So I was sick on Wednesday & Thursday and as a result didn't go to work. Today I still felt weak and achey-bones but since I am still new there I don't want them to think I was malingering or anything. I even got a doctor's note to be safe. You'd think that was being over-proactive but when you've had experiences at bad workplaces like I have things like that become second nature.

SO got hired on full time permanently at his new job, so hurrah! Double and triple hurrah because as of today the benefits that were extended to me from my previous employer are officially over. Phew! Talk about perfect timing!

My keyboard is all weird right now and the keys keep sticking. Bleh.

I had sixty bajillion phone calls today at work with regards to branches wanting discharge statements TODAY and hells no they did not care a hoot about no "48 hr turnaround". Statements must really hate me today. I sent down a note on every second phone call.

Only like, 1 person reading this will know what I mean by a discharge statement. Ha.

Since SO is full time permanently he can now join their company social club which rocks because they always do fun things. The thing coming up in April is a Murder Mystery Dinner... which is awesome because I kick ass at those things.

Our furnace seems to have gone on strike but I'm too cheap to call the furnace people yet because I just got insurance on the damn thing but it doesn't kick in till April 5. So I'm kind of praying it doesn't snow until then. The insurance is awesome and covers just about every part of the thing except of course filters. *hopeshopeshopes*

Kids got their reports today and came out winners, zang! I'm very proud of them and so we are springing for Swiss Chalet tonight. I love swiss duck because you can order online, they deliver it to your door and you don't need a credit card, you can select "cash" as an option and just pay when they bring it to you. Hurrah! Mmmm, chicken...

On that note I will sign off. Ciao!

I hate those dreams you get when you actually wake up talking out loud. The sentence uttered upon my waking an hour ago was "Why am I always the last to know?"

I was uttering this in reference to finding out (in my dream) that my father's mother died. They kept it from me for a whole day before telling me, and even then I had to drag it out of them. I was angry and frustrated and completely overwhelmed with sadness.

What I find particularly sad and overwhelming is that the last time I dreamed about one of my grandparents dying it was my father's father, and a year later to the day it turns out he did. Spooky? Hell yes.

I don't necessarily believe that will occur again. I think I had this dream because I saw her over the weekend and it shocked me, as it continually shocks me every time I see her, to see how old she truly is. This woman practically raised me when I was really little & my parents were working a bazillion hours a day (at least it seemed like that when I was little). I think when the time comes and she finally does leave us, I don't know how I am going to react or handle things.

Anyway, because of the dream I've been up an hour or two and I hate that too because I'm going to be exhausted today as a result.

So where was I? Oh yes.

49. Whenever I'm sick I crave Pop Tarts. Specifically, the strawberry flavored kind.

48. I really really really hate Neo Citron. SO used to get it for me when we were dating and I had a bad cold, he thought he was being all nice and I actually hated it and told him so. He made me drink it anyway and I would never admit it to him, but it really does work but I still hate it.

47. When I was about 5 or 6 I used to love squishing the middles of Daddy Longlegs bugs with a stick, just to see their legs twitch all over the place. Sadistic or what?

46. I have dyed my hair every imaginable color, to the point that I'm surprised I even have any hair left.

45. Every so often I think about a boy I knew in high school and had a slight crush on but never admitted I had a crush on him. What is interesting about this is, usually I will end up running into him somewhere a day or so after I've randomly thought of him.

44. It made me really sad when they said Michael Jackson was not guilty.

43. In spite of the fact that I hate twangy country-sounding songs, one of my favorites is Blue Rodeo's "Bad Timing".

42. I once lived with SO's ex, for an entire school year. It was torture and hell on both sides. I would not recommend this to anybody. The hows and whys of it are a very long story, meant for another day.

41. I am proud of the fact that my daughter comes to me with her troubles and feels she can trust me with them. I hope we always have that sort of communication; I think we will. This was one of the promises I made to myself when I was younger, because my own mother and I had a very volatile relationship and I never felt I could go to her with anything. Things have changed somewhat over the years as I got older, but for the most part I still am skittish about sharing things.

40. When I was pregnant with my daughter I used to crave and eat pickles with sweet n sour sauce & mayo on toast. I also could not stand the taste sight or smell of pizza so SO had to go a very long time without eating it - torture for him as it is his favorite thing to eat.

