yesterday was one rollercoaster of a day, piece de resistance being a 4 hr stay in the hospital from an apparent panic attack. more later.

thanks for birthday wishes.

happy birthday to me

Tomorrow it will be seven years since my grandfather MP's funeral. It will seem like yesterday to me. I don't know. Something is making me feel uneasy. Tomorrow I also turn 29. Not that it matters. It's just another day, right?



When I have nothing left to feel.
When I have nothing left to say
I'll just let this slip away.

I feel these engines power down.
I feel this heart begin to bleed
as I turn this burning page.

Please forgive me if I bleed.
Please forgive me if I breathe.
I have words I need to say.
Oh so very much to say.

And whose life do I lead?
And whose blood do I bleed?
Whose air do I breathe?
With whose skin now do I feel?

I'm supposed to walk away from here.
I'm supposed to walk away from here.

And whose life do I lead?
Whose blood do I bleed?
Whose air do I now breathe?
I'm convinced there's nothing more.

The day you died I lost my way.
The day you died I lost my mind.

What am I supposed to do?
Is there something more?

The engines power down.
Like a soldier to his end I go.
Because I'm convinced
that there is nothing more.

and whose life do I lead
and whose air do I breathe?
With whose skin and whose blood do I feel?

What happens now?
Have I done something wrong?

Forgive my need to bleed right now.
Please forgive my need to breathe
But I've so much to say
and it wouldn't matter anyway.
You're not here to hear these words that I must say
and I'm convinced inside
that there is nothing more.

Whose life do I lead?
Whose air do I breathe.
Whose blood do I now bleed?
With whose skin now do I feel?

I have nothing left to say.
I have nothing left to feel.
Am I supposed to let this go now,
let darkness come and take you away?

((VNV Nation - Forsaken))

Took the kids to the zoo yesterday as part of K's birthday present. It was a great time and we got to see some lovely animals, ie the red panda. They have a splash pad and a kids interactive part now too. My parents went with us and before we entered the zoo we had a picnic in the park just outside of it.

K's favorite parts were the polar bears and the otters. C's were the red pandas and the butterflies. In the Indo-Malayan area there are hundreds of different butterflies flying all over the place, it was pretty cool. Myself? Always has been and will be the orang utans... although their aquarium displays are breathtaking as well. Can't wait to develop the photos!

K slept the whole way home and was in good spirits when he woke up 2 minutes before we pulled into the driveway. Usually he is a cranky bear when he wakes up from a car-nap.

We have this routine in which we sing the Johnny Appleseed song before bedtime and then we each take a turn saying what we were thankful for that day. It's just something I started a year back to get them ending their days on a positive note, regardless of what may have happened. C was thankful for her little gift shop monkey, but K? "I'm thankful for you, mom."

My little K turns 5 today. Happy birthday, boy of mine.

I have Jia Ren Qu (the Beauty Song from House of Flying Daggers) stuck in my head.

...so i'm a slacker. sue me.

Five things I enjoy:

1. well-coated ketchup chips

2. the smell of lilacs breezing in through my window (tho sadly, this is no longer the case)

3. true laughter

4. dancing

5. a good meal and a nice nap afterward

Tag, or somesuch:

lometa
trunkbutt
panamaus
kg4yef
orangejulius

scotty was my favorite.

i always fall asleep before the end of casablanca. always.

is there one movie that you've never seen the end of, or only ever seen bits and pieces of?

called in sick today, and left work early yesterday. my stomach is in knots.

our friend JG & his wife split up yesterday, i have a feeling we will be having a house guest for a little while as JG works in stratford but the house is in woodstock and now they are selling it. this is the same JG whose wife was accused of messing around with his cousin about a year ago. i'd bet dollars to donuts (what a messed up saying THAT is) that he is the reason why they are leaving, although JG says it is on amicable terms... hrm...

our friend JB & his wife and daughter and newborn daughter came to visit on sunday. they are prrrrrrrrecious and i love babies! the best thing about babies is that you can spoil em and then send em home bwahaha. i got my gramma to knit her a blanket and JB's wife really liked it. it's funny i see his wife's dad every day because he drives one of our trucks at work and delivers the mail between plants... but the last time i saw them was probably just after their first daughter was born, and she's two now! i am the worst friend ever. mind you they said the same thing about themselves. heheheh

it's just that kids eat up so much time and life that it slips right through your fingers. the true mark of friendship is not the amount of times get together it is what you do when you see each other next. if you can pick up like nothing happened - then there is a friend. if it is awkward and filled up with lots of pauses... then you might wonder. i don't know. now i'm just rambling sick.

re: potter. finished it within hours when you add it all up. it was delicious. L, to soothe your nerves, ron doesn't die, m'k? but... nah i won't tell you.

