0
explanation
Posted by Slowplum
on
2/22/2005 06:43:00 AM
more weird dreams, this time i can't remember them but they've left this lingering sleepy feeling in my eyes. ever look in the mirror but could not focus on yourself for the life of you? yeah, that feeling.
trying to explain my question yesterday with regards to my employ, it started by my coming home from yet another terrible day at work and pretty much crying in the car for the duration of SO driving me home. he said that it bothered him that only 3 days back into work, i'm already a mess of stress etc. and that i should just quit. that no matter what i decided, he would support that decision, but if it was a matter of money, that we would be okay, lots of families live on one income and we can do it too. that if it was a matter of my just wanting some independance, to find a little part time job that would be no-stress and still give me some playing money, but still let me do what i needed to do.
he said he and the kids really enjoyed having me home, and i have to admit it, i enjoyed being home. i don't know how long i've felt little pangs of jealousy over moms who worked part-time and got to do lots of things with their kids, get involved in their school & etc. i always shrugged these feelings off by telling myself that "eventually the kids get over their need for me and at least if i keep at this job i will have something to fall on etc" i don't even know what i'm saying anymore.
all i know is i spent a good long time crying last night and completely confused about what i should do.
trying to explain my question yesterday with regards to my employ, it started by my coming home from yet another terrible day at work and pretty much crying in the car for the duration of SO driving me home. he said that it bothered him that only 3 days back into work, i'm already a mess of stress etc. and that i should just quit. that no matter what i decided, he would support that decision, but if it was a matter of money, that we would be okay, lots of families live on one income and we can do it too. that if it was a matter of my just wanting some independance, to find a little part time job that would be no-stress and still give me some playing money, but still let me do what i needed to do.
he said he and the kids really enjoyed having me home, and i have to admit it, i enjoyed being home. i don't know how long i've felt little pangs of jealousy over moms who worked part-time and got to do lots of things with their kids, get involved in their school & etc. i always shrugged these feelings off by telling myself that "eventually the kids get over their need for me and at least if i keep at this job i will have something to fall on etc" i don't even know what i'm saying anymore.
all i know is i spent a good long time crying last night and completely confused about what i should do.