39. I like the smell of gasoline.

38. I have a slow-boiling temper but once the button is pushed, WATCH OUT.

37. I don't tend to hold grudges much. The ones I do hold though I feel I am in the rights, and eventually I let those go as well.

36. Every April I crave orange creamsicles. My best friend in high school JMc used to say that spring never started until I had that first creamsicle. You could set your time by it.

35. Only JMc seemed to understand my unhealthy high school obsession with Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Mostly because JMc was a bass player.

34. I once corresponded with the bass player from another rock band; it was through correspondence with him that I got the smarts and courage to get out of a very bad relationship. I have not spoken with him in a great long while, which goes to show you that saying is probably right. You know, the one about how people are in your life for either a reason, a season or a lifetime. He was there for a reason and a season.

33. Sometimes when I'm angry I throw dishes and it makes me feel better but also a little embarassed and wishing I hadn't done it while I clean it up. (Usually nobody is around to see this)

32. Another habit I have is when I'm really, really angry about something, I clean my oven. The scrubbing is of the sort that calms me down after a while. I was very sad when mom gave me her old self-cleaning oven. Now I've resorted to scrubbing the pipes under the sink.

31. I love to feed people. I get a great deal of happiness from watching people sit and enjoy something I have prepared for them.

30. Up until the age of 24 I had never tasted a cherry. When I did I declared I never would again; I don't like its texture, reminds me too much of the texture of olives.

29. I am a big texture eater so I also do not like mushrooms for those reasons.

28. My favorite ice cream is New York cherry cheesecake, but only the Nestle brand because it is guaranteed not to have actual cherries in it so much as it has the cherry sauce. The reasons for this should be obvious.

27. I'm not much of a cake person unless it is carrot cake. Carrot cake with cream cheese icing. I could eat that until the cows come home.

26. I love music. Love love love it. It's in the blood I think. Sometimes a tune will be playing and my feet can't help but start tapping or my fingers start drumming or my mouth start humming. A good tune and lyric can move me to tears or laughter or both.

25. That being said, specific songs now remind me of specific people. It is like their memory is coded into the song.

24. The smell of camphor turns my stomach.

23. I think when I'm older I wouldn't mind living in a nursing home, but only if I didn't have serious health issues. Except there's that smell of lingering death I don't know if I'd like that. I just find the open-concept community appealing.

22. I love to read. I can't remember the last time I didn't have a book on the go.

21. My favorite treat to get at Christmas time is Tofiffee. Seriously. Mmm. And Lindor Chocolates, I love those too.

20. One food I crave a lot is spaghetti. It is a comfort food of sorts.

19. I love David Bowie. He is hella sexy even now, at 59. I don't care that he's old enough to be my father.

18. I also have a celeb crush on John Cusack.

17. I always get a headache when I get slurpees because I'm too stupid to take my time consuming them.

16. I am a nail-biter. It's a habit I've fought with my entire life.

15. I've kept almost every journal I've written in from when I was little up until now.

14. I was into a size B bra at the age of 12.

13. I do not find the number 13 unlucky at all.

12. One of my favorite movies is the Shawshank Redemption. I owned the movie for 2 years before actually watching it. It was still in its wrapper even! Then when I finally watched it at SO's insistence, I loved it.

11. I also think Val Kilmer is pretty nifty. One of the first films I saw him in was "Real Genius".

10. The first movie I ever saw in a theatre was Disney's animated film "Cinderella". We took my grandmother with us and she laughed so hard she almost peed.

9. Sometimes I will put on sad films on purpose just so I can cry.

8. I love thinking games, I have tons of variety puzzle books and will pick through them at my liesure.

7. When my mother's father died, I did not attend the funeral. I do not regret this in the least but it has put me on the outs with her siblings.

6. I can draw the Simpsons.

5. I own the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding" specifically for the scene in the Crab Shack when Rupert Everett is singing "Say A Little Prayer".

