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Posted by Slowplum on 2/04/2002 08:08:00 AM
I love waking up in the middle of the night and finding him there, breathing quietly next to me. I love the fact that after all this time, he is still there. After all the bullshit after all the hell and after all the everything, I am still here. I love the fact that even though there are days when I would happily rip him to shreds, never once, NOT ONCE have I ever stopped loving him.

Five long hard years and we are still together. I have known this man since I was fifteen. It took us five years before we both woke up and realized that the person we needed wanted loved and were waiting for all our lives, was right under our nose the whole time. We were friends long before we were lovers.

The funniest part is there was always the pull, always the allure. Never spoken until years later. Neither of us ever knew or realized.

I feel incredibly lucky to have this. My god so lucky. Even on the days when I feel like throwing dishes at him because I am frustrated and we fight, even then I feel it. Because it's *our* dishes in *our* home and *our* argument. Fighting is normal. I wouldn't have that part of it any other way. Reminds us that even though we are a couple, we are both individuals and will not always see things eye to eye.

There are still days after all this time that I will look at him and my heart skips a beat. I can look into his eyes and no matter what else is going on, I see love there. This incredible man is mine.
I love the fact that after all this time, there are still times when we surprise each other by doing something out of the blue. I love the fact that sometimes, words are unnecessary and we will know what the other needs and is thinking about.

I love the fact that after bearing two of his children, I never feel ugly in his eyes. Even on the days I hate myself, I can look to him and see that I should not worry about these things. Even on the days when the house is a mess and the kids are a mess and *I* am a mess, he will kiss me the way he did when we were first lovers. And then he will do what he can to help sort it all out again.

I love the fact that I can trust him. I mean really and truly trust him. Do you have any idea how rare this is? To love without jealousy? Oh, in the beginning I was wickedly jealous. He has this way about him that draws people in. But with time I learned that he isn't that sort of person. He has never intentionally hurt my feelings. He has never made me feel that I was not worth his time. He has never done the million things that every other man I was ever involved with managed to do to hurt me in whatever way they could.

We accept each other's faults with each other's glories. There are no pedestals here. Just the solid ground beneath us and the sky around us. And these are enough. Because we see the miracle in each other that people spend their whole lives looking for.
I could probably go on forever about this.

It was these thoughts that ran through my head in the middle of the night. It was these thoughts that caused me to pounce upon him.

Because what's a relationship without a little rough-and-tumble sex now and then?

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