you know what's worse than your workplace catching fire thus leading to you having to stay an extra hour to catch up for the hour you missed during the whole fiasco?

having the Y catch fire while you are in the middle of aquafit. on the same day.

it's daaaaaamn cold come nightfall. especially in a sopping wet bathing suit.

But you really don't remember, was it something that they said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?

last night went out to dinner with some friends, it was JK's birthday so we went to Falstaff's where I delighted my taste buds with rare steak, spring vegetables and baked potato.

Then it all unravelled when a certain person I haven't seen or talked to in a while shows up and gives that bitchy "I hate you but I suppose I'll just smile at you" smile and kept glaring over at me every few minutes. I haven't done a single thing to her and I don't know where the animosity comes from; I just know I don't have the time for shit like that and was about to say something evil when instead I just waved sarcastically and said "yeah good to see you" and she was going to bite back some scathing comment but I cut her off at the pass by talking to someone else.

Because I love JK so much, to diffuse the situation, I left.

And went right over to another bar where my other half was hanging out eating chicken wings with the boys. I snuck in a different entryway and bribed the bartender to send them an anonymous pitcher, from bonton. The bonton thing is a huge inside joke between them that would take to long to explain, but trust me, it's funny. I then drove around a while and came back to see if he & his father wanted a ride home instead of taking cab. They didn't of course and he immediately knew it was me that sent out that beer. Told me to have a seat while they drank some more, so of course I did.

His friend JG kept hitting on me to try and get a rise out of him but he wasn't biting, which really really pissed JG off. heheheh Then the evening turned to a point where they were shouting to try and speak over each other's voices, so I sat back and sort of laughed and lit up one of JG's cigarettes. Which of course shocked SO's father as he'd never seen me smoke before.

SO's father: *blink* When did you start smoking?
me: oh, about 18...
his dad: Really? I've never seen you do this before
SO: That's because she doesn't get away with it too often.

At this point he gives me a meaningful look like "yer lucky you bought me a pitcher woman" and of course I responded by jabbing him in the ribs with my elbow. To piss SO off, JG wraps an arm around me and says "Poor baby he won't let you smoke, you can have all the cigarettes you like just take them, go on" and SO gave him a purple nurple in response. hahaha. This is how these two interact on a regular basis. We jokingly call them the Grumpy Old Men.

SO really, really hates the habit and I've been really good about not doing it, but some days, you just cannot help it.

I had taken the day off yesterday and took the kids to London to shop for school clothes & other necessities. Then we went to McDonald's for lunch so they could play in the playplace. Then we went to a friends' home where there are four sons, aka "The Four Boys' House, mum". On the way to my parents' home where they kids were staying last night and today, C gave out a huge sigh. I asked her what was wrong she said that her head was all mixed up. I asked her why she said "There was too much good stuff today, mom, it's all mixed up in there. Do you think mootie will make me a tea? That might make me feel better." Then she went into this really long explanation about the brain and stuffing too much goodness in there all at once causes one to have a headache. Then K had to pipe up with "Yeah me too" every couple of minutes. They are so cute.

Ok enough procrastinating, time for that work type thing.

Hope you are happy, JPk, I finally posted something.

say you believe just how easy
it is to please me...
because when you learn
you'll know what makes the world turn

the funeral was hard but the service was beautiful and i could actually follow it although it was in a dialect of portuguese that was unfamiliar to me.

you know it's a hard funeral when the attending priest breaks down.

he was so thin they had had to stuff him so that he would look decent for visitation.

his daughter was an absolute wreck.

it's a little depressing, realizing that i am getting to the point in my life where i only see some family at weddings, funerals, etc.

it's also very depressing that in my 28 year tenure on this planet, i have yet to attend a family funeral where the person died of natural causes. i have been to no less than 2 family funerals a year since i was ten and all - ALL - have been cancer. on both sides.

future outlook: grim.

and i kept thinking about my grandfather today. it's only natural i suppose. i saw where my other grandfather was buried today as well. i had to drive my grandmother home after all was said and done and she asked me point blank why i didn't bother to attend his funeral. and i couldn't tell her because telling her would mean opening a huge wound and i could never do that to her. the woman has seen enough.

