I spent an hour with C tonight holding her while she cried. She is terribly lonely and upset and says she spends more recess time by herself than playing with anyone. Most of the girls in her grade are paired off with someone. Adding insult to injury is the fact that most of the girls in her class are ones she's had little exposure to; the ones she knows better are all in the straight grade 2 class. For whatever messed up reason, the classes seem to segregate even on the outside and while sometimes she does play with her friends from last year, they more or less have their own agendas. The one girl K that she was starting to spend more time with was apparently whisked away by the ("really bossy mom, I mean I know I can be bossy but I've been so good but this girl is MEAN") girl Em and I don't know. ("Mommy, why doesn't anybody like me? Why?") What do I know? How do I repair a seven year old's self esteem?

She kept saying over and over that "All I really want is just one really good friend, mom, I don't need an army, just one. Just one." And she cried oh she cried and I cried too between trying to encourage her to just "ask others to play" ("But I do that mom, and they just ignore me! They just walk away and ignore me!") I don' t know if I'm getting the whole of it but I don't think she'd lie about the fact that she's spending her recess time alone.I have tried to teach her to be more assertive but I know her and if she says she's tried, she has tried so now what?

(And maybe, just maybe, I feel for her because I remember being little and lonely too. And that never goes away does it? It took me years to learn to be strong and to say "to hell with it" when nobody wanted me around, and I learned that my own company often was better than that of anyone else, but I will be damned if I just stand by and let her feel that way, so what do I do? Here is a girl who is cutting my heart out with her words and I don't know how to make it better. Here is a girl trusting me to somehow make it better, and I feel completely and utterly useless.)

OH MY! I WANT!

There are way too many to choose from, but I love the devil ducks best I think.

Oprah: "I'm watching James... Everyone's been asking me to release a statement... We support the book... hundreds of thousands of people have been helped by this book... I am disappointed by this controversy... because I rely on the publishers to define the category the book falls within... Although some of the facts have been questioned... the underlying message of redemption... still resonates with me... Whether or not the car rolled up on the sidewalk... is irrelevant to me... What is relevant is that he was a drug addict... and out of that...stepped out of that history... to allow other people to save themselves... What I think is this is going to open up the discussion for publishers... The bigger question is what does this mean for the larger publishing world and this new memoir category? This discussion will be furthered by the so-called controversy... Much ado about nothing... So much of the story ...is inside the clinic..."


Huh. Well, there you have it.

I think I might bookmark these predictions and see if any come true, hahha!

I think one of the best, funniest ones is:

Suicide will increase amongst Dentists.

Here are some more crazy predictions from last year!

While it saddens me a little to see it blared all over the net about James Frey's discrepancies in his "100% true" memoir, it doesn't really surprise me. Half the fun of writing is embellisment and the other half is gripping your audience with bone-crunching, blood-gushing, vomit-forming (etc) stories.

I'm dying to see if Oprah recants her decision or at the very least, asks him to return to the show so she can grill him like a shrimp-kebab. While I'm not a huge Oprah fan, I would definitely watch that one.

Regardless of all the bru-ha-ha about this, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I recommended it to many people. I stand by that recommendation. It really is a good book. It truly does take the reader along for the ride. Would my enjoyment of said book be any less? Not really. But then, I don't tend to group books like most, with labels such as "fiction", "non-fiction", "science fiction", whatever. When I initially started to read it, did I know it was a memoir? I will be honest with you, I did not. Am I surprised that the criminal aspect of his book is mostly exaggerated? Not really. Do I believe he fabricated his addiction as well? No. Being in a family with addicts, having dated an addict, having been in situations where I'm surrounded by them, there is too much ringing true for that to be in dispute. Do I believe that he probably embellished memories of his time there? More than likely. Especially the beginning of the detoxification, I mean how can you remember all that in such detail when your life is glazed over by it?

Nowhere in the Smoking Gun article is there anything disputing the addiction as well. Mind you I also tend to rate the Smoking Gun with an online version of The National Enquirer: a really good read, mostly pulp, and feeding on negative publicity. Is some of it true? More than likely. Is all of it true? Cautionary words: It's the internet. So probably not.

To recap: Frey's book? Very good. All lies? Possibly, but not likely. Do I care? Nope.

Recap for my own notes:

Resumes posted to: 2 small businesses, 3 locally owned stores, 1 chain store

Interviews: 3

Job offers: 0, thus far

Aye carumba. I forgot how much it sucks to be doing this sort of thing.

See here's the thing. I can't think about the Epiphany without thinking about my grandfather (on my father's side), and my heart makes this little lurch down to my knees, and I feel the wind knocked out of me. That's what it does. Every time.

Last night was the first evening before the Epiphany in literally 7 years that I did not dream about him.