The wedding was so fabulous and all had a good time. My uncle MP's speech was wonderful, he was a bit slurry at first because he was so nervous. He played a tape that L had made for him when she was like, 4 years old. It made most of us cry because it showed how much he loved her, that he managed to keep a tape around for 20 years, and was willing to share it with us.

Everything was perfect except the weather, it rained like heck AND on the way to G'town lightning struck the mall and set it on fire! We saw it happen as we were driving...TENSE trip, I must say.

We ended up staying in Guelph overnight which was nice as a drive home was the last thing we wanted to worry about. We stayed to pretty much the end of the night. i have to say, JC's family is pretty fabulous and I'm so happy for the two of them. L looked so beautiful but I managed not to cry (sap that I am, this is nothing short of a miracle). I did however cry when JPk (the maid of honor and also our cousin) said her speech to L. We're all a bunch of saps, what can I say?

The food was superb of course a Portuguese wedding so 5 courses and a midnight buffet, woo! Host bar too which made SO very very happy, hehe. The gifts for guests were four crystal shotglasses & of course the traditional candied almonds. Damn I love those things for some odd reason.

The kids had a blast as well although C was being uncharacteristically shy and refused to dance... I think she was just so overwhelmed by everything, this is the first wedding they've been to that they were aware of what is going on. K had no problem though and danced enough for both of them. He refused to let SO & I dance together and more or less cut in on anybody's time with me, heheh.

We stopped at a small diner on the way home for some breakfast. It was a family run operation and the meal was HUGE. And so very good. Overall, this has been a terrific weekend.

Harry Potter: I'm about halfway through the book, it is fabulous but I had to put it down because I was getting too upset. I'm placing bets that someone really important dies - probably Dumbledore.

Ack. Ok back to it then.

Today is L's wedding! Today is also Harry Potter day! So hooray! I have the book, and I have a decent dress, what more can I ask for?

So we went to go see Fantastic Four last night and I had to leave halfway through the movie to go throw up and then I just went home. SO & the kids say the rest of the movie was pretty good. I'm not sure why I got sick... I'm guessing something I ate. In any case I lay like a limp noodle on my couch for the rest of the night. And I'm all mad because I was really looking forward to seeing the movie, and what I'd seen was pretty good, and grrr.

L's getting married this weekend, it should be fun & the kids are pretty excited because they were invited too.

I considered calling in sick today, because my stomach is still doing weird things, but I'd rather go in and be sent home than call in.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY lometa!!!!! ?

So I've had the teeny little super guy song in my head all. freaking. day. If you scroll down on this page there is a wav file of it.

Wedding to go to tomorrow. Dunno if I am excited or bla about it yet. Edging closer to bla. But! I got a new dress so hooray!

I forget whose journal I saw this link in. avaaricious, I think.

"There has been a widespread outbreak of grumbling and tutting today in London, along with a large number of people going home instead of to work, with a certain amount of guilty pleasure.
Sorry, bad guys. We've been bombed before, and we just adjust our day to account for it. This is London calling."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEATBALL!!!

Yesterday was a very, very good day.

Got to sleep in a little as kids were tuckered out from the previous night's festivites & fireworks. The fireworks display was pretty darn good as well, so I expect my taxes to go up next month to pay for the things. haha.

My mom called sometime yesterday morning asking if she & my dad could take the kids to visit her sister and her sister's kids. I said sure so we packed their bags and dropped them off. Then SO & I went out for lunch at Crabby's and sat on the patio gorging on ribs and salad and drinks under the warm sun. I got my first sunburn from it in I don't know how long. Usually I don't get much color AT ALL no matter what I do.

After lunch we went downtown and looked through all the shops, just window-shopping basically. We spent a great deal of time in Family & Company. That store is full of fun stuff.

After that we came home and just more or less relaxed the day away. It was so nice and I don't recall the last time he & I actually had TIME to do anything together so it was nice.

I got to sleep in today again too, hooray!

RIP Luther

today is the first canada day i've had off in six years.

anyhow, meme time.

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me.

It can only be one word.

No more.

Then copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.