i'm tired and weepy and strangely horny. heh. probably a lot of untended-to anxiety and nowhere to put it or something. although i'm sure there's a study somewhere out there that would prove that grief brings that emotion out in a lot of people.

anyway, i've been up since 4 and didn't go to sleep until 1 so i'm wiped. nightnight.

at 2 am this morning my mom's cousin RC's husband succumbed to stomach cancer. cancer has destroyed more people in my life than i can even begin to articulate. VG was a terrific person and kind and wonderful; RC even more so. they were best man and matron of honor at my parents' wedding.

they were among the first in my extended family to congratulate me when i was pregnant with my first child. they were among the first in my extended family to try and make my other half feel welcome. vg was always laughing and telling jokes and making you feel like being around him was a gift, you know? and that gift has been taken away.

and maybe i'm a little angry right now because, like i said, i've lost a lot of loved ones to cancer, and i'm sick of it. and maybe i'm a little sad.

new flooring is all in, took the whole weekend but it's in by damn. it looks good and made the rooms look a lot bigger.

new kitchen table & chairs, new couch & new tv cabinet coming this week.

newnewnewnewnew

mind you we're broke now haha but who cares the house looks more like the way we wanted it to look and it feels more like ours. i still maintain a place is not your own until you've done something for it.

weird dream about spiderwebs and spiders with colorings like zebras and people acting very strangely.

i'm sleepy and don't wanna go in to work. mrrmrmelrehmrem.

Julia Child was hardcore. When Oprah took a peek into celebrity refridgerators, Ms. Child's contents pretty much had only a beer and some condiments, but damned if she didn't end up making something tasty out of it.

so in the past little while I:

- volunteered my time for a benefit dance for a little girl with an inoperable brain tumor & her family

- messed up the mayor & councellors w/whipped cream during said benefit to raise funds

- received a gift from my sister-in-law consisting of pink fuzzy slippers, a pink thong w/fuzzy tail, pink garter w/fuzzy on it, satin pink dressing robe.

- sent out a birthday present to my cousin L via a third party site (hopefully she will be receiving said parcel shortly)

- gave my mother a kitch-y birthday card and the movie "something's gotta give" and some little pieces of art that she absolutely adored ("you always get the coolest gifts, peach" - high praise indeed from her, believe you me)

- went and visited my friend SMc on her birthday because she was home alone - her hubby was working and she didn't have a sitter for their son. she nearly fell over when i called her, it had been that long since we'd talked. she said it was spooky how i always had the knack to know just when i needed to appear again in her life. heh.

- bought one of halspal's books

- visited my cousin in barrie for my birthday. she made home made lasagne & salad and we had ice cream cake and oh my i was full and happy. she kept bugging me about what i wanted to do and couldn't fathom how i could just be content sitting in her apartment, not saying much, watching sopranos reruns and drinking. it just felt so very, very good to unwind for a change with no obligation to anything or anyone.

- joined the local Y and signed up for some classes. enough of this being out of shape crap.

- was nicer to myself than i have been in a long, long time.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

went to Barrie over the weekend to visit family, it was a good visit, but traffic was HELL ON EARTH

blarrrr

and I had to work the holiday Monday.

And I don't wanna go in to work today.

And the thunderstorm we had Monday night was TERRIFIC. Big blasting booms that shook the house, and lightning bright enough to read by.

I finally broke down and started reading those damn Harry Potter books. Now I'm all confused as to why they chose to exclude some things from the movie, etc etc

I'm sleepy and we are out of bananas. WOE! TRAGEDY!

heheh.

It's my mom's birthday on Thursday, and I'm trying to think of something really nice for her, because she's still in a deal of pain and needs some cheering up.

Thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes, and thank you mitch for remembering the crayon story. :)

If there is anything I really want to remember about the night of my birthday, it's this: my children and my husband sitting at the table, smiling and singing happy birthday to me, one candle from 1/2 a strawberry shortcake winking at me. Glowing candle, glowing faces, and feeling more loved than I probably deserve.