read note from teacher i found in bottom of C's schoolbag this morning about C kicking & shoving kids and telling kids she hates them. and not wanting to participate in class. and lots of other things. so i had a long talk with C and we all cried this morning me her and K in the kitchen because i am at my wit's end. i told her under NO circumstances was it ok to hurt other people, didn't she see how upset we got when K came home with bruises, how did she think other parents felt when their kids came home hurt and knowing SHE did it?
also discussed school and that she is there to do what she needs to do. just like when SO and i are at work, we are there doing what we need to do. we don't always like it but we don't always have a choice.
took her to school and talked to the teacher while she was out at before-class recess. we had a long discussion about the behavior and she said that she thinks part of the problem is that C internalizes too much, she has a temper (does she ever) and that she is too smart for the class. she is reading well beyond a grade 2 level and she's only in grade 1. she never has much homework to bring home because she does it all in class. she gets frustrated with reading group because others are stumbling over words that she knows like the back of her hand. she got word wizard status just this week for having 28 of 30 words spelled correctly when most of her class only are getting 10. she is in a mixed grade 1/2 class.
she seems to be doing very well with the circle of friends program (a program where she signs up to spend time with special needs children during recess to help them feel a part of the gang etc. we have several autistic students and celeste not only displays an unending amount of patience with them, she is truly caring about them and tries to include them when she can).
so she's doing a lot of positive things, said the teacher, but that her recent negative behavior is becoming a concern. she has pushed people in line quite a few times and kicked a boy once because he wanted her to run a marathon in order to be able to play with him & a few others. the principal knows of course and he suggested she set up a meeting with us. she said she wanted to let me decide that because she knew that SO & i are very involved in our kids' day-to-day lives and that she knew it wasn't a matter of getting through to us, for cooperation, because we would. she was hoping it was just a growing pain on C's part and didn't want to involve us if it could be resolved at school but that enough was enough. so i thanked her for letting me know what was going on and assured her i would continue to stress to C the importance of treating others the way she would like to be treated and continuing to work *with* others instead of refusing to do anything.
C confessed to me this morning that she's angry with me for being away at work so much, and why can't i be like other mommies who pick their kids up every day and bake cookies and volunteer in the classroom and do a million things i don't? and i told her i was trying, that i loved her just as much as other moms love their kids, probably even moreso. that i come to more things for her school than my mom ever had a chance to. that i always do things with her and her brother whenever i can, i don't just buy them toys and stick them in a corner, i take them to places and teach them things about their world and treat them like the wonderful special people that they are. that i am trying to find a different job so that i can spend more time at home. and that if she really wanted mommy home, she would have to give up some luxuries and we'd have to make do without some things. and she told me this: "you are better than EVERYTHING, mom, EVERYTHING" and she started bawling and i started to cry and then K cried too because he saw us crying and wasn't sure what we were going on about.
all that happened in the span of an hour.
then i went to see my doctor and he told me to stay home until at least tuesday, and see him again on monday to re-evaluate my health. i'm wheezing and coughing like a mofo. now i'm going to bed as i am stressed, tired, sick, and et cetera.
how was YOUR morning?