Life, I really hate you right now.

My heart is in a million tiny pieces. I took Missy to the vet this morning - she had gotten worse overnight. Her breathing was very labored, her tongue sticking out and she was drooling like mad. He wanted to start her on a puffer, I said I am not going to torture my cat twice a day by sticking that thing on her face, especially if you can't guarantee it will help - she wasn't even getting a little better on the regular medicine, in fact she got worse. If it really were 'cat asthma' she'd have shown just a bit of improvement, not worse symptoms. I couldn't let her live like that so I made the decision, even though it just crushed me to do it.

Now I'm trying to sort out what I'm going to tell my kids. I don't think they're going to like me very much for not letting them say goodbye.

Adding to the pot of sorrows is finding out my mom has about 70% chance she has breast cancer, and my friend died of ovarian cancer yesterday. Still haven't heard from my neurologist either.

I feel like shit and my head hurts from crying and I really really hate my life right now. I think if one more bad thing happens I'm going to scream.