gave birth to twins! (EEEP SCARY)
39) What kind of car will you have: We have a 96 Mercury Sable. Black cherry. Falling apart.
40) Type a line you remember from any book: "Jesus wept."
41) A random lyric: And you just don't get it you keep it copacetic and you learn to accept it you know it's so pathetic
42) Identify some things surrounding your computer: CDs, Phone book, Telephone, Newspaper (unread), mail (unread), Colorings by my kids, Hairpins, Kleenex, An empty container that once held pieces of fresh pineapple

I called in sick today at work. I really do feel under the weather, but also feel bad for calling in sick.

Fuckem.

Had hectic dreams and woke up feeling like I am over-scheduling myself and wanting to run away.

Elvis Presley's "Love Me" was playing on the radio this morning, which was odd because SO has it set to some hiphop type channel.

In any case, that song gives me the shiveries, in a good way if you know what I mean. I think it's the voice. Mmm.

Recorded long before he became Las Vegas Elvis.

ANyway. Tomorrow is a pot luck at JD's house, just a gathering of us womanly types in a post-Christmas atmosphere because we were all crazy busy during the holiday season.

Can't wait for volleyball to start up again. Haven't played in a month because the last two sessions before winter break were cancelled due to conflicting schedules.

Fuck. The car stopped running. Wish the car starter would last longer than five minutes. DON'T THEY KNOW WE ARE IN CANADA HERE? It takes way longer to warm up the frickin' car.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Time to bundle up and go to work.

First: Thank you to C, for the postcard, M, for the book, and W, for the CD. Very appreciated and timely surprises! You made my week.

It's funny, usually I take this first day of the year and I reflect over the events and happenings of the year previous, then look forward on to the year to come, and then I stare blankly at nothing for a while, and then I think, "what's for breakfast?"

This year I've more or less skipped the first few steps. Why reflect on what has passed and consider what is to come when there are delicious smells coming from the kitchen? Hmmmmmm.

My New Year's Eve was spent quietly, mostly movie watching with my family, as we are all still under the weather. Although everyone else is on the mend, and I am left with all the sickly feelings just in time to go back to work. It's a mom thing. You put your illness aside to care for your loved ones. Then when they are better you wear it like a badge, cough and wheeze and all those other things while your family gives you sympathetic looks.

Possible lung infection and re-entrance of October's pneumonia bout is garnering more sympathetic looks than usual. Green gobs of goo have been coming up in abundance, and antibiotics, although pleasantly banana flavored, don't seem to be doing much in the help deparment.

Head feels fuzzy.

I wore a camoflauge shirt today.

Happy New Year.