4. It is a dream of mine to tour Europe someday. Specifically I'd like to see Scotland, Wales & Ireland.

3. I eat my steak as rare as you can get it. This disgusts most people I know but I don't care. It's so damn yummy.

2. I do not feel the least bit guilty when I eat veal.

1. One day I would love to travel into outer space.

There! I could probably write 100 more things, but why waste the time and bore the few people that read this to tears?

I figured this should be good for a laugh, or at least addle my brain. One or the other. You know. So it's Saturday and I have a little time before I start my power clean for tomorrow's book party (yay for kids books being delivered right to my home!)

100. It is probably going to take me a few days to do this thing, so the above will be null and void by the time it's done. That is because I am good at starting things but sometimes take a while to fini-

99. Up until about Grade 6 I could not wear anything less than 24 karat gold in my ears. It drove me nuts and I kept trying to wear costume jewelry all the time so my ears were always red. The perseverance paid off however as now I am capable of wearing whatever I like.

98. I have never tasted an avocado. Not even in guacamole form.

97. I am allergic to mustard. It makes me break out in terrible hives.

96. I am allergic to blueberries. It makes my throat close up something fierce.

95. I am allergic to marijuana. It causes me to have siezures. Some doctors believe it isn't so much an allergy as it is one of my "triggers" because -

94. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 16. Because of this, I could not get my license until I went 2 years without a hospital visit over seizures.

93. I finally achieved this benchmark at the age of 20, and thus had to go through the gruelling experience of that whole G1, G2 crap the government instated.

92. After I had my second child, the amount of times I've had a seizure now adds up to six. Considering my second child is going to be 6 in July, that is pretty damn fantastic.

91. I no longer need to take anti-seizure medication on a daily basis, but do have it on hand, juuuuust in case.

90. After I had my first child I suffered from post-partum depression that was so terrible it lasted right through my second pregnancy and for 2 years after my second child was born. I had no idea that that is what it was and it nearly destroyed my marriage and my life.

89. Some of you who read the above will be pretty shocked to know that.

88. When I was 18 I had an emergency appendectomy and the appendix burst on the operating table.

87. This happened 2 weeks before my prom. I went anyway. HA!

86. When I was 23 I had a cyst removed from my left breast. It was the size of an almond, and thankfully, was benign.

85. As a result of said cyst removal, I now have to have a mammogram done once a year.

84. When I was 28 I had my gall bladder removed. It was the size of my fist and very diseased. They still don't know what was wrong with it. It just stopped working and started poisoning me slowly.

83. In April of the year I turned 22, my SO & I moved into our first home. On moving day I went into false labor and as a result we spent the first night of owning our new home in the hospital.

82. In May of the year I turned 22 I gave birth to my first child. It was a beautiful baby girl.

81. In July of the year I turned 22 my father's father died of prostate cancer. We buried him on my birthday. I will never forget it because of this.

80. In May of the year I turned 24 one of my dearest friends died in a car accident.

79. In July of the year I turned 24 I gave birth to my second child. It was a beautiful baby boy and looked almost exactly like my father's father. We named him after my friend.

78. I almost died when I gave birth to my second child. During the experience I truly felt something or someone carried me through. If I had to wager a guess I would say it was my grandfather.

77. In October of the year I turned 24 I got married to my best friend and the father of my children.

76. Two weeks later we moved into our second home.

75. I only have one sibling, a younger brother. We were born 18 months apart.

74. Between the ages of 2 and 14 our family moved six times between two provinces. Since then I myself have moved 4 times, twice while in University.

73. I went on a plane for the first time at the age of 15. We went to Nova Scotia to see my aunt and cousins. I celebrated my 16th birthday there eating fresh lobster I caught myself.

72. Confession: I have read L.M. Montgomery's "Jane of Lantern Hill" at least 3 times a year every year since 1991 when I first received it for Christmas from my godfather.

71. I have no idea why I like that book so much. I just do.

70. I lost my virginity at the age of 16. I never understood what the big deal was.

69. When I was little I was convinced that one day I would marry Superman.

68. I dressed up as Wonder Woman for Halloween 3 years in a row.

67. Sometimes I catch myself saying things just like my mom did, and it scares me a little.

66. My most hated chore of all time is doing dishes.

65. I used to have 6 piercings, now I only have 4. The third piercing in each ear closed up because I was lazy and forgot to put my earrings back in one day. It doesn't really matter since that third time piercing them was done from boredom moreso than a real desire to have it done.