Instead I had a dream about someone I haven't seen or spoken to in years, and we had a sincere conversation which is something we have never, ever done. And I woke up exhausted and broken and really, really sad.

And just now, I remembered, oh yes, it's that time again and I felt a queer little quiver in the space where my heart should be and then I stopped and waited for the lurch and the wind and nothing. Nothing happened.

So maybe I'm learning, little by little, to let go of the grief. But I'm still not sure about that dream. It was too vivid to dismiss.

I don't know I don't know I don't know.

YESSSS!

This should be an interesting Oscars night!

Too tired to say much except that the kids and I had a lovely day at a friend's house, I made it home in time to have dinner already ready for SO, and I had a power nap. Dinner was chicken and tortellini and peas. Mmmm.

And now I feel that it should be announced, today is the day for The Taking of the Long Bath. Possibly followed by the Usage of the Manicure Kit, and possibly Watching Girlie Movies in Leopard Print PJs. With or without a facial mask? I'll toss a coin.

Awww.

Hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve. I know I did, but I'm paying for it a little.

Ok sleep time.

This just about sums up how all of us feel today. Christmas was wonderful but an exhausting cacophany of noise and color and light. God bless us, every one.

Merry Christmas to One and All! 

The kids are literally bouncing off the walls; have been since Tuesday. There is nothing I can say and no amount of mom type looks that will calm them down. Getting the kitten probably doesn't help.

Yeah, the kitten? She totally loves SO, but at night, who does she want? Me. When she doesn't feel like going to sleep yet, who does she bug? Yours truly. Who is feeding her? You guessed it.

She likes to perch on my shoulder like a little furry parrot, it's quite cute but a bit cumbersome when I'm trying to do stuff.

Kids had their Christmas concert tonight. K was just hilarious, belting out his song and doing the actions very exaggeratedly. He also seemed to be the only one of a few that actually bowed when everyone started clapping. Haha! Then he managed to talk a parent into bringing him back to where I was sitting w/everyone. I initially was asked to sit at the front to help his teacher, and SO immediately assumed it meant he could sit too, and then the JK teacher stepped up and told us to go to the back because we were taking up space. Ah me, such is life. C was very good as well and she always puts forth a lot of effort when it comes to any kind of performance. I love going to these things, the kids just crack me up and make my heart swell a little.

I did fifteen million tons of baking this afternoon and the result was I sent half of it to the school social tonight. We didn't actually make it to said after-concert social because my friend's aunt passed away over the weekend and the wake was tonight. I am so close with him that there would be no excusing my presence, it would be like not going to my own aunt's wake.

Such a terrible time of year to lose somebody. But she's better off now, cancer is a sonofagun and it's best she goes before she really starts to deteriorate, and is spared pain as well as her family being spared the pain of watching her die slowly in front of them.

Didn't mean for this post to be morose. Truly, I didn't.

My sister-in-law is coming over shortly so that I can dye her hair just before Christmas. Of course this should be interesting as my kitchen is a disaster area due to the baking and cooking supper spree and not having enough time to clean it all while simultaneously getting the kids ready, thanks a lot for the help SO, no no you just stay napping on the couch, really, I'll be ok. Grr.

Later folks.

We've all agreed to call her Mischief. It totally fits her and SO has already dubbed her "Missy" for ease of use. She has already become his little suck which is quite funny because he has always maintained that he is more of a dog person.

Day one with her was a bit uneventful; she slept mostly, to hide from the terrifying creatures trying to coddle her to death. When the kids were asleep and the house was quieter, she did a little exploring and found she was a brave kitty after all, and not at all afraid to plonk away at the (thankfully plastic) ornaments on the tree or rip away at the rugs.

She ended up snoozing with us of course, until about 1 am when C was coughing and coughing away, I got up to give her some meds and Mischief of course being on top of my belly was quite put out about the disturbance. The result was she expected to be played with for at least 45 minutes before cuddling on the couch with me to watch some TV until we both passed out.

C ended up staying home sick today, legitimately as her cough was quite terrible and she had a bit of a fever. She was delighted to have the kitten snooze with her on the couch.

K learned the hard way that she had claws because she tried several times to crawl up his pantleg. He was quite offended that her little scratchy parts were in such close proximity to his kneecaps; we reminded him that we did try to warn him that might happen.

All in all though the kids are very pleased with her, as am I. Tomorrow we go to register her with the vet and get her checked out. This should be an adventure as I have yet to purchase a cat carrier...

Tonight I went out with my brother and his significant other and SO of course, for dinner. We all agreed rather than exchange gifts it's nicer to just get together for dinner. It was a really pleasant time and we need to do that more often I think.

Ok time to rest or something, I'm still zonked from the weekend which is unusual and leads me to believe if I'm not careful I'll be next on the coughing list. Also Mischief is crawling up my leg.