He did it.

So uh, I find it pretty amusing that Ashton Kutcher is trying to beat CNN for twitter followers. The nice thing is if he makes it to 1 million followers he is donating 100,000 to purchase  mosquito bed nets in honor of World Malaria Day. But even without that, it's still amusing.

He decided to stream his reactions live, archive here: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1393560

The Kutcher vs. CNN tweet charting live: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/16/ashton-kutcher-vs-cnn-twi_n_187835.html

Highlights: Ashton goofing up popping a champaigne cork and drinking out of a commemorative Chicago Bears cup. That's right.

Anyway. Um. I forgot what else I was going to write about, a sure sign I'm tired.

Oh wait right. Eye appointment. The eye doctor put all kinds of liquids into my peepers that made them huge and stingy and then did a barrage of tests and the conclusion is: the reason I am missing spots of text when I am reading has nothing to do with my eyes but probably everything to do with my CNS (central nervous system) oh gee, shocker there. Score one more in favor of it being a neurological thing that's messing me up so bad. It's been almost a year since the initial crazy hospital visit form hell, and still no answers. Yay socialized medicine!

This Saturday is S's birthday. I already gave him his gift - a blue DS so he can stop stealing mine and his own copy of Brain Age 2 so he can play sudoku all he likes. Was tempted to buy him a pink one but thought better of it. He loves it of course. On Saturday we're having people over for chicken wings and a keg o beer. Wish I could join them but I unfortunately have to be the sober type person, stupid meds. It's all good, I'll find a way to have fun anyway, I always do.

I can also tell I'm tired because I'm not caring much about the bad grammar (ie run-on sentences) but oh well, it's the internet, I already win by spelling as well as I am regardless of mistakes.

Back to watching old episodes of CSI on DVD with the commentary on. Be excellent to each other people.

Cheers.

If you were to give me a bouquet of sound, what would be on the list?

I have this song in my head now. 

She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said Im sorry, 
I had a bad day again

Well, Friday the 13th is certainly living up to its reputation this time around. Ever have one of those days where it just all plummets from the minute you wake up? I woke up with a cranky throat (not a good thing to have when your job is to talk to people alllll day). Kids were at each other over nothing, which I suspect is a result of the jitteries about the March break starting next week. Went and had breakfast with my mother, who is here to help my brother with his newborn twins, and while it was nice, it was peppered with the usual guilt-and-martyrdom song and dance that we have perfected over the 32 years of my existence. 

Work was no better - "coaching" sessions with sub-boss, answering the phones to complaints complaints complaints. Cranky-throat feeling not helping, and I bit my tongue, lucky me. Couldn't wait for the day to end but when it finally came I ended up having to stay 20 minutes late anyway to help someone process and submit a deal to us that had to be done pronto. Came home to empty house which was nice but only lasted about 47 seconds. Kids at each other again, S also in a cranky mood because work has been hurty for him, even the cat was in a bitey "don't you dare look at me!" mood. 

Piece de resistance: My computer has more trojans than a frat house. I have all kinds of online downloads and never had a problem until I installed a legitimate program - Nero of all fucking things. Checked processes and FOURTY SEVEN items were running in the background. Loaded up my anti-whateverwhatever prog and sure enough, wormy worm trojan trojan spyware malware bla bla bla. I know what you are thinking, I probably brought it on myself with the downloaded stuff, but I assure you, I am very cautious about that sort of thing, check it out all the time, pretty much all of my downloads are from legitimite sources, etc etc. I didn't think it would be necessary to safeguard against something I paid for with cash money and brought home and installed. You want to talk about pissed? Pissed am I, good sir or madam. 

So now I am waiting out a repartition so I can salvage some of my files before the great purge. Thank God for 400 gig hard drives and laptops to use in the meantime, that's all I have to say. I'm kind of hoping that the repartition and hardware update will help, but I know better. 

See you on the flipside, I guess.