64. In August of the year I turned 29 I got my first tattoo. It was a decision I had mulled over for about a decade. Twice I'd made an appointment to get one and twice I had to cancel because I found out I was pregnant. As a joke my sister in law got me a gift certificate to get one done and attached a pregnancy test with it. Then she called me up in August and said "take such and such day off" so I did. Then on that day she said "still have the test? Take it." And thus, a tattoo was born. By that point in time I'd had the design all planned out so it is not a flash-in-the-pan decision, it is something very personal to me.

63. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm being too verbose with these tidbits about me. Is it supposed to be only one or two lines? I'm confused. I'm also wondering if it's cheating by using one of the things about me to explain this. I don't think so, since this analytic back and forth is indeed something about me, and something that occurs rather often. Ah well. On with it, then!

62. I have serious bouts of insomnia that can go on for months at a time. It seems worst between the months of August and December.

61. The first thing I ever cooked on my own was macaroni salad. I was 10.

60. The first full meal I ever cooked was a Portuguese roast with potatoes, rice and vegetables. I was 12.

59. My first "real job" was working as a coffee slinger at a local coffee shop. I used to work the evening shifts after school and on weekends I'd work the late shift. I got to know quite a few choice words and the drunks liked me a lot because I'd actually listen to their ramblings. As a result I made a killing on tips.

58. My very first pet was a goldfish that I overfed and it died. My parents kept buying more goldfish and I kept overfeeding them.

57. They gave up on the goldfish and got us a black lab. I named the dog Lady (from Lady & the Tramp) and I loved her so. But she made a horrid wreck of our little townhouse so one day my Dad "took her to the beach" to play, and when he returned she did not. "Where's Lady?" I said, and he said "I'm sorry sweetheart, Lady decided to go live with some farmers now" and I cried and cried because I thought "how come? Doesn't she love us anymore?" but I didn't tell Dad because he looked so upset.

57. I was so forlorn over the loss of Lady that my parents decided to get me a kitten. My kitten was named Spook. She was named Spook because she terrified me. She terrified me because -

56. When I was 4 or 5 (it's foggy now) my grandfather's dog Rex bit me. This happened after we lost Lady. My grandfather had turned it mean by keeping it chained up all the time, he turned it mean to protect my grandmother because my grandfather travelled lots. I was not aware of this, and went to pet him, and - well, I'm sure you can guess the rest. I didn't get any stitches but I do have a nice scar from it.

55. This kitten named Spook got her tail run over by a car when we were living in Quebec. So she had this little nub of a tail for the rest of her life. I think she blamed us because she ran away the night before we moved.

54. I really missed Spook a lot, and my parents got us two kittens afterward. Tonya, an orange tabby who ran away 3 weeks after we got her; and Tiger, another orange tabby who we are pretty sure was stolen from us because he never went farther than 3 feet away from the front door. He was skittish about everything.

53. As a result, we had no more pets while living in Quebec. When we moved back to Ontario we inherited an old long-haired cat named Angel. Angel stank to high heaven and had fleas something nasty, and was always getting burrs in her fur, and was altogether such a pain in the ass that we sent her packing back to the old farmer that gave her to us, and never had another pet until -

52. The year I turned 17 my friend N gave me a farm kitten whom I loved to bits and named Pooh. Pooh because he was orange and loved honeysuckle. He was the runt of the litter but turned out to be the biggest of them all and the only one who got to see old age.

51. My mother put Pooh down a few years ago and didn't bother to tell me about it until the deed was done. I'm still upset about it so it is one of those things our family never talks about.

50. We have a long list of "those things our family never talks about". I think it's a European thing - some things just aren't discussed.

I think I'll stop here and post from 49 to 1 later today. Mostly because I'm seeing a lot of things that need cleaning and am feeling guilty that they're not getting done just so I can fill out a damn list. Later gaters.

Getting a sense of deja-vu over the title? Ya me too. ;)

So let's see... well! Our friend JE finally has a girlfriend! He's 35 and it's like that Tragically Hip song about never kissing a girl. Except now he has! haha! Have not met his new flame but she sounds nice.

