0
If it weren't for poor luck...
Posted by Slowplum
on
2/26/2005 06:35:00 PM
I should have known when we went to the chinese restaurant today (my mother, myself, & the kidlets) and my fortune cookie had no fortune in it, that today would not go as planned.
Mom was taking the kids overnight so SO & I could have some VERY much needed time together. I left my Mom's at around 3 pm and went to the store & got some things... nice clothes (you know the kind I mean) and the cutest underwear that says "you're fired!" on them and they look like underoos and they made me laugh so there. The pseudo-underoos wasn't the things I got for SO, that was something for me. Anyway. Got SO his favorite drink and etc. Pulled out some steak & stuff for barbecue. Made my favorite pasta salad. Got myself together. Did a little laundry.
I was in a good mood and was even prepping stuff to make SO's favorite dessert - lava cake. Then a knock on the door and "didn't you get my phone messages?" - I didn't even bother checking when I walked in the door at 4. K is pretty sick, the poor little guy, and as a result, there will be no dinner, no talking, no nonsense, just me playing the role of mommy taking care of K. C is staying at my mom's house because she was so looking forward to it. K was too, so he must have been REALLY sick to ask to go home. :(
While I feel so bad for the little guy, and hate to see him sick, the little selfish person inside of me is going "it fucking figures, why do I even bother to try anymore?". I'm heartsick because there is a lonely inside of me in the shape of SO and it isn't the sexual type of lonely, though that is always good and great and wonderful, it is more of the companionship type in the way of "let's talk about anything but our roles as parents and employees". I want to be drawn up into his arms and held and spoken to and listened to and laughed at and with.
I just went out to start the barbecue, and slipped and fell ass-over-teakettle down the steps. Stupid snow and ice. Stupid life. *snarl*
I am stressed, and tense, and it's been one HELL of a week, and for once I just need to be selfish, goddammit, and I can't. I can't. And that makes me even more stressed and tense. Damn damn damn damn and damn.
Mom was taking the kids overnight so SO & I could have some VERY much needed time together. I left my Mom's at around 3 pm and went to the store & got some things... nice clothes (you know the kind I mean) and the cutest underwear that says "you're fired!" on them and they look like underoos and they made me laugh so there. The pseudo-underoos wasn't the things I got for SO, that was something for me. Anyway. Got SO his favorite drink and etc. Pulled out some steak & stuff for barbecue. Made my favorite pasta salad. Got myself together. Did a little laundry.
I was in a good mood and was even prepping stuff to make SO's favorite dessert - lava cake. Then a knock on the door and "didn't you get my phone messages?" - I didn't even bother checking when I walked in the door at 4. K is pretty sick, the poor little guy, and as a result, there will be no dinner, no talking, no nonsense, just me playing the role of mommy taking care of K. C is staying at my mom's house because she was so looking forward to it. K was too, so he must have been REALLY sick to ask to go home. :(
While I feel so bad for the little guy, and hate to see him sick, the little selfish person inside of me is going "it fucking figures, why do I even bother to try anymore?". I'm heartsick because there is a lonely inside of me in the shape of SO and it isn't the sexual type of lonely, though that is always good and great and wonderful, it is more of the companionship type in the way of "let's talk about anything but our roles as parents and employees". I want to be drawn up into his arms and held and spoken to and listened to and laughed at and with.
I just went out to start the barbecue, and slipped and fell ass-over-teakettle down the steps. Stupid snow and ice. Stupid life. *snarl*
I am stressed, and tense, and it's been one HELL of a week, and for once I just need to be selfish, goddammit, and I can't. I can't. And that makes me even more stressed and tense. Damn damn damn damn and damn.