At around 7 PM tonight my baby nieces finally came! M managed to deliver both naturally (amazing I know!), both are healthy and everyone is happy. Baby one was 5 lbs 1 oz, baby two was 4 lbs 13 oz. R (my brother) got to cut the cord for both of them as well. He's on cloud nine.

I'm beside myself with excitement and happiness.

Hooray for babies!

So at midnight the phone rang, I didn't get it in time and the number was unfamiliar. I called it back.

"G, it's your brother, M's water broke. The babies are coming!"

In the minute it took for my sleepy brain to process, a million things went through my head. I wanted to tell him that it was ok, he didn't need to be afraid. That from this moment on his heart no longer belonged to him. That the twins would be a constant source of joy, frustration, sleepless nights, but mostly a happiness he won't be able to explain in words. That they will do things that will make his heart simultaneously sing and weep. There are million more things I want to tell him, but all I could say was:

"Congratulations, poncho, now get her to the hospital. I love you."

Now I'm feeling like a cooped-up cat in a cage, pacing continually, leaping at every sound, staring at the phone and begging it to ring. I'm going to be an aunt, for the very first time. I can't wait.

Someone dear to me likes to remind me from time to time that Wednesday is "anything can happen" day. I find it amusing and usually true. So today:
- My doorbell started to ring of its own accord. Then a really loud buzzing noise came from the bell speaker inside. Turns out the button was smashed somehow and rain leaked in. It was thisclose to it starting an electrical fire - my father-in-law fortuitously dropped by and disconnected the thingy before anything bad could happen.

- I found twenty dollars laying on the ground today, after pulling into a parking spot at work right beside the door (this is nothing short of miraculous) and it was pouring rain and I had no umbrella. So I managed to avoid getting soaked and I had money to put more gas in the car.

- I went to my family doctor who *gasp!* has finally decided to get things moving in a forward direction and is referring me to various specialists. Why it took nearly a year to get this done I cannot fathom but I am grateful beyond belief.

- My godson had is confirmation today, so right after work I had to speed to a town that usually takes 30 minutes to drive to. Tonight it took an hour and a half. The fog was so thick and so low to the ground we couldn't even see the hood of our car. My beloved (and did I mention non-Catholic) husband, bless his soul, drove me there and back without a single complaint. The drive home was stressful beyond belief and I damn near rubbed St. Christopher right off my medallion. We made it home in one piece and for that I am thankful.

I can't wait to see what next Wednesday brings.

A lady I have known for a long time, went to high school with, our kids go to the same school, died last night. They don't know why and she didn't have any previous health concerns.

I have spent the better part of the evening trying to absorb this news. I keep teetering between crying and that empty feeling you get when this sort of thing happens.

What is just shattering to me is that she is leaving behind a 10 year old, a 6 year old, and a toddler. This was a gentle soul and a person who is very loved.

I don't know what else to say.

Silencing all the songbirds, and setting the alleys ringing...

So I have a really old song in my head because I was watching "Emma" last night (the one with Gwyneth Paltrow in it) and now I have that song she sings with Ewan McGregor stuck in my head.

Anyway.

Today was one of those days where you spend a half hour in the bathroom stall crying because you are stressed and tired and cannot deal with one more thing, period, nevermind a plethora of things.

Sad to say, I really did this.

After work I came home and took a bath and slept forever. Now I'm awake and in pain and wishing I could go back to sleep. And the pain isn't the kind you can ignore. So here I sit ready to post my complaints.

Except I won't. I'm empty and exhausted and burning the candle at not only the ends but the middle, too. Did I mention hurty? Yes. Very hurty.

Ok time to try and rest again.

So uh, happy new year I guess. Life has been crazy, what else is new right?

You know those moments you have, where you haven't seen or spoken to someone in a great long while, and there is just too much to say so you just sit there and say nothing? That's sort of how I feel about this blog right now.