JE came over last night to try and help SO fix his computer. SO's comp just went kablooie one day about 3 weeks ago and since then you'd swear SO was the saddest grumpiest boy to ever live. JE confirmed what SO suspected already: the hard drive is pooched.

Work going well, I have to go in a bit earlier today to visit another department to see their process.

C is still having issues at school with friendships, she is one lonely little girl and I am banging my head against the wall about it because she just isn't listening to my suggestions. She complains she's lonely but she's too chicken to just up and ASK kids to play with her, mostly because the last two times she finally made friends this little E girl just up and scooped them up from under her nose stating "they'd rather play with me than with you, C" and WTF people she's only 7, this shit shouldn't be happening until they are at least twelve. If it were me being harrassed by this little queen bee I'd be giving her what-for. But C is a gentler soul than I so I'm at my wit's end and I think today will be the day I approach her teacher about it. I've staved off that option because C begged me not to but enough is enough.

Gotta go, more later.

I was born on a Tuesday, which is pretty dang funny when you think of it.

The weekend in TO was wonderful and just what the doctor ordered. SO & I had a fabulous time and the play was pretty good too. There were a few issues I had with it but I got over them well enough. Frodo & Sam were absolutely brilliant and the chap who played Gollum was magnificent. Gandalf could go suck an egg for all I cared, it felt like he kept forgetting his lines and he just wasn't fit for the part. The set was dazzling and costumes were lovely. We were ninth row in which was just close enough but just far enough. They touched on parts in the book that the movie didn't, which was a little refreshing, but probably also on purpose. Oh, and the lady who played Arwen was trying way too hard. If I had to guess I'd say she'd be more suited to operas and the like.

SO & I agreed we need to do these sorts of things more often. The couple we went with are like-minded people for the most part which added to the fun. We found a delightful Irish pub on King st and spent the rest of our evening there telling stories & carrying on... yes, in suits & dresses, haha. Got peculiar looks about that at first but none of us cared.

He hinted that he was planning a getaway for my birthday this year, it is my 30th and he wants to do something special, so hurrah for that and here's hoping he actually does it.

Work is going well, I'm growing more accustomed to some things but there's just. so. much! I'm answering the phones on my own no problem though, however my 3 bosses (yes, 3) are all hyperactively listening in on my phone calls, which has led them to actually cause the person on the other end to hang up because they hear so much clicking when I'm greeting them they think it's a bad connection! I don' t mind them listening in but really, it's a bit distracting and I'd get more out of it if they just left well enough alone and let me do what I need to do.

K & C really like the new babysitter which is a huge relief. They spent the entire March break with her & woke up hella early every morning just dying to go there. So hooray for that!

Last night I helped the mil organize her WSIB claims.... she has had 7 in the past 7 yrs... it was a LOT of work because the claims were all just lumped together in one big pile. By 7 pm I managed to finally get it all organized. We ended up eating dinner over there, sloppy joes which is probably my least liked meal but by 7 I was so hungry I didn't care. Seriously, SO loves the crap and I cannot stand it, but it's good in a pinch.


Ok time to get the kids going.

So after literally a few years of radio silence and not much more communication than annoying email forwards on her part, my friend T sent an actual email apologising for not keeping in touch and then mentioning that she is pregnant again, and her baby is due the day after my birthday. I emailed her back and explained that I also did not keep in touch more thoroughly, and that our friendship was better than that, and of course I was happy for her, bla bla bla.

While I am excited for her as I know she has always wanted lots of kids, I am sort of worried too because part of the reason why we weren't more in touch was because I cannot stand her husband. He is boorish and rude and altogether too bossy over her time & money for my tastes. Love is love I guess but I can't stand watching someone degrade their life partner in public and think that it is ok to do so. T deserves better but she'll never believe that. Vicious cycle.

My cousin L & her hubby JC came down a couple of weeks ago for dinner, and we had a marvellous time. SO really likes JC and they got into the vino and bonded over cards. L cannot play euchre to save her life the poor lamb but she was a good sport about it and I could care less if I win or lose at that game, so long as we're all having fun. The kids were especially excited about the visit because they just adore L and pounce on her the minute she walks in the door. Little K made "prepations" all morning waiting for them; he & C have gotten into making necklaces and things out of these buttons I bought at the fabricland for a dollar a bag. As soon as L came in he dragged her to the kitchen so they could make one together for her. Then he felt that JC must feel left out so he made one especially for JC. He kept calling JC "Jack" (not his name) and JC took it like a soldier and just let himself be known as Jack for the night. By the time they left both JC and my SO were pretty red-faced with the wine and looking starry-eyed. I hope they come again soon to visit or we go there sometime soon. I love spending time with them.

Speaking of visits, my cousin A came from Halifax to visit last weekend (she's staying at her mother's for the March break and wanted to come see me a day or two). It is always wonderful when she visits and much too far between the visits for either of our liking but such is life. We had a warm gathering and lots of food and wine and laughter. I missed A like crazy and was so very glad to see her.

Work is going well. I'm getting a better grip on things but I'm still by no means ready to answer any question that gets thrown at me. I realize that comes with time but I sometimes get frustrated with my lack of knowledge. What I find tremendously funny is that I can explain the hardest thing to explain (accounts under suspense, the hows and whys of it) but the easier things are lost on me. Ah well, it will come in time.

This weekend I'm going out with SO to see LOTR on stage. It should be interesting and for all accounts funny as hell because he doesn't know that it's a musical yet, bwahahah. We are going with mutual friends of ours, ME & JG (the same JG that was living with us a while, and the same ME that recently split up with her hubby). I for one am just looking forward to the mini-getaway, and could care less what we do, but I know SO was anxious to see the show and I think it will be fun. We're staying overnight in the city so we don't have to worry about driving home afterward. Let's see if I actually manage to sleep in; I'm guessing no because my inner clock is wired to wake me up at 6:30 every morning come hell or high water.

The new babysitter is working MARVELOUSLY with the kids; they can't wait till the next day to go to her house again, which is a great sign, and there have been fewer squabbles, which is a miraculous thing. They're bringing home little crafts and drawings every day, and bragging about what they got to do. I showed new babysitter the prospective babysitter's "contract", and new babysitter hooted over it. Literally hooted. She said it was obvious that a lot of it was taken from an ECE text, and the stuff she made up didn't even make sense or jive with the text stuff, and she was glad I wasn't sending my kids there. My cousin A who is working in the field also found her document to be rather sketchy, and wondered that the woman got anyone's kids at all with it.

More to say, not enough time to say it. I am hoping the nicer weather comes back to stay soon. This winter thing is depressing.

..and at the nth hour, I have procured myself a babysitter who is not only reliable, fun, and kids love, but is also a friend, so I know that I can trust her with my precious bundles of joy.

It hadn't even occurred to me to ask her, because I figured her plate was full babysitting wise. As it so happens, she does have availability for me so hip hip hooray! I couldn't be happier!

It came in the nick of time too, as I had been to visit with a prospective babysitter who not only turned out to be a bad fit, but just completely weird about some of her things. I have a 5 page "contract" outlining her expectations and a 4 page resume outlining her experience. The resume I can handle and appreciate very much. The "contract" spooked me more than a little and it involved way way too many rules on her side and way way too much compromise on mine. Sorry lady but I am the one hiring you, not the other way around. Also, the one room the kids were allowed to play in was tiny, and geared towards the baby-to-toddler age bracket. I can't see C & K hanging out there all day. She doesn't take the kids outside in wintertime because of the younger fry she watches after. Their snacks & meals are regimented and the kids are required to eat it. If they are hungry in between a drink of water or somesuch will have to do. Quiet time is mandatory in the afternoons to accomodate the littler ones needing naps.

If I happen to be standing there and the kids do something that I feel is perfectly fine but happens to go against her (many, many) rules, I must discipline them to show that I respect the rules of her house, even if I don't agree with them. Come again? Oh yes you read that right.

I'd also have to drop K off at her daughter's school as she waits with her there every morning (she has a daughter in JK mornings) and wouldn't be back home till 9:15. "What if its terrible weather?" "Then you'll have to drop him off earlier before I leave. I'll add an extra $x amount to my fee." Say what?

In the end I would have been on the hunt for a new one in a few months anyway, as she takes half the summer off (also she only allows for 4 weeks worth of call-ins without pay, meaning 20 days out of the year we could call her & tell her that we don't need her to watch the kids and she won't charge us for it. After that, we pay her regardless of whether or not we are there).

I'm tired of ranting about it, and it might not seem like there's much to rant about. The thing is there's FIVE PAGES worth of stuff and not all of it is coming to mind but trust me, I almost fell out of my chair when I read a lot of it.

So yeah. THANK YOU to my new babysitter, huzzah!

So in the end I called her this evening and thanked her for allowing us to visit her home, but that my husband and I felt she just wasn't the right fit for our kids. SO is relieved that we don't have to take the kids there.

To celebrate, I rented the new Harry Potter flick for the kids. This one was a bit trickier and I found myself explaining a lot of the nuances to the kids (or not explaining them, as I saw fit). The "scarier parts" where Voldemort comes back to life and Moody transforms back into Barty Croutch Jr. the kids spent huddled behind pillows begging me to tell them when it was over, but for the most part they were unphased by anything they saw.

SO is gonna have a hell of a good time tomorrow as both kids are home for March Break. Har har har!

As far as work is concerned, things are going well. They put me on the phones today for the first time (mostly I've been working as observer after I'd finished my stint in the tax department) and I was so nervous because there is sooooooooooo much stuff to know and I don't know much of anything. The one lady D keeps pushing me too. I mean the other girls in training got at least a full week of listening only before they were thrust upon the phone and even then the one girl is still only just typing what she hears from her "trainer". Me? D wanted me to do it on my own without a trainer's guidance for an hour!

I said hells no and put my foot down. I said I did not feel confident as of yet to be guiding the branches and law offices on policies without some help and did not feel comfortable doling out information of a calibre that I could not ascertain was of the standards expected in our department. Plus it would be bad for customer relations. Anyway. D seemed to understand but she said it looked like I was ready, but only I could gauge that and if I truly felt uncertain they would continue to train me with a trainer listening in on the calls and guiding me as I advised the various branches and law offices.

Just so you get the picture here, I have to be a fucking expert on mortgages, law, insurance, registration codes, and all the intricacies and subtexts within each. Mortgages at the bank I am working for come in alllll sorts of sizes and shapes, from flexible open to flexible closed to variable rates to fixed rates to bla bla bla bla bla. Mortgage insurance and loss of life insurance and health insurance and the differences between; prior recognition of ages for renewed mortgages. The policies behind when we are willing/able to backdate entries, adjust interest rates, change frequencies in payment, pay taxes, offset arrears, key and register disbursements. What documentation is required from the law office to close a deal, and when, and how much. How to find what I need to find when I need to find it. And learning in that split second exactly what the customer calling is looking for, and how to address their needs in a timely and friendly matter, no matter how cranky they are, so help them god.

Getting the picture yet? There's more to it than even I am jotting down but even what i'm jotting down is enough to set a girl a little squirrely by the end of the day. I am cramming a pint's worth of information into a shotglass space; there's going to be some spillage and sometimes it is going to get downright messy.

But even so, I like it. I really really like it. And I am sure it will get easier with time and that one day I will go in and know exactly what I'm doing and it will all just click.

But for now I am sticking to panic and mentally breathing into a paper bag seconds before I say "Thank you for calling ......... this is ........ speaking, how may I help you?"

Time to go watch special features on that Potter DVD (aka falling asleep on the couch till SO gets home and pulls my sorry sad carcass up to bed).

Dana Reeve sung the following tune in a TV film her husband produced. It was the first thing I thought of when Christopher Reeve passed away, and it came to mind again today when I read about her own passing.

In the gloaming, oh my darling,
When the lights are dim and low,
And the quiet shadows falling,
Softly come, and softly go.

When the winds are sobbing faintly,
With a gentle lull of woe,
Will you think of me and love me,
As you did once long ago?

In the gloaming, oh my darling,
Think not bitterly of me,
Though I passed away in silence,
Left you lonely, set you free.

For my heart was crushed with longing,
What had been could never be,
It was best to leave you thus dear,
Best for you, and best for me.

Be at peace, Mrs. Reeve.