So I'll just type random things.

How sad is it that John Travolta's son died? Seriously, the news was a bit jarring. I can't even imagine what that family must be feeling right now.

Ok I've been staring blankly at the screen for a full minute. Clearly today is not the day for me to type anything.

Christmas is looming closer by the minute and I feel too ill-prepared for it this year. I am hoping for something low-key but I know better - it won't happen.

My only wish is to be able to stay in my pajamas all day for Christmas, lounging around and eating nothing things and maybe napping, but as we are somehow hosting it this year for the hubby's side, I don't think it will happen. S says I should just stay in my pajamas anyway, which is very, very tempting.

The kids are very excited about Christmas but also bummed out because my parents will be in Mexico for it this year. Oh well. My dad is coming to visit next week for a few days then going back to be with my mom, and that will have to suffice for now.

I'm back at work on my regular hours but the shift has gone from 10-3 to 12-5, to accommodate the higher volumes that occur in the afternoon. Our building serves the company nationally so we are open from 8 am to 8 pm EST. I don't mind the noon to five as it allows me to be kind of sluggish in the morning, but then I'm rushed in the evening to get supper and homework and all those other things done. Work is exhausting me as well, but I'd rather be there than be at home having a boo-hoo pity party. I am the type that needs to feel like they are contributing, you know?

Ok I'm off to get ready for work. Hope everyone is doing well.

I've been a terrible journaller, but to be honest I've been saving up my energy for everyday life, and it leaves little left for this kind of self-indulgence. Fear not, citizens, I am alive. Not well and not whole but alive, and that is something to be thankful for.

At my doctor's behest, I've started to see a psychologist, to sort out all my current frustration and stress. I've been to a few sessions and it's going ok I guess. I have issues with the whole therapy thing but this person seems to not play any of the typical games and is genuinely trying to help me. She also thinks its ludicrous that I've been put on all sorts of pain killers and whatnot because while it is helping yes it is also not helping in that it is not treating the root cause. She's also concerned about my family doctor's laisse-faire attitude about my health these days. There's more, so much more to this, but I really don't feel like blathering on about it here.

The snow has finally hit here and it was like one day there was nothing and then suddenly the ground was covered in white. Welcome to Canada, right? Doesn't mean I have to like it. My parents have already emailed me to gloat about their lovely Mexican weather. If I could afford the holiday (both monetarily and physically) I'd be on the next plane to visit them.

With snow comes thoughts of Christmas. It's going to be a weird time without my parents around this year but I'm sure it'll be fine. I've somehow managed to get finagled into hosting Christmas Day at my house - I have zero energy for this but S has already said he'd do what he could and that we don't have to make it a huge thing and fuck his family if they don't like it, and he thinks they'll understand either way, but again if they don't too bad. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me to have this man in my corner. He is my rock, my safe harbor in a storm.

I've been knitting up a storm as well - not much else to do when my mobility is limited and I get tired so very easily. I have to put the projects down often, but it's good to know they are there and within reach and portable and easy. When my mom came down during thanksgiving she yoinked a bunch of my yarn, and while at the time I didn't mind, the yarn she took was stuff I actually had in mind for use of making things. Ah well, it's only stuff, and I can get more whenever.

I've been fighting off this hell of a wicked sinus infection (at least I think it is- it's been 3 weeks of pressure and pain in my face and ears - unless it's part of the Super Mystery Science Theater Disease From Hell).

Ok, time to go back to watching more Six Feet Under (a.k.a. Gay Dexter as S calls it) and maybe take a nap before the kids get home from school. Cheers.

So I can't remember if I posted this already, but my brother and his fiancee are due on April 5. Well guess what?


They're having TWO babies!


This is the happiest news I've heard in a long, long time. I am simultaneously excited and afraid for them.

I'm still processing this - I can't even imagine how they are feeling.

Wow. WOW. Wow is all I can